why god
Ex-All Saint Disappears into the Abyss
In a shocking move, Ex-All Saint Natalie Appleton has decided to take a leave of absence from LIFE following an ill-advised move to be seen publicly (or privately for that matter what the fuck) with former bandmates Shaznay Lewis and Melanie Blatt on the 30th of September. In a statement released by the gorgeous, charismatic, brilliant, perfect and wonderful popstar herself she says that she has made a terrible mistake and is seeking treatment for the move.
"Unfortunately, I was led astray by my attention whore sister who told me I was going to be dining with people who one, still had a brain and two, were not annoying stupid cunts. Once I was faced with the awful truth I quickly felt ashamed and tried to leave the area. As usual though the witches of Bitchwick used their supernatural powers to keep me from moving and, although this has has of yet gone unreported, having an actual conversation. I have been hanging my head in shame and sorrow ever since leaving the restaurant."
Appleton, along with sister Nicole, released a tell-all must read autobiography just two years ago revealing the evil true nature of the two other former All Saints. The book (WHICH YOU CAN PICK UP NOW!!!!) told of the attempts to make Nat and Nic almost non existent from their popular group, although obviously the more attractive and more talented of the quartet. In recent weeks however, Nicole's slowly deteriorating brain has caused her to make some unwise decisions including many meetings with big nosed Blatt. Natalie apparentaly has reprimanded her sister through emails and voice mails demanding she explain herself and get her life back on track.
"She's a twit is all. She's never made much sense in her actions, and after awhile there's just no stopping her from making bad decisions. Case in point, she let mega popstar Robbie Williams go. Haysoos Cristo Nicky."
It's unclear exactly what abyss (or rehab) Ms. Appleton will be throwing herself into, but it's rumoured to be deep and dark with excellent music and food. Many critics are saying "Forget Kate Moss, talk about bad decisions, HAHA NAT APPLETON." She responds to that with a sad nod of her head. "Ya."
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WEUIHEWUIHEUIDHUIDNUINWIRJWELKJWEEHJLEJKLWEJLEKJWELKJWE
Laters.
In a shocking move, Ex-All Saint Natalie Appleton has decided to take a leave of absence from LIFE following an ill-advised move to be seen publicly (or privately for that matter what the fuck) with former bandmates Shaznay Lewis and Melanie Blatt on the 30th of September. In a statement released by the gorgeous, charismatic, brilliant, perfect and wonderful popstar herself she says that she has made a terrible mistake and is seeking treatment for the move.
"Unfortunately, I was led astray by my attention whore sister who told me I was going to be dining with people who one, still had a brain and two, were not annoying stupid cunts. Once I was faced with the awful truth I quickly felt ashamed and tried to leave the area. As usual though the witches of Bitchwick used their supernatural powers to keep me from moving and, although this has has of yet gone unreported, having an actual conversation. I have been hanging my head in shame and sorrow ever since leaving the restaurant."
Appleton, along with sister Nicole, released a tell-all must read autobiography just two years ago revealing the evil true nature of the two other former All Saints. The book (WHICH YOU CAN PICK UP NOW!!!!) told of the attempts to make Nat and Nic almost non existent from their popular group, although obviously the more attractive and more talented of the quartet. In recent weeks however, Nicole's slowly deteriorating brain has caused her to make some unwise decisions including many meetings with big nosed Blatt. Natalie apparentaly has reprimanded her sister through emails and voice mails demanding she explain herself and get her life back on track.
"She's a twit is all. She's never made much sense in her actions, and after awhile there's just no stopping her from making bad decisions. Case in point, she let mega popstar Robbie Williams go. Haysoos Cristo Nicky."
It's unclear exactly what abyss (or rehab) Ms. Appleton will be throwing herself into, but it's rumoured to be deep and dark with excellent music and food. Many critics are saying "Forget Kate Moss, talk about bad decisions, HAHA NAT APPLETON." She responds to that with a sad nod of her head. "Ya."
************
WEUIHEWUIHEUIDHUIDNUINWIRJWELKJWEEHJLEJKLWEJLEKJWELKJWE
Laters.