grumblies
is it possible to always set yourself up to fail? Even if it's always subconsciously? I think it's a defense mechanism. for instance, I think I purposefully choose difficult things, so that if I fail I can say, "well, it's not like there was ever a chance of me succeeding at that anyhow." I think I'm crazy. haha, or not. The real crazy thing is that I sometimes succeed at whatever ridiculous task I create for myself and I don't know what to do about that. It's like a compliment- something I'm still not sure how to accept gracefully. *sigh* BAH!!!!!!!!!! Maybe one day I'll get this cluttered head of thoughts organized. Until then, I'll keep on trying to make sense of it all.