Puckurt Drabbles.
Title: What is in a name?
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: What is in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.
Word Count: ~350
Puck didn’t like his last name. Ok, Puckerman was the reason he became Puck, but that was more something about not being his mom’s Noah to everyone else, and because he really couldn’t stand to hear his father’s last name when people talked about him.
He had dealt with his feelings for his father, long ago, it wasn’t really a problem now, the man was gone and he was going to stay gone. That didn’t meant he didn’t feel a bit ashamed to have the name of someone who didn’t care enough about him to give him a call after he left. He would have rather been Noah Koplowitz than Puckerman, but, whatever. His name was in the registry already and it would be a bother to do the paperwork to change it.
So, his last name bothered him? Boo fucking hoo.
He’d just deal.
He turned into Puck, who at least could be that little pixie he had seen in a play with Rachel, and make a name for himself.
But then, decades after he first decided to be Puck, when he was living in New York and had left almost all his past behind (with small doses of going back to it, for Hanukah and Thanks Giving, mostly), Kurt popped the question.
He couldn’t say anything but yes.
One, because he was too surprised to be asked instead of being the one asking; and two, because, well… he really couldn’t imagine anything better than staying with Kurt until they grew old and fluffy, and his guns faded, and Kurt’s head started going bald and all. Just. Really, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do for the rest of his life.
So he said yes.
Well… or something like it.
“Hummel”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
“No, I’m going to be Noah Hummel. I don’t really hold anything for the name Puckerman, and when we have kids it’s going to be a bother for them to write something long like Hummel-Puckerman or Puckerman-Hummel”
“So… Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes”
Title: Numb
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart.
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: ~550
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart.
There was that time his dad left, just before his game, just before his sister birthday, leaving nothing but a sad little girl who didn’t really understood why her dad was coming home so late.
There was the moment he realized that, besides football, he didn’t really have that many good things going on for him, no matter what his mom told him. It was obvious that no one else believed what she said, if even the girl he liked could call him a Lima loser to him just like that.
Then, there was Beth. She broke his heart in the worst way; she was at the top of his list for years. He could remember her, just when she was born and they gave her away. He remembered signing the papers not really knowing what he was doing, barely aware of all the pain he was feeling because he was just so numb from it that the wound didn’t felt as fatal as it was.
And then he had to say goodbye to her again just a year later. He didn’t even bother looking at Shelby, she wasn’t worth it, but Beth… she looked so happy to see him, all hands and smiles, and it broke him again to have to say goodbye, this time God knew for how long.
The other things didn’t felt as heartbreaking in comparison to those 4 things. Yeah, he had lost Finn’s friendship, but he got it back at some point and even better, being Finn’s friend now implied being Kurt’s friend… and that was one of the few good things that had happened to him. Then there was the way he felt when he realized that he had messed up a lot of people lives while he was messed up, but he worked hard and fixed that. No regrets on that field. Losing his job had been a downer but it wasn’t that bad, he had an amazing husband at home who made it all better, bitching for him when it was needed.
But then, good things, bad things, heartbreaking things… they all paled in comparison to what he was feeling now.
It was just like giving Beth away again, only worse because no matter what he did now… there was no going back, he was never going to mend his heart from this and he knew it.
It was in the back of his head, a feeling of desperation so strong that numbed him to everything else. Numbed the pain, the tears, the fear… he only knew that this was it.
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart, but he had always managed to mend it afterwards.
But this… there was no mending for this.
He kissed Kurt for the last time, and as they kissed he could taste Kurt tears, and his blood, and the way life was slowly going away from him.
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart, but feeling the love of your life dying under your lips, there was no going back from that. There was no mending.
There was only numbness.
Title: Healing Process
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: It had taken a lot of things, but he was better now. So much better than he ever though he could be.
Word Count: ~780
It had taken a while, so much more than Puck was willing to give it, and dedication, so much more than he felt he deserved, but it had happened. He wasn’t even sure how it came to happen, but it had; it had laid on his back without him noticing, like a blanket, like rain, like a hug… and it had covered the scars and cracks that life had started carving into him since he could remember.
It had taken effort, not necessarily his (though he had been convinced to help himself); it had been mostly that of his friend. Back then he didn’t even know that he needed that effort, how much he craved it. Not to actually put the effort, but to feel that someone was giving its best effort for him. It was weird. He was so used to be the last one to take on account, the guy left to fend by himself, that he didn’t even realize how much he liked being put first on the list, top priority… and not just once, no, it wasn’t a fluke. It was a constant thing. The first guy called if he needed help, the first one asked when an opinion was needed, the first one called when he wanted to celebrate.
