Dark Side Of The Moon (12/19)
Title: Dark Side Of The Moon
Chapters: 12/? ( Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 )
Authors: narya86 & tetila
Pairing: Daniel Agger/Fernando Torres
Rating: Overall NC-17.
Disclaimer: More fiction probably isn't possible. We just borrowed the names of certain people... ;)
Summary: The first demon had died under Fernando’s hands when he had been nine. Daniel had always tried to stay away from Hunters, for obvious reasons.
A/N: We had a little trouble with this chapter so we hope it agrees with you guys. Have fun!
Chapter 12
And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night
Said he’d seen my enemy, said he looked just like me
So I set out to cut myself and here I go
And maybe someday we will meet and maybe talk and not just speak
Don’t buy the promises cause there are no promises I keep
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go
I'm not calling for a second chance
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason but don’t give me choice
Cause I’ll just make the same mistake again
~ James Blunt ~
***
The floorboard under him squeaked softly when Fernando put his weight on it and he stilled for a moment, listening. His hand was clenched tightly around the gun in his hand, all senses focused, muscles tense.
Dust was covering the dark wooden floors, furniture, heavy curtains, the air was stale, musty, suffocating. For years no one had lived in the age-old villa at the outskirts of Madrid anymore. Not since all three last attempts had ended before they had even started - in death.
None of the light switches Fernando had tried had any effect on the long shadows and dark corners that filled every room, silence following him everywhere he went, cold sitting in the back of his neck, and he had no choice but to depend on his instincts.
He knew she was here. Somewhere.
Every time Fernando turned around a corner, his body tensing, adrenalin keeping it on edge, expecting something, he only found another empty room, lifeless, his own heartbeat rushing impossible loud in his ears as his only companion. He hated cases like this one, the unnatural silence, the permanent feeling of being watched in the back of his neck. They were unpredictable, because most of the time you didn’t know what they wanted.
Fernando halted at a door leading deeper into the house, listening, and with one hand he carefully and slowly pushed it open, his back still facing the wall, wincing at the rusty sound the door hinge made.
He took a deep breath, hands tightening around the gun and the flashlight he held before he turned into the room fast, heart racing as he hastily searched all the dark spots.
Nothing. Only more dust and stale air.
He knew she was waiting, patiently, having all the time in the world. Watching.
Fernando took a step backwards out of the room when he felt something crackling under his foot. Tensing, waiting a moment, eyes and senses attentive he manoeuvred himself with his back to the wall again before risking a quick glance down.
It was a dried up, faded sepia brown photograph, a family portrait. Regal, stern looking man in a suit, woman in a dress, teenage boy and two children, boy and girl, maybe nine or ten years old.
Fernando’s gaze snapped back up as the faint echo of running footsteps reached his ears and his eyes darted around, his own breathing sounding so loud. Was that laughter?
He waited for a few heartbeats until the heavy silence was back and then slowly walked back down the corridor. As it seemed she wasn’t going to appear down here, so maybe his best bet really was the upstairs rooms.
The wooden steps creaked under his feet, barely having been used in about a century. All attempts throughout the years at selling the house after that first death so long ago had ended in even more ‘accidents’. And of course her bones had already been located, salted and burned - and yet she was still here.
He moved as silently as he could, taking the steps carefully but swiftly while he tried to avoid putting all his weight on the old wooden steps. Each noise he made could be a provocation for her and Fernando really didn’t want to piss off a ghost. The corridor that opened up before him was pitch-black, not even the soft glow of the moon reached through the tarnished windows. The Hunter stopped at the top of the stairs, listening, before he continued his way down the corridor, and with every further step he took his senses were screaming danger, the hairs at the back of his neck standing up.
Fernando halted in his movements next to an ajar door as the air was getting colder, the complete silence having fallen around him almost suffocating, his breath curling faintly in the air. Slowly he pushed his hand against the door to reveal exactly what he had been looking for: a girl’s bedroom. Dusty and dark as everything else - and just as empty.
