stalling out

[natalie0marie]

i've lost control
only to realize it was never mine in the first place

i need to stop thinking that i can fix things on my own
that i can change these things by myself

i've gotten so consumed in the selfish midset & i'm having trouble breaking free.

i have a reason to change
i have a reason to change

but i still can't do it.

i'm like a driver who doesn't know how to drive stick
i just move a little bit
only to stall out
start the car again
go
stall
stop
go
stall
stop

i'm tired of that pattern.
i'm ready to just go
and drive
and free myself from everything thats dragging me down

but i can't do it on my own
and i need to realize that
really, realize that

not just think it
but know it
and act on it

i am nothing on my own.
nothing.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. philippians 3:12-14