It had taken love. Not the kind he was used to, not the sweaty and rough time in the sheets (though that might come later), but the slow burning fire that set on his belly each time they spoke, or saw each other on the hallway. The closeness that came from having a friend which, more than a best friend (who could be just about anyone) was good to him regardless of the status of their friendship, the warmth that seemed to surround him when they held hands for the first time and whenever they hugged, the hard time he had had controlling his tears when, for the first time in ages, he had said “I’m proud of you”.
It had taken pride. Not in his guns (though he still felt proud of them), but in the way he had started to rebuild his life little by little, mending what could be mended and throwing away the bad things (the hate he felt for his father, the regret he felt because of Beth, the shame he felt of being himself, the fear of a future that he had never felt he was entitled to have). It had taken him to learn to have pride in who he was now, who he was turning to be, who he was willing to become, pride of the road he had to walk to get where he was, not forgetting the stuff he had done but rising over it.
It had taken a family. At first not his own, it was Finn’s, it was Kurt’s, it was Rachel’s, then his sister and his mother; it was like his mom’s patchwork, a mix of so many different things that looked quite ugly together no matter how much she tried, but it was warm and loving. He had, for so long, to try to be himself by himself, forgetting what he had at home, the people he could count on, that the very people who should have had his back didn’t even knew they should have been worried. Carole had been his first motherly figure, the first real one (his own mother was more a friend than a mom) and later Burt had taken him under his wing, and one of his boys. Burt… Burt called him son, sure he called everyone son, but it held another meaning between them and that was enough for him. Hiram and Leroy where like his uncles. Those really gay uncles that every family had, with the annoying cousin; the uncles that loved you like you were one of their own kids… the one that made you tea when you were so confused about your sexuality you didn’t know what your name was anymore.
It had taken Kurt. All of him. His preoccupation and his willingness to be there for him, first as a fellow Glee Clubber, then as Finn’s brother, then as a friend, as a good friend, as a best friend, as that guy you were best friend with but the sexual tension was so strong between you that you couldn’t actually talk to him… It had taken his care, his warm smile, his loving hands, his tight hugs, his willingness to be with him, his cheers to aim higher, his secret smiles and his love.
More than anything, his love.
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: What is in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.
Word Count: ~350
Puck didn’t like his last name. Ok, Puckerman was the reason he became Puck, but that was more something about not being his mom’s Noah to everyone else, and because he really couldn’t stand to hear his father’s last name when people talked about him.
He had dealt with his feelings for his father, long ago, it wasn’t really a problem now, the man was gone and he was going to stay gone. That didn’t meant he didn’t feel a bit ashamed to have the name of someone who didn’t care enough about him to give him a call after he left. He would have rather been Noah Koplowitz than Puckerman, but, whatever. His name was in the registry already and it would be a bother to do the paperwork to change it.
So, his last name bothered him? Boo fucking hoo.
He’d just deal.
He turned into Puck, who at least could be that little pixie he had seen in a play with Rachel, and make a name for himself.
But then, decades after he first decided to be Puck, when he was living in New York and had left almost all his past behind (with small doses of going back to it, for Hanukah and Thanks Giving, mostly), Kurt popped the question.
He couldn’t say anything but yes.
One, because he was too surprised to be asked instead of being the one asking; and two, because, well… he really couldn’t imagine anything better than staying with Kurt until they grew old and fluffy, and his guns faded, and Kurt’s head started going bald and all. Just. Really, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do for the rest of his life.
So he said yes.
Well… or something like it.
“Hummel”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
“No, I’m going to be Noah Hummel. I don’t really hold anything for the name Puckerman, and when we have kids it’s going to be a bother for them to write something long like Hummel-Puckerman or Puckerman-Hummel”
“So… Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes”
Title: Numb
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart.
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: ~550
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart.
There was that time his dad left, just before his game, just before his sister birthday, leaving nothing but a sad little girl who didn’t really understood why her dad was coming home so late.
There was the moment he realized that, besides football, he didn’t really have that many good things going on for him, no matter what his mom told him. It was obvious that no one else believed what she said, if even the girl he liked could call him a Lima loser to him just like that.
Then, there was Beth. She broke his heart in the worst way; she was at the top of his list for years. He could remember her, just when she was born and they gave her away. He remembered signing the papers not really knowing what he was doing, barely aware of all the pain he was feeling because he was just so numb from it that the wound didn’t felt as fatal as it was.