Warily Fernando stepped inside, his gaze darting over a bed, commode, closet, over old toys and a collection of impeccably dressed but faded dolls. Their open, unseeing eyes faintly reflecting the light of his flashlight sent a brief shudder down his spine. They looked like they were standing guard… and if Fernando was honest with himself he really didn’t want to be here. Those cases were just so unpredictable, so much tension, and he could only hope to find what she was bound to, and fast.
Fernando halted in his movements when he heard a slight creaking coming from the direction of the closet facing the dolls. Quickly he redirected his gun and the light, just as with a soft but in the thick silence incredibly loud sound, a small ball rolled out of the shadows and over the wooden floor, slowing and stopping right between his feet.
Fernando never looked away from the dark corner where it had come from, but nothing else moved, nothing made any sound except for his own breaths that echoed in his ear. And yet he felt like eyes were on him, staring from every angle in the room.
Just come out already…
And then something else reached his ears, faint and from somewhere outside, so out of place and yet so fitting. A young voice raised in a soft, hummed tune.
Fernando turned around, listening as he let the almost outlandish tune, a nursery rhyme, lead him back into the hallway and towards the large entrance hall with the stairs again. He felt the soft hairs on his arm rise as if they wanted to prevent him from going any further, the cold had crept out here now and he had to suppress the shiver that wanted to run through his body. Shaky hands could be fatal in a situation like this.
Suddenly the soft singing stopped, leaving the hallway in an almost unnatural silence and the only thing he could hear was his own breath echoing in his ears. There next to the top of the stairs. A soft shift in the air, like light reflecting on water, a shape flickering in and out almost too fast to get a full picture. The form of a girl clad in a dress, dark hair in curls and tied with a ribbon, doll in her hand, running over to the slender wooden balustrade, jumping up onto a small step standing right before it, leaning over to let her doll fly in her hand above the ground far below.
Fernando felt his breath coming shorter. No expression of hostility so far. His finger was resting firmly on the trigger of his gun.
“Drop her!”
The sudden shout from behind him made Fernando’s heart almost stop in his chest, and he swirled around just in time with the girl. A boy with accurately combed dark hair and a smirk sauntered past him and up to her, not even giving him one glance, his body flickering and faded but oh so real. The scene playing before him reminded Fernando of an old movie, faded sepia and washed out colours, but clear all the same. He didn’t dare to move as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes, somehow felt like he couldn’t even move.
“What are you doing here?!” she hissed, clutching her doll to her chest, her voice like cackling static. “Leave me alone!”
“She’ll fly for real if you drop her.”
“You can’t leave your room until tomorrow!”
“Because you ran to Mother and blamed me for what you did!”
“You deserved it! Go away! Go away!”
“If I tell father what you did to our cat you’re going to get stuck into an orphanage!”
An enraged scream came over the girl’s lips and she kicked out hard at the boy standing in front of her, catching him in the stomach. He cried out shortly and then, just a second later, shoved her. And from where she stood on her small step her body was folding over the balustrade, lost balance, and she fell with another scream out of view.
Even though the rational part of his brain knew that this wasn’t real Fernando felt his heart plummet down right into his stomach for a moment, and before he knew what he was doing, not strong enough to hold on to his rational thinking, he felt himself running to cross the distance to the balustrade.
Adrenalin cursing wildly through his body he didn’t even see the boy disappearing into thin air, gripping the balustrade and leaning over it, completely irrationally, gun still in one hand, a voice in his head screaming to get a fucking grip, but all he saw far down there was the dark wooden floor, spotless and pristine. No sign of the little girl - of course, that voice somewhere in his mind shouted - and before he realised what was happening the scene changed, the sepia shifting back into the dark shadows of an abandoned house.
In that moment Fernando managed to rip himself away from that strange moment where he hadn’t been fully in control of himself, quickly shaking his head to clear it. Gripping both flashlight and gun tighter he turned around - and found himself staring into a young face framed with curls and eyes that glinted with rage and hatred and thirst for revenge.
Before Fernando could move a single muscle he was shoved back with inhuman strength, catapulting him over the balustrade - and he fell.
In that horrible moment where his heart missed a long beat as his body was following the undeniable grip of gravity, surrounded by nothing but air with nothing to hold on to, his widened eyes fixed on that unsteady face with the deadly glint in her eyes, the dark curls just like… just like…
And then he knew.
