it's not the destination
We were in the car and I was explaining to Kevin how nervous I was getting about leaving, but that I couldn't be more excited - I've been waiting for a very long time for a change in scenery and I'm finally getting it. I'm scared but in the happiest way. I told him that I am very, very comfortable where I am. I am too comfortable. I have my parents to rely on, which means that right now I don't have much to worry about financially, or if I find myself out of a home. I also have him around - not to rely myself upon, but he does cover a significant portion of the psychological and emotional stability I could ever ask for.
I will say this once and only once, because even I get tired of shameless repition - I am going to miss him so much it hurts, but I still have this cozy feeling knowing that he is and will remain my best friend.
In any case, I do have the financial help I need right now (which I am very grateful for!) but the rest of it, well, I'm on my own. I don't feel that I've been completely on my own before. I'm not worried in the least - I speak the language, I've "met" my roommates over the Internet already, and communication the kids are using these days is just so darn quick it makes my eyes bleed - so there's no need for Mom to worry about where I am since she could most likely track my ass down in six minutes flat. I'm pretty convinced that you have to be at ease, proud, and confident with yourself before you can properly offer yourself to the world, let alone one other very significant person. But I want to be worried. I want to be scared! I need out of this bubble. I'm ready for some eye-openers and, how you say, the Unfamiliar.
Brad pointed out to me tonight that he was doing his engineering co-op term for eight months this past year, and came back to visit once or twice from Cranbrook. That went by really fast, he said. And here I was, stoking myself up on this humungous life altering thing. Well, maybe it will be - I hope it will be. The Kootenays aren't that far away, but it's certainly far enough to change your life if you let it. Then again, it's going to go by so fast none of you will even remember I've left!
Oh buddy - this is so long overdue. I'm major amped to get the F outta here.
Suckaaaaaas!
I will say this once and only once, because even I get tired of shameless repition - I am going to miss him so much it hurts, but I still have this cozy feeling knowing that he is and will remain my best friend.
In any case, I do have the financial help I need right now (which I am very grateful for!) but the rest of it, well, I'm on my own. I don't feel that I've been completely on my own before. I'm not worried in the least - I speak the language, I've "met" my roommates over the Internet already, and communication the kids are using these days is just so darn quick it makes my eyes bleed - so there's no need for Mom to worry about where I am since she could most likely track my ass down in six minutes flat. I'm pretty convinced that you have to be at ease, proud, and confident with yourself before you can properly offer yourself to the world, let alone one other very significant person. But I want to be worried. I want to be scared! I need out of this bubble. I'm ready for some eye-openers and, how you say, the Unfamiliar.
Brad pointed out to me tonight that he was doing his engineering co-op term for eight months this past year, and came back to visit once or twice from Cranbrook. That went by really fast, he said. And here I was, stoking myself up on this humungous life altering thing. Well, maybe it will be - I hope it will be. The Kootenays aren't that far away, but it's certainly far enough to change your life if you let it. Then again, it's going to go by so fast none of you will even remember I've left!
Oh buddy - this is so long overdue. I'm major amped to get the F outta here.
Suckaaaaaas!