im so sick
of everyone. its like 4 am in the morning and im sitting awake in bed and im so hungry, theres left over pizza donwstairs and its killing me so much i want to stuff my face with it. i feel like im going to cave all the time latley but then i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it makes me feel sick seeing all the disgusting lumps of dirty fat hanging off my body. i dont know why anyone would look so disgusting by choice. im thinking of telling my parents in going vegan, that way they cant feed me anything like meat or bread or the monstoristy that is know as butter. its fucking disgusting and so full of fat. maria wants to have lunch today but i cant sit there and not eat anything while she is because people will start to ask questions. i have to go with her or she'll start to get suspicious too. i dont know what to do anymore.. i might just order a salad and not eat for the rest of tomorrow. im so fucking fat i just want to get a knife and cut it all off
nk
xoxo