It was her doll, sitting back in her room, with hair from just those curls.
So this is what all the others saw right before they died, just like this. This was her ‘accident’.
And then he crushed to the ground, air being knocked out of his lungs, a rush of pain as he felt bones cracking, and he lay still.
Maybe he had blacked out for a moment, he didn’t know. All Fernando was aware of now was that he couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, maybe didn’t even want to.
Breathe. Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
The dust had formed a small cloud around his form, denying him the much needed oxygen. Pain. Fernando could feel the broken bones - rib, upper arm, wrist - and knew exactly why other humans were so very unlikely to survive that fall. And it hurt, God it hurt.
For a brief moment he played with the thought of just giving up, not even trying to get up, liking the fact that at least then, here and now, he would be in control. He could choose. Choose the time. Choose how. And it wouldn’t be like in his dreams.
Warmth. Safety. Dan.
Maybe he really missed it. Missed him.
Funny how clear thoughts are during near death experiences.
But he wasn’t actually going to die here, not like this. His team was probably already on the way, and they definitely would find him first.
So it wasn’t even worth giving up. He could just as well finish this.
And then go home.
Oh god I miss you.
The first deeper breath Fernando sucked in hurt like hell. He ignored it and blinked, forced his beaten body into submission, and saw her standing up there, three stories above him.
And her eyes widened in terror as she saw that he was still alive, and she opened her mouth and screamed.
Hastily he scrambled for his gun having clattered to the ground somewhere on his side, groaning in pain as every bone in his body protested the sudden move, the scream shrill and unearthly in his ears. He was just rolling back around and turning towards the stairs when the girl flickered into view right before him, and it was more a reflex than anything else that made him pull the trigger.
Salt shot into her and she disappeared into thin air, but Fernando knew she was still here, somewhere, gathering herself again. He had minutes, maybe even only seconds, so he forced himself up to his feet, clenching his teeth against the pain, breathing flatly and trying not to move his broken arm.
Just walking was easier, and so Fernando hurried back up the stairs as fast as he could, hearing doors clattering somewhere deep inside the house, a distant moan of old wood, a cold, cold breath of air blowing through the old rooms as she pieced herself back together. Fernando could feel his own heart hammering in his chest, blood rushing in his ears, and he prayed that he’d be up the stairs before she was back. Ghosts who were shocked out of their routine were even more unpredictable.
He had just reached the top of the stairs and taken two quick steps as something flickered right next to him in the air and he whirled around, almost losing grip of his gun as she charged at him, her young face contorted, scratching, screeching, almost making him stumble for a second time, but then his finger found the trigger again and another shot of salt blew her apart right before his eyes.
Not lingering for even a second Fernando limped to her room as quickly as he could, ignoring the aching in his body as he opened the door again. The doll sat on her bed, a spitting image of her former owner. He took a deep breath and grabbed her, threw her to the floor and then fished the lighter from the pocket of his jeans. His broken arm hung uselessly by his side as he opened it with a flick of his thumb, hands shaking from exertion and pain.
He could hear her voice like a faint echo, not having gathered herself again fully, somewhere between furious and pleading.
“No… no!”
The air next to him flickered.
Fernando didn’t listen, didn’t look, just squatted down and held the flame to the dry fabric of the doll’s dress, immediately setting it on fire, then stumbling back and sinking down to the ground against a wall, exhausted. His eyes were burning and starting to tear up, the small flames blurring just as the faint body of the girl, flickering like a memory as she knelt down and forlornly reached for her doll, flames licking at her own dress, her blood-stained hair.
Fernando closed his eyes and slid into darkness.
***
In one of the rooms of a large house a few miles away, right in the centre of the city, slow, absent-minded notes filled the silence like a string of ropy thoughts or the irregular dripping of a leaky water tap. Daniel wasn’t really paying attention to what his fingers on the black and white keys were doing, letting them put form to a backdrop for his thoughts.
How he hated that the simplest form of questions seemed so hard to him right now, to put him in front of this insuperable mountain.
Yes or No.
