RL update and some Brokeback fanart (huh, actors fangirling, really)
Okay, bad news first.
I'm sorry if I've not been quite there in LJ recently. As some of you already know, my mother had a very serious stroke last week and is now in intensive care at the hospital. She's hemiplegic and can't talk, but thankfully she understands perfectly what we tell her and manages to convey a lot though her expressions and hand movements. The doctors say they're surprised of how reactive and alert she is given the importance of the brain lesions, which makes me absurdly proud of her - and I really hope this bodes well for the re-education, and that she manages to get back as much as she can. I don't dare to hope for a complete recovery, but she's a strong woman.
And well. I'm so deeply relieved, because there was a time last week when we really thought she was going to die. They tried to give her food and she breathed it, and then it got infected, and the next day she was in resuscitation with oxygen and her heart beating at 120 and such a hight fever! And they sort of told us it was because of an oedema in her brain (which is there, but is under control). But she recovered, was admitted in one of the best neurology service in France which happens to be in Marseilles close to where we live - thanks for her HUUUGE family which as we discovered includes some neurologists... And today they decided she was good enough that they could unplug all these tubes and monitors and things.
So. Now? Months, and probably even years of reeducation for her. And us? My father seems to organise his life around her, so much even that I'm a bit afraid for him too. One of my sisters and I live close, and we're going to try to visit her as often as we can. And what's left is communicating with her, bringing her pictures and paintings and photos, maybe reading her stories - she agreed to try stories in English, mostly fairy tales for when my other sister's baby will be around, now let's hope she still understands English. And she was interested by the idea of organising a drawing contest among the children she was helping with homework :)
It's a bit hard for me to find a balance, I must admit. I'm a naturally optimistic person, and I'm already so happy that she's still the same person than she was before. But this, now, is basically a very long wait, and I know that I won't be able to spend as much time with her as I'm doing now. And for the moment, well, even when I'm doing something else, like drawing or driving or anything, it still feels like there's a part of my life that doesn't function normally, just like there's a part of her brain that doesn't function at all now. I had my cryings moments, though now it's more about hoping and waiting. And what's terrible is to realise that anyway you react, it might help you (or not), but it does nothing for her. And I'm sometimes feeling more rage than sorrow, and never can direct it against anyone or anything -just fate- but oh how I wish sometimes that I just could break something or pass my fist through a window or anything. Well, I guess I'll settle for cutting wood! As soon as it stops raining.
Also, you know, LJ is really helping. Thanks again to all the friends that just talked to me when I needed it, and thanks to you all for still maintaining this small LJ virtual universe that feels just more interesting and friendly and beautiful than life outside at the moment. So yes, I'm reading the flist, and still enjoying the HP fandom, and still a bit obsessing about Brokeback Mountain :) I'm trying to participate and answer the posts, but I'm not sure I'll be always very present or reactive. The Speck woman is still in progress, but I'm working at it! She now has a face, arms and hair. I think I won't show any WIP before it's done, though.
And meanwhile, have a bit of a Brokeback something. Copied from a photo, because it doesn't ask for too much creativity influx, and because it's one of the scenes that really touched me in the film -ah, this last image of Jack after it!
Rated, hum what? G? PG if you think you should prevent small children from seeing two men hugging?
Preview:
And yay for Jake Gyllenhaal getting the best supporting actor BAFTA! *fangirls* This guy is not only gorgeous and a good actor, he's intelligent and politically aware as well and dammit I'm turning into a right fangirl, which still scares me because he's really younger than I...
Also, if you posted anything Brokeback related, from reviews to fanfic or icons, could you please link me to it? As a part of the think-of-something-else therapy :)
I'm sorry if I've not been quite there in LJ recently. As some of you already know, my mother had a very serious stroke last week and is now in intensive care at the hospital. She's hemiplegic and can't talk, but thankfully she understands perfectly what we tell her and manages to convey a lot though her expressions and hand movements. The doctors say they're surprised of how reactive and alert she is given the importance of the brain lesions, which makes me absurdly proud of her - and I really hope this bodes well for the re-education, and that she manages to get back as much as she can. I don't dare to hope for a complete recovery, but she's a strong woman.
And well. I'm so deeply relieved, because there was a time last week when we really thought she was going to die. They tried to give her food and she breathed it, and then it got infected, and the next day she was in resuscitation with oxygen and her heart beating at 120 and such a hight fever! And they sort of told us it was because of an oedema in her brain (which is there, but is under control). But she recovered, was admitted in one of the best neurology service in France which happens to be in Marseilles close to where we live - thanks for her HUUUGE family which as we discovered includes some neurologists... And today they decided she was good enough that they could unplug all these tubes and monitors and things.
So. Now? Months, and probably even years of reeducation for her. And us? My father seems to organise his life around her, so much even that I'm a bit afraid for him too. One of my sisters and I live close, and we're going to try to visit her as often as we can. And what's left is communicating with her, bringing her pictures and paintings and photos, maybe reading her stories - she agreed to try stories in English, mostly fairy tales for when my other sister's baby will be around, now let's hope she still understands English. And she was interested by the idea of organising a drawing contest among the children she was helping with homework :)
It's a bit hard for me to find a balance, I must admit. I'm a naturally optimistic person, and I'm already so happy that she's still the same person than she was before. But this, now, is basically a very long wait, and I know that I won't be able to spend as much time with her as I'm doing now. And for the moment, well, even when I'm doing something else, like drawing or driving or anything, it still feels like there's a part of my life that doesn't function normally, just like there's a part of her brain that doesn't function at all now. I had my cryings moments, though now it's more about hoping and waiting. And what's terrible is to realise that anyway you react, it might help you (or not), but it does nothing for her. And I'm sometimes feeling more rage than sorrow, and never can direct it against anyone or anything -just fate- but oh how I wish sometimes that I just could break something or pass my fist through a window or anything. Well, I guess I'll settle for cutting wood! As soon as it stops raining.
Also, you know, LJ is really helping. Thanks again to all the friends that just talked to me when I needed it, and thanks to you all for still maintaining this small LJ virtual universe that feels just more interesting and friendly and beautiful than life outside at the moment. So yes, I'm reading the flist, and still enjoying the HP fandom, and still a bit obsessing about Brokeback Mountain :) I'm trying to participate and answer the posts, but I'm not sure I'll be always very present or reactive. The Speck woman is still in progress, but I'm working at it! She now has a face, arms and hair. I think I won't show any WIP before it's done, though.
And meanwhile, have a bit of a Brokeback something. Copied from a photo, because it doesn't ask for too much creativity influx, and because it's one of the scenes that really touched me in the film -ah, this last image of Jack after it!
Rated, hum what? G? PG if you think you should prevent small children from seeing two men hugging?
Preview:
And yay for Jake Gyllenhaal getting the best supporting actor BAFTA! *fangirls* This guy is not only gorgeous and a good actor, he's intelligent and politically aware as well and dammit I'm turning into a right fangirl, which still scares me because he's really younger than I...
Also, if you posted anything Brokeback related, from reviews to fanfic or icons, could you please link me to it? As a part of the think-of-something-else therapy :)