We're visiting the mystery elf, but I cannot. See. Anything. AUGH! *mutters* What is he saying? *tries to wait patiently to see/hear what will happen next*
Melba, I must know! You are a Hobbit maid. How did you come to possess...*smiles*..."possess" is not the right word, as you know after listening to my darling for a while...rather, how did you come to carry Narya?
For yes, I am her creator. I crafted her and her two siblings ages ago.
I . . I don't know . . strange things were going on then. Melkor was popping in and Bingo kidnapped his kid so that he could bargain with Melkor and make him go away. It was a crazy time, whoo!
Yeah, he does. And he runs a porn movie business now. Or he was, last I heard.
Yeah, I think they did meet. Bingo told me he had a run in with the two of them together at some point. Sauron has a pretty good pizza franchise going.
To be fair, the son is quite unlike the father. Melkor's son took very good care of me while I was with him.
A porn movie business is where one makes a living producing and distributing niche-driven independent films of varying quality and subject matter. If anyone asks you to be in one of these films, run away. Pizza, on the other hand, may well be the food of the gods.
MELKOR'S SON TOUCHED YOUR PRECIOUSNESS TOOK CARE OF YOU????
This is most unfortunate. I mean, that he had you in his keeping, not because he did a good job of it. For that I am grateful. Oh my. I cannot speak coherently.
Thank you. I was approached several years ago by one "Peter Jackson" who asked me to audition for a movie "Lord of the Elven Rings". He wanted me to recreate the forging of the rings but a modern naked version. I refused. He was so upset that he rewrote the movie to feature Sauron and HIS ring. Still, I did get to work for Mr. Jackson as a designer.
He did much more than touch did. I think he had many of us, at one time or another. He really likes shiny things for their beauty alone, not for any power they can give him.
You're quite welcome. Ah, you were smart to refuse--sounds like it was a very fishy offer, this 'modern, naked version.' Who'd want to see anything like that? Hmm, the mun just wibbled and fell off her chair. Silly, weak woman, she is. And how was working with Mr. Jackson?
He will DIE for that! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! should not have had you at all. I see that I have been remiss in leaving you in the care of Cirdan.
I don't know WHY the idea of naked Elves puts our muns in a such a dither. Every morning, I look in the mirror and gaze upon my smooth, pale flesh; my perfectly-toned muscles strengthened and sculpted by long hours at the anvil; my elegant Elven features and think, "Celebrimbor? You don't look a century over 3,000". Our muns must like older males.
Mr. Jackson was a fine person. Except when he wanted to join me during my Morning Mirror routine.
*smiles at Narya's little flare-up* You are not tainted in any way, my perfect darling. You are as pure as the fire with which you were created. TELL ME WHAT HE DID SO I CAN KILL HIM TOO!!!!!!
Yes, Mr. Jackson did have excellent taste in Elves. He must have had, since our muns crammed their hard drives full with suggestive photos of them.
*brief sparkle* I was with Cirdan for quite a while. But no one wants to keep me! I--I've had many bearers, heruamin. I'm so glad you've tamed that Noldorin tendency toward vengence.
Indeed he did. My mun insists she doesn't know what you are referring to.
For yes, I am her creator. I crafted her and her two siblings ages ago.
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THE CAT???? Why would A CAT have Narya???
Oh that is too much!
*flops back against the pillows*
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Um . . .
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But...he was confined to Mandos as a prisoner! And he has a child???
Such tales never reached me in Eregion, my home.
Did he leave? Did meet with Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor?
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Yeah, he does. And he runs a porn movie business now. Or he was, last I heard.
Yeah, I think they did meet. Bingo told me he had a run in with the two of them together at some point. Sauron has a pretty good pizza franchise going.
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This is so much to learn all at once.
*sends mental note to Narya* Lirimaer, what exactly is a "porn movie business"? Is it evil? And what is meant by "pizza"? Is it something foul, too?
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A porn movie business is where one makes a living producing and distributing niche-driven independent films of varying quality and subject matter. If anyone asks you to be in one of these films, run away. Pizza, on the other hand, may well be the food of the gods.
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This is most unfortunate. I mean, that he had you in his keeping, not because he did a good job of it. For that I am grateful. Oh my. I cannot speak coherently.
Thank you. I was approached several years ago by one "Peter Jackson" who asked me to audition for a movie "Lord of the Elven Rings". He wanted me to recreate the forging of the rings but a modern naked version. I refused. He was so upset that he rewrote the movie to feature Sauron and HIS ring. Still, I did get to work for Mr. Jackson as a designer.
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You're quite welcome. Ah, you were smart to refuse--sounds like it was a very fishy offer, this 'modern, naked version.' Who'd want to see anything like that? Hmm, the mun just wibbled and fell off her chair. Silly, weak woman, she is. And how was working with Mr. Jackson?
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I don't know WHY the idea of naked Elves puts our muns in a such a dither. Every morning, I look in the mirror and gaze upon my smooth, pale flesh; my perfectly-toned muscles strengthened and sculpted by long hours at the anvil; my elegant Elven features and think, "Celebrimbor? You don't look a century over 3,000". Our muns must like older males.
Mr. Jackson was a fine person. Except when he wanted to join me during my Morning Mirror routine.
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Quite right! Even though our muns often act like children, that must be the case. *flashes at giggling mun*
Well, at least it can be said Mr. Jackson has excellent taste when it comes to Elves.
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Yes, Mr. Jackson did have excellent taste in Elves. He must have had, since our muns crammed their hard drives full with suggestive photos of them.
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Indeed he did. My mun insists she doesn't know what you are referring to.
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O.O I am so keeping you to myself for a while, anyway.
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