Wasn’t that hard, was it? He had always known what he wanted, had always been able to make these decisions in the blink of an eye, go through the thought process with quick efficiency. Now he thought… and thought… and thought.
He stopped playing and eyed the white sheet of paper lying on top of the polished wood, took the fountain pen and twirled it in his hand. It was ridiculous how hard this felt.
Just do it already or fucking walk away.
For a moment he put the tip of the fountain pen to the paper, stared at the blank space where his name would go.
Got up to his feet and crumbled the crisp paper in his hands to a small ball, threw it to the floor and walked away.
No matter how fantastic the offer, he couldn’t sell his piano.
Not yet.
***
With clinical touches the sling was taken away from his arm and the splint from his wrist, the limb moved scrutinisingly. Fernando endured it all with an unmoved expression.
“How does it feel?” Dr. Luengo wanted to know, not once looking up from where his gaze was fixed on Fernando’s upper arm.
Fernando rubbed at his wrist, relishing in being able to touch and scratch it. “Fine,” he replied monotonous as he stretched his arm some more, carefully at first, but after some moments he noticed that it really felt healed. “I think I’m ready for patrol again.”
“Shirt off,” was the only answer he got to that as the doctor took a step back.
Fernando had the urge to roll his eyes, but he knew any kind of protest would be a lost fight when it came to the doctor’s orders. He shrugged his shirt off and waited patiently while the doctor finished his examination, shivering at the cold touches of the fingers examining his ribs.
It had been almost a week since the incident with the ghost. Since all this shit with the Agurauk had started he hadn’t come this close to being killed, but Fernando supposed it had only been a matter of time, with the state he was in, briefly remembering Nate’s warning. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been strong and stable enough to resist that pull that had taken him to the balustrade.
He still remembered his thoughts in the moment he had lain on that floor, loud and clear, and the more he tried to forget them the louder they echoed in his mind.
Oh god I miss you.
Again and again. He just couldn’t stop them, like a broken record he couldn’t find the stop button for. So he tried to come to terms with it.
What if he did? It was only human, right? To not want to be alone, to miss the physical and mental presence of someone else, to… be close to someone. Wasn’t it some instinct or something? That didn’t mean he had to succumb to it.
How many of those past nights he had sat on his sofa, staring off into nothingness, thinking…
Maybe he should get out more again and look for someone to pass the time with.
Maybe that would put things into perspective again and he’d stop missing him.
… or not. It wasn’t like having Catalina around had changed anything.
“I’m inclined to agree,” Dr. Luengo finally said and broke him away from his frustrating musings. “It’ll take another one or maybe two days until everything’s fully alright, but if you insist on going out I wouldn’t raise any particularly loud objections from a medical point of view.”
Thank God, Fernando thought silently as he hopped down to the ground. Those last few days and nights he had spent too much time at home, too much time to think with all the time he hadn’t slept.
And it clearly wasn’t doing him good.
***
He felt the texture of the tree trunk dig into his back as he slumped against it to catch his breath, just for a short moment. He didn’t know why, but the vampires were very active tonight, maybe some weird stellar constellation or something. The last one just now, the one he had chased all the way into the park, had been a tough son of a bitch.
God he was so exhausted. His fingers caressed the lines running up and down the bark. Just for a moment. He let himself sink down on the ground and watched the shadows shift in the moonlight.
Maybe he could find some sleep tonight. But it was so late already. Or early. Couldn’t be more than a few minutes until the sky would start to show hints of dawn in the east.
A small, bitter laugh came over Fernando’s lips. Maybe he didn’t need the Agurauk’s help, maybe all this was already killing him. Maybe he’d just break down from exhaustion again some time soon. Maybe he’d be the first Hunter in the history not to die from having his throat slit or blood sucked dry or heart ripped out but just… fade.
“What are you doing here?”
His first internal reaction to the familiar voice somewhere to his right was to roll his eyes. Of course this happened. Not surprising at all. Fate just couldn’t leave him alone for one fucking night. His second reaction? He tried to ignore the strange tumble his heart made.
“God, can’t you just go away and leave me alone?” Fernando didn’t look up as he said it, in a way not feeling strong enough to face this confrontation.
