eating alone is the saddest thing
Today, having read yesterday for tomorrow, I took an afternoon walk down the very large hill to the shopping center to buy ingredients for Thai Tofu. On the way there, I got distracted by the shops. Normally, clothing stores would not distract me. However, I am required to have an all white--not bone, not eggshell, not ivory, not off-white of any variety, but WHITE--outfit for recruitment. Now, we all know that all white is not usually a flattering fashion choice, nor is it generally sought after unless one is a tennis player or a bride. But white I am required to wear. I have been fairly bitter about this for quite some time, because honestly, it seems like a waste of money.
However, I found a white skirt I like. And a white shirt. And a green one. And all of them are items I will wear outside of that one day of recruitment in January. So that was exciting. I put them on hold to avoid impulse buying and overdrawing my account.
Then I went and sat on a bench in the shade and read a bit of The Hours by Michael Cunningham. It was a delightful chapter.
Then I went shopping and walked back up the very large hill, through the greenery and past a little community garden until I arrived back at my little shit-hole college house.
The people next door often have dinner parties in their backyard. They sit and talk, and their kid runs around with their friends' kids and they are happy together until long past sunset. Eating alone is the saddest thing about living alone. Especially when one does not even have a table to eat at. Right now I want to get married just so that I never have to worry about eating alone. So that I can always come home at the end of the day and have a conversation with someone. So that we can throw dinner parties in our backyard that I will wear impractical white skirts to, and we will stay up late until our guests are no longer tipsy from the wine and the tiki lamps have burned down. And then, when they leave we will give them big hugs, even though they only live ten minutes away, and we will go into the house and agree to do the dishes together in the morning.
However, I found a white skirt I like. And a white shirt. And a green one. And all of them are items I will wear outside of that one day of recruitment in January. So that was exciting. I put them on hold to avoid impulse buying and overdrawing my account.
Then I went and sat on a bench in the shade and read a bit of The Hours by Michael Cunningham. It was a delightful chapter.
Then I went shopping and walked back up the very large hill, through the greenery and past a little community garden until I arrived back at my little shit-hole college house.
The people next door often have dinner parties in their backyard. They sit and talk, and their kid runs around with their friends' kids and they are happy together until long past sunset. Eating alone is the saddest thing about living alone. Especially when one does not even have a table to eat at. Right now I want to get married just so that I never have to worry about eating alone. So that I can always come home at the end of the day and have a conversation with someone. So that we can throw dinner parties in our backyard that I will wear impractical white skirts to, and we will stay up late until our guests are no longer tipsy from the wine and the tiki lamps have burned down. And then, when they leave we will give them big hugs, even though they only live ten minutes away, and we will go into the house and agree to do the dishes together in the morning.