ahoo...la da da da do.. la de da...
Well.. well.. well.. Today out of all days i get in trouble.. My mom and i were fighting.. not saying its her fault, its mine too.. Im not gonna say anymore till i learn how to put people on my ignore list so that no EVERYONE can read this.. its gay! But lets see... Well today my phone rang and it was buddy.. omg.. thats what i said buddy lol... and we didnt really have much to say so he goes i will call you later.. ok so i took a nap and i woke up to my phone ringing and it was buddy asking me if i wanted to stop by.. WHATS GOin ON?? i dont know.. we agreed that we needed time, but see...i love him, yes i do.. i don want him and i to be history, but i just want to be able to trust him and him love me back, and WANT to be with me.. thats important.. So than i never stopped by adn he ended up calling me later, and than i toldl him that i might stop by, because i thought that my dad was leving and i would just stop by to talk ya know.. but i cant...im glad that i contained my self though and didnt like jump right in the car to go over there, that proved a lot to me about myself, and i thikn it proved a lot to him.. He knows that i love him, but i think that today he relized that i am not about to play any gams ya know.. if he wnats to be with me than cool we will be together but if not than what the hell am i waiint for.. I mean its not like i like anyone else or anything but i dont want my ass to sit around and wait..not literally because i have a lot of other people to hang out with and stuff ya know.. which is good with me.. Plus me and Keith are just becoming friends, hes a great person, and i don twant to have to not be friends with him bc of me and buddy.. I want to be with buddy though but somethings will just havet o change.. but why am i talkin all crazy for i dont even know if thats whats gonna happen (me and buddy getting back together) So im not gonna jump to any conclusions right now...not what i need to doo.. haha get my hopes up and than everything just CRASH! I a definantly not in the mood for that, but now that he is calling me i feel alot better inside with that whole situation.. I didnt want buddy and i to be done for good because i honestly think a lot of good can come from me and him, which i am hoping for.. But if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen... Hes a good person though... Ok new topic.. i havent talked to katie yet today, I wonder why she hasnt called me, its ok though i dont think that i am in any mood to talk to her right nw.. i am still upset about some things with last night.. that will take time...Last night at like 1:30 justin called me from detroit.. hmm i was sleeping, but it was good to hear his voice, there is ABSOLUTLY nothing there anymore, but its good to know he still thinks about me sometimes ya know.. as a friend.. i think that he is coming to town sometime soon.. not sure if i want to see him, i know nothing will happen, but hes just important to me because he was my first REAL crush ya know.. And now he is doing a lot with his life which is good, im glad to hear that he graduated and has a job, thats good.. he deserves to go on with his life and succeed..Ya know it feels really good to have the friends that i have.. like i haer all these things that happen to people iwth there girl friends, i have one friend that is a gurl that i dont want to loose for anything, and she is there for me through everything STEPHANIE.. No one needs 20 friends, who wants that just more drama...I have people who reall care about me, and if they decide not too, than thats on them..and if anyone does worry about that if people dont want to be your friend, just think to yourself.. ITS THERE LOST! I realized that you dont need a lot of friends, just have the friends that are there for you when you need them and be there when they need you. dont lie, dont stab in the back.. just be there.. and you will be fine.. haha my phone just rang, it was buddy! yay.. I think things are going good so far with me and him.. i would be so happy!! YAY I THINK THAT I MIGHT GO TO THE JESSICA SIMPSON CONCERT! I would be so happY!!
*natalie joan*