There was silence for just a moment. “Wow. And here I thought that was my line these days. Also seeing as you’re the one practically sitting on my doorstep.”
Fernando laughed humourlessly, “Last time I checked this was a public park.” Then he slowly looked up and finally focused on Daniel.
It felt like a sudden blow to the stomach when he realised that it hurt, in a way he hadn't expected it to. Why did it hurt?
His features were almost indistinguishable in the shadows of the trees where he stood a few paces away, and it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Even harder than usual.
“It’s almost five in the morning. Don’t tell me you’re still hunting.”
“Does it look like I’m still hunting?” Fernando scowled, swallowing drily as Daniel took a step further in his direction, the moonlight suddenly illuminating the other man’s shape. Fuck, what did he do to deserve this? Fucking glowing pale skin.
A short, humourless laugh came over Daniel’s lips. “Well then what?”
“Resting,” Fernando replied blatantly.
For a short moment Fernando thought that Daniel looked like he wanted to rub a headache away. Then he sighed, incredulous, and turned to walk away.
There it was again. Daniel always managed to make him feel foolish and childish, and oh God how he hated it. He was an adult and a Hunter, not some immature kid.
“Oh sure, just go away and find some new food source and hey, maybe you’ll even fall in love again.”
Oh god, what was he doing?
At his words Daniel had gone rigid, and for a few loud heartbeats neither of them moved. Then he turned his head back around, his voice flat but brimming with something right under the surface.
“Say that again.”
Rationally Fernando knew he went too far this time, but he just couldn’t stop the words coming from his mouth as he angrily stood up and closed some distance between them. “You heard me. I bet it’s like a show you pull off. Get them addicted and then play the love card just in the right moment. Sorry it didn’t work with me.”
He didn’t even really see it happening, only felt the impact of the tree trunk his back was hurtled against, a hand with an iron grip on his throat, the pair of eyes staring into his own darker than he had ever seen them, the voice only a low growl.
“I know you have a destiny, and that it must have been all that was drilled into your head from the moment you opened your eyes, so it’s probably no wonder. But I swear to all the gods there are, you’re the most self-absorbed, immature, delusional brat I’ve ever seen.”
But some part of Fernando’s mind had already shut down, didn’t even hear the words spoken as his world narrowed down to the shockingly familiar sensation around his throat. Panic surged through him as he hastily wound his own fingers around the hand on his throat and tried to pull it away, but the grip didn’t loosen. “No,” he chocked, starting to lash out weakly and uncoordinated, hitting and pushing every part of Daniel he could reach, and something in those darkened green eyes cleared. The hand around his throat was drawn away and Daniel took a step back.
“What -”
Before he could voice even one more word of the question, he was hit so hard by Fernando’s trembling fist that his head was thrown around and he stumbled.
Fernando could only hear the blood rushing in his ears, caught in the memory of his dream, not thinking straight. “You bastard,” he ground out, clenching his trembling fingers as after a moment he continued to lash out at Daniel with his fists, weakly as the first shock wore off and left him shaking and drained. His breath was coming in rough gasps, and his body trembled so hard none of his attacks found its target as Daniel easily blocked every single one, a half stunned, half angry expression on his face.
“Fernando, what… stop…”
But he couldn’t, thoughts too jumbled, too irrational, you’re not supposed to do this, you can’t make me feel worse, you have to make me feel better, you always make me feel better… oh god please make it better…
And a strangled sound like a sob came over Fernando’s lips before he reached for him and pulled him close and kissed him.
Daniel’s surprised sound was swallowed almost entirely and he attempted to draw back, only managing to separate them long enough for an incredulous “What -” before Fernando was kissing him again, rationality too far gone, desperate.
The kiss was even fiercer than before, Fernando’s tongue forcing the lips under his own apart, sucking and biting, taking everything until they were both breathless and he let his hands travel down between their bodies onto Daniel’s hip and to the front of the other man’s jeans, impatiently fumbling with the buttons.
“Can you fucking make up your mind, you little -” was snarled against his lips but Fernando interrupted him with a hissed “Shut up!” and slid his hand into Daniel’s jeans.
