Aug 16, 2010 13:48
No matter how fearless a person is, or may believe he is fear is one of the strongest feelings (to me) that impacts how I live my life. I am not skittish in anyway...but think about it, think of how you live your life, why you make some of the decisions that you do.
:-) Sometimes when I write of topics like this, I'm never sure how far I should go...should I be extreme? Should I keep it simple? My mind really ranges on these thoughts...my main bullet point with fear and uncertainty was really based upon why I can't show my personality when I dance. I wonder...if I'm not capable of sharing who I truly am with others socially, how am I going to do it dancing? Perhaps the depths of who I am does not need to be so transparent when I dance? I'm not sure if I would be satisfied of shallowly displaying who I am in dance as I do socially though...I never realized this about myself until now...things that I am passionate about I want to give it my all and really share my love and joy. lol...now I'm wondering what are the other things in my life that I am truly passionate about?
The correlation from dancing being my passion and wanting to really share myself...and my social interactions with others is not as important to me...ironic that I am less passionate about that. When I dance, though I am having a great time and I'm really happy, sometimes my inner feelings are rampant...I want to do something...I want to express something...I want to share something...but I hesitate then my moment passes. I am afraid to do it. I'm not sure if I can do it...am I capable? Will it be ok? Will it be accepted? What will people think? More importantly...what will my partner think? Will it screw him up? And after all of those questions have flipped through my head, I decide..."I won't do it...it's safer this way" When I'm by myself...I have such a great time dancing to the music...and I desparately want to when I'm holding his hand...but fear and uncertainty hold me back.
...I'm inspired to write a poem.