Apo's mission

[naryrising]

Apo's getting all worked up about this plan of his... well, it's not exactly a plan, 'cause for it to be a plan he'd have to know what he was doing once he got there, but it's a thing he's gonna do, anyway. I'm sure it's a combination of different worries - he feels like he's responsible for everyone who's going along with it, no matter how much I tell him that they're going because they want to be there, and they want to help him, and whatever happens, they're willing to accept the consequences. I know that's why I'm going, at least, and I bet it's the same for everyone else.

Hell, I wouldn't let him go face ...whatever this is, by himself. I know he's scared something will go wrong, or that this will only make things worse, but I don't know how it could get worse - if the people out there are already dead, then they're dead (I didn't say that to him, of course). Whatever happens, is going to happen. I don't think he necessarily has control over any of it, and nobody knows what it's going to be like. But he's gotta try, anyway, and so I've gotta be there with him. Because he was always there for me when I've tried things that I needed to do, to keep myself whole and feel right about what I'd done. Because I love him, and I'm not letting him go into that fucking hole in space alone.

Maybe after all this is over, things will get back to the way they were before. I can hope, anyway...