There it was again, that darkness in his green eyes, rising as he growled, “Fine!” and grabbed Fernando’s wrists so hard it hurt, bending and forcing him back until he lost his balance and they fell hard to the grass below, lips descending on Fernando’s in an almost furious kiss.
Fernando shifted, gasping loudly into the lip-lock when he felt Daniel’s hardening erection press against his own and he automatically parted his legs, welcoming Daniel in the space between them as the pleasure sparking along his spine doubled. It was intoxicating, dangerous, thrilling, only making him want more. Just to take away the panic from before, to overwrite it with something else.
He let his hands run down Daniel’s back and into his jeans, touching the bare skin of his ass, pulling him tighter against him and Daniel’s mouth left his, latching onto the soft skin of his throat, sucking until it stung, wonderfully painful. Anchoring him.
Fernando cursed and arched, closing his eyes as the swaying dark shapes of the trees before the night sky above them made him dizzy. And then there were hands roughly grabbing his hips, Daniel’s body retreating, and before he even knew what was happening he was flipped over to his front.
He didn’t fight it and the next thing he became aware of was messy open mouthed licks and nips at the back of his neck, and then fingers. Fingers on his hips forcing him onto his hands and knees, then unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down just enough to expose his ass and upper thighs to the cool air. A hand was run down his inner thigh, spreading them as far as the fabric of his jeans around his knees allowed, and he shivered, from unthinking arousal and muted shame all rolled into one, dulled only by silent desperation. A tiny part of his still rational thinking knew that they had nothing but a mix of spit and precum, and fuck it hurt in a way he hadn’t experienced before, but he’d be damned if he ever lied about not wanting it.
He wasn’t given time to adjust, and he didn’t demand it, just bit his lip and let himself get lost in the stretching and burning and the first tiny shudders that racked his body as that spot inside of him was hit, and the pain-edged pleasure carried his mind away from everything else.
Fernando couldn’t help but arch into the thrusts, fucking back against Daniel, completely yielding his body and his mind to the other man. He took it all because he needed it, needed to feel the stinging stretch and the overwhelming pleasure that told him he was still alive, still breathing, still here. Just wanting to feel even more Fernando reached down with one hand to stroke his own forgotten erection, but the sudden change in balance and one particular hard thrust from Daniel sent them crashing down.
They both groaned but it didn’t stop the man on top of him from moving, taking just a second to adjust before resuming his powerful thrusts. And in the end Fernando didn’t need more. It hit him with undeniable force and robbed him of all control for a moment, and he came with a strangled shout and violent shudders wrecking his body, clawing at the grass as the incessant thrusts took him to almost painful over-stimulation. Only then did he feel Daniel tensing, stumbling in his rhythm, before he was finally done.
For a moment they just stayed like this, with Daniel’s breath hot against his neck and the scent of grass in his nose. Then Daniel slowly slipped out of him and he couldn’t help a small whimper escaping him, clenching his fingers in the grass at the almost painful sensation of loss and emptiness. The weight vanished from his back and then there was silence between them, just their rapid breathing and the barely audible breeze in the trees above. And after a few more heartbeats Fernando felt eyes on him, studying. Waiting.
And he knew that Daniel was waiting for him, a reaction, maybe some words, an indication how he was, and he understood, really he did, but he just couldn’t. Shame maybe, or uncertainty. But what could he say? That he hadn’t had wanted it? No. Because everything in him had, in fact, wanted it, and obviously this hadn’t been about feeding or about losing some energy, because Daniel hadn’t fed from him tonight, not even a little taste and he wouldn’t even have wanted it any other way. Fernando swallowed dryly, pressing his eyes shut, shuddering softly.
But he couldn’t say that either. Not even to himself, not anymore.
So the silence remained, and in the end there was rustling of clothes, another short pause, and then steps on the grass. Walking away.
Long after Daniel was gone Fernando slowly reached for his black jeans, drawing them back up over his hips and turned onto his back. And like that, breathing unsteady, head empty, gaze on the sky above him, he remained until the darkest shade of blue slowly gave way to a rising morning.
***
Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
I said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now
I guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all
~ Lady Antebellum ~
~ TBC in Chapter 13 ~