my life
ive been thinkin about my life lately. of all the few people in it. the people i obsess over and then realize that nothing will ever happen so i slowly back off. the people i think are my friends but know that theyre not. the peole that i know are not my friends and want to kill. why, me, could have a great lifestyle due to my upbringing, hates my life just because im enslaved and cant do what i want to. me who has no hope of love. i think of having good times with friends, chillin at someones house, then realize that those "friends" are only 5 people that i go over their house and just do nothing. I want to relax over the summer. my parents wont let me. i got $60 for yard work, and already had $20, but owe someone 20 and need to buy a new d2 disc so jerry can play, so ill have about $40 to last me the whole summer. It probably will due to the fact that no one loves me and i have no one to do somethin with. i wish someone would invite me to somethin just so i can be with other people. i want other friends, but all i want to do is sit off to the side and examine, just like a sniper, which makes me die because i want to be in there talking but i cant. i dont remember what movie, but someone said how theyd rather die fighting as a soldier than watch and live as a sniper. i want to be the soldier. unfortunately, i would be the first casualty as i have no social skills. i try. i cant last in the real world. i need help. this may seem dark, but its just cuz im depressed. i dont think ill kill myself, so dont worry. but its not like anyone will read this so i dont care.