(no subject)
I feel like crap (as you might have gussed from the latest posts :p)
I hate it when really feel shitty when other people who have it much more rough than me, have bad days because then it sounds so patetic when I complain because I can't help them (its the protective, seme instinct I suppose)
and then they do that 'I feel really shitty, so therefore I'm going to put up a brave face and not complain about it (inpublic, anyway) well atleast not in an overly agressive childish way) but this mature, kinda bitter sweet way, because you know.. it fucing hurts and I'm not gonna bitch about it anymore because that doesn't make me feel better' -thing
people that are strong do that. my mother does it. she's been trough shit, mann.. my own puny problems are shit in commparasemnt to everybody elses'
and.. I FUCKING HATE IT
when I feel bad, I want the whole fucking WORLD to know it. I'm MAD and DEPRESSED and FUREIOUS because I have to feel this way, when all I did wrong was get BORN with this fucking head in the first place
but I cant do that... it sounds so fucking selfcentered and childish.. maturety comes with strenght and selfreliance (erh what I mean by that is the opposidte of 'helplessnessity')
I'm not strong. I'm not self reliant. in this repsect I certanly suck, and deserve to get a wakeup-shot
I'm.. just.. so.... very.. very.. very
..lonely
I hate it when really feel shitty when other people who have it much more rough than me, have bad days because then it sounds so patetic when I complain because I can't help them (its the protective, seme instinct I suppose)
and then they do that 'I feel really shitty, so therefore I'm going to put up a brave face and not complain about it (inpublic, anyway) well atleast not in an overly agressive childish way) but this mature, kinda bitter sweet way, because you know.. it fucing hurts and I'm not gonna bitch about it anymore because that doesn't make me feel better' -thing
people that are strong do that. my mother does it. she's been trough shit, mann.. my own puny problems are shit in commparasemnt to everybody elses'
and.. I FUCKING HATE IT
when I feel bad, I want the whole fucking WORLD to know it. I'm MAD and DEPRESSED and FUREIOUS because I have to feel this way, when all I did wrong was get BORN with this fucking head in the first place
but I cant do that... it sounds so fucking selfcentered and childish.. maturety comes with strenght and selfreliance (erh what I mean by that is the opposidte of 'helplessnessity')
I'm not strong. I'm not self reliant. in this repsect I certanly suck, and deserve to get a wakeup-shot
I'm.. just.. so.... very.. very.. very
..lonely