So long since the last update
Well, life has been and will be. Mid-November I stopped taking my epillepsy medications because I hadn't had any seizures for a few years, and my EEG and MRI were normal. Yesterday morning I had a gran mal seizure in my sleep. Now my tongue looks like hamburger, my neck hurts, and I think I pulled something in my abdomen during the seizure, not to mention I might have to take meds again. ATM, I'm extremely pissed off and took it out on my
I've been working on my HTML Web Publishing homework and I'm learning how to make web sites and all about HTML. You can see my progress here. If anyone out there knows HTML really well, let me know so I can ask you for help!
A couple weeks ago I found out my family and I might be moving again. Where to? Heheheh. California. Yay! I'll be three hours from Tim. -happy dance- This is something I'm really happy about. We can see each other on weekends, spend vacations and holidays together, and won't have to fly half-way across the country to see each other. He also mentioned he won't have to change his oil because of age. LOL
This May I'll be graduating with an associate's degree in Graphic Communication Arts, a major I hate. So this upcoming fall I'm going into teaching. I'm hoping to become a public middle/junior/high school art teacher, one of the above. :-) My mom thinks I'll do really well with 7th and 8th graders since I hated high school with such a great passion. I'll do a happy dance if my old high school burns to the ground, is blown off the planet, taken over by aliens, or simply destroyed. Yes, I'm serious.
Well, I'm really pissed off right now and want to take it out on someone. Why am I pissed? I had a seizure. I'm not supposed to have seizures anymore. I don't want to take pills all the time. Fuck! I hate this. I had a god damned fucking seizure and now...I just want to cry. I wish Tim were here, than I'd feel better about crying. You see, I don't cry, I rarely ever cry. Why? Because it shows weakness and I have to strong. I HAVE to be! If I'm weak and feel sorry for myself, what will that achieve? Sure, I'm depressed right now, and really angry, but I have a right to be. Crying just isn't something I'm used to and when I do cry I like to be held. My crying is silent, no one is ever aware I'm crying, only my dog is. No one in my family is the holding/touchy/feely type save for Raider. Tim, my boyfriend, is very touchy/feely, he loves to hold me and I love to be held, especially by him. He makes me feel so much better...which is why I'd rather cry in his arms...I wouldn't feel so ashamed about it. -sighs- But I can't. He isn't here, he's in California. I have to be strong right now. I lived with epillepsy for nearly eight years, I can pull through this. The main reasons I don't want to take meds and have epillepsy anymore is because I want to have children in the future, I want to go dancing, I want to go to concerts, eat different foods, and do things I couldn't before. My meds prevent me from doing a lot of things and so my seizures. Damnit...why couldn't it just go away? I hope this seizure was just the withdrawl, or a fluke. Maybe a reaction to the wrong tampons? My mom go the scented kind and I'm having a reaction to them...but I hate using pads. They feel like a fricking diaper. Eww...but now I have to use them. Grrr...Maybe my EEG and MRI will come back normal and I won't have to go on meds! I hope I don't have to, my personality changes, I don't feel certain emotions, and I have difficulty learning and understanding things. I go stupid. Now I want to cry...
I got a job finally. I work at the new Target out here for $6.90. Awesome, huh? REAL money. Minimum wage at a fast food joint that sux wasn't worth my time, so I quit. Sure, I'll be working on Food Avenue at Target, but for over a dollar more. Hmmm...6.90 minus 5.15 equals...well, I can't do math in my head so screw it.
Anywho, later all. And check out my gallery!
I've been working on my HTML Web Publishing homework and I'm learning how to make web sites and all about HTML. You can see my progress here. If anyone out there knows HTML really well, let me know so I can ask you for help!
A couple weeks ago I found out my family and I might be moving again. Where to? Heheheh. California. Yay! I'll be three hours from Tim. -happy dance- This is something I'm really happy about. We can see each other on weekends, spend vacations and holidays together, and won't have to fly half-way across the country to see each other. He also mentioned he won't have to change his oil because of age. LOL
This May I'll be graduating with an associate's degree in Graphic Communication Arts, a major I hate. So this upcoming fall I'm going into teaching. I'm hoping to become a public middle/junior/high school art teacher, one of the above. :-) My mom thinks I'll do really well with 7th and 8th graders since I hated high school with such a great passion. I'll do a happy dance if my old high school burns to the ground, is blown off the planet, taken over by aliens, or simply destroyed. Yes, I'm serious.
Well, I'm really pissed off right now and want to take it out on someone. Why am I pissed? I had a seizure. I'm not supposed to have seizures anymore. I don't want to take pills all the time. Fuck! I hate this. I had a god damned fucking seizure and now...I just want to cry. I wish Tim were here, than I'd feel better about crying. You see, I don't cry, I rarely ever cry. Why? Because it shows weakness and I have to strong. I HAVE to be! If I'm weak and feel sorry for myself, what will that achieve? Sure, I'm depressed right now, and really angry, but I have a right to be. Crying just isn't something I'm used to and when I do cry I like to be held. My crying is silent, no one is ever aware I'm crying, only my dog is. No one in my family is the holding/touchy/feely type save for Raider. Tim, my boyfriend, is very touchy/feely, he loves to hold me and I love to be held, especially by him. He makes me feel so much better...which is why I'd rather cry in his arms...I wouldn't feel so ashamed about it. -sighs- But I can't. He isn't here, he's in California. I have to be strong right now. I lived with epillepsy for nearly eight years, I can pull through this. The main reasons I don't want to take meds and have epillepsy anymore is because I want to have children in the future, I want to go dancing, I want to go to concerts, eat different foods, and do things I couldn't before. My meds prevent me from doing a lot of things and so my seizures. Damnit...why couldn't it just go away? I hope this seizure was just the withdrawl, or a fluke. Maybe a reaction to the wrong tampons? My mom go the scented kind and I'm having a reaction to them...but I hate using pads. They feel like a fricking diaper. Eww...but now I have to use them. Grrr...Maybe my EEG and MRI will come back normal and I won't have to go on meds! I hope I don't have to, my personality changes, I don't feel certain emotions, and I have difficulty learning and understanding things. I go stupid. Now I want to cry...
I got a job finally. I work at the new Target out here for $6.90. Awesome, huh? REAL money. Minimum wage at a fast food joint that sux wasn't worth my time, so I quit. Sure, I'll be working on Food Avenue at Target, but for over a dollar more. Hmmm...6.90 minus 5.15 equals...well, I can't do math in my head so screw it.
Anywho, later all. And check out my gallery!