And then he had to say goodbye to her again just a year later. He didn’t even bother looking at Shelby, she wasn’t worth it, but Beth… she looked so happy to see him, all hands and smiles, and it broke him again to have to say goodbye, this time God knew for how long.
The other things didn’t felt as heartbreaking in comparison to those 4 things. Yeah, he had lost Finn’s friendship, but he got it back at some point and even better, being Finn’s friend now implied being Kurt’s friend… and that was one of the few good things that had happened to him. Then there was the way he felt when he realized that he had messed up a lot of people lives while he was messed up, but he worked hard and fixed that. No regrets on that field. Losing his job had been a downer but it wasn’t that bad, he had an amazing husband at home who made it all better, bitching for him when it was needed.
But then, good things, bad things, heartbreaking things… they all paled in comparison to what he was feeling now.
It was just like giving Beth away again, only worse because no matter what he did now… there was no going back, he was never going to mend his heart from this and he knew it.
It was in the back of his head, a feeling of desperation so strong that numbed him to everything else. Numbed the pain, the tears, the fear… he only knew that this was it.
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart, but he had always managed to mend it afterwards.
But this… there was no mending for this.
He kissed Kurt for the last time, and as they kissed he could taste Kurt tears, and his blood, and the way life was slowly going away from him.
There were few things that Puck would say that could break his heart, but feeling the love of your life dying under your lips, there was no going back from that. There was no mending.
There was only numbness.
Title: Healing Process
Pairing: Puckurt
Author: naryakiuxen
Rating: PG13
Summary: It had taken a lot of things, but he was better now. So much better than he ever though he could be.
Word Count: ~780
It had taken a while, so much more than Puck was willing to give it, and dedication, so much more than he felt he deserved, but it had happened. He wasn’t even sure how it came to happen, but it had; it had laid on his back without him noticing, like a blanket, like rain, like a hug… and it had covered the scars and cracks that life had started carving into him since he could remember.
It had taken effort, not necessarily his (though he had been convinced to help himself); it had been mostly that of his friend. Back then he didn’t even know that he needed that effort, how much he craved it. Not to actually put the effort, but to feel that someone was giving its best effort for him. It was weird. He was so used to be the last one to take on account, the guy left to fend by himself, that he didn’t even realize how much he liked being put first on the list, top priority… and not just once, no, it wasn’t a fluke. It was a constant thing. The first guy called if he needed help, the first one asked when an opinion was needed, the first one called when he wanted to celebrate.
It had taken love. Not the kind he was used to, not the sweaty and rough time in the sheets (though that might come later), but the slow burning fire that set on his belly each time they spoke, or saw each other on the hallway. The closeness that came from having a friend which, more than a best friend (who could be just about anyone) was good to him regardless of the status of their friendship, the warmth that seemed to surround him when they held hands for the first time and whenever they hugged, the hard time he had had controlling his tears when, for the first time in ages, he had said “I’m proud of you”.
It had taken pride. Not in his guns (though he still felt proud of them), but in the way he had started to rebuild his life little by little, mending what could be mended and throwing away the bad things (the hate he felt for his father, the regret he felt because of Beth, the shame he felt of being himself, the fear of a future that he had never felt he was entitled to have). It had taken him to learn to have pride in who he was now, who he was turning to be, who he was willing to become, pride of the road he had to walk to get where he was, not forgetting the stuff he had done but rising over it.
It had taken a family. At first not his own, it was Finn’s, it was Kurt’s, it was Rachel’s, then his sister and his mother; it was like his mom’s patchwork, a mix of so many different things that looked quite ugly together no matter how much she tried, but it was warm and loving. He had, for so long, to try to be himself by himself, forgetting what he had at home, the people he could count on, that the very people who should have had his back didn’t even knew they should have been worried. Carole had been his first motherly figure, the first real one (his own mother was more a friend than a mom) and later Burt had taken him under his wing, and one of his boys. Burt… Burt called him son, sure he called everyone son, but it held another meaning between them and that was enough for him. Hiram and Leroy where like his uncles. Those really gay uncles that every family had, with the annoying cousin; the uncles that loved you like you were one of their own kids… the one that made you tea when you were so confused about your sexuality you didn’t know what your name was anymore.
It had taken Kurt. All of him. His preoccupation and his willingness to be there for him, first as a fellow Glee Clubber, then as Finn’s brother, then as a friend, as a good friend, as a best friend, as that guy you were best friend with but the sexual tension was so strong between you that you couldn’t actually talk to him… It had taken his care, his warm smile, his loving hands, his tight hugs, his willingness to be with him, his cheers to aim higher, his secret smiles and his love.
More than anything, his love.