Family Affairs (4/12)
Title: Family Affairs
Chapters: 4/12 ( 1 | 2 | 3 )
Authors: jumping_down & narya86
Pairing: Daniel Agger/Fernando Torres
Rating: R (for now)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction, we don’t own the boys.
Summary: Fernando’s gaze involuntarily flickered up to where, right across from the table, the largest source of his irritation was sitting. His soon-to-be stepbrother.
A/N: This is an adaptation of narya86’s AU prompt, Contradiction. Warnings as usual.
Chapter 4
Dan knew that Martin could be a persistent, unrelenting bastard if something just kept his interest long enough. And if that included rubbing salt into one’s wounds, then so be it. Because of that fact Dan had not been keen on phoning him again, hoping against the odds that his friend would just forget about their last call. In vain. Of course.
It was two days before their holidays in the Swiss mountains ended, evening to be exact, when Dan’s mobile rang. With furrowed eyebrows he reached over to the coffee table from where he was lounging on the sofa, having channel-hopped through countless stations of their TV in the living room - without succeeding in finding anything decent to watch, mind you - to find Martin’s name glaring at him from the display.
That was probably his tenth call in the space of an hour. Dan was already going to throw the phone back on the table when Fernando screamed from the kitchen, “Just answer your goddamned phone, Daniel! If I have to hear that fucking ringtone again, I swear to god, I will -”
“Fuck off!” Dan yelled in retaliation, but he grabbed his phone begrudgingly nonetheless.
“What?” he demanded over the phone. He was already annoyed at Martin’s nagging as it was, but Fernando being a brat wasn’t helping, so maybe Dan was a little more testy than the Slovak deserved.
“Finally, I was already doubting if you had the guts to pick up ever again,” the amused, almost taunting voice of his friend answered him immediately. “How’s the weather up in the mountains?”
Dan relaxed a bit. He could talk about the weather. Definitely. “The snow is starting to dwindle but it’s cold enough so that the slopes are still good.”
For a moment his friend was silent on the other end of the line before, “Dan. You’re really too thick to read between the lines, aren’t you?”
Dan laughed weakly. “What lines?”
Martin mumbled something he didn’t quite catch before replying, “What, apart from your incestuous tendencies, could I possibly have talked about? If I really wanted to know how the weather was in Swiss, I’d look it up on the internet.”
“I will have you know that my inces-” then Dan dropped his tone after realising Fernando was just in the next room, “my incestuous tendencies are doing quite well.”
“Oh, do tell.”
Dan scoffed haughtily. “Well, we went out last night.”
“… and? Come on, don’t make me drag every word out of you.”
“I… I don’t kiss and tell?”
“Right. So I’m about to win my bet.”
“No!” Dan exploded a little too loudly, he briefly heard Fernando stop in his routine of washing the dishes to listen out for what was happening with a curious gaze.
“You still remember that our bet didn’t consist of kissing, right?” the voice in his ear brought his attention back to the conversation at hand.
Dan couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his tone. “It’d be good if we actually got some kissing done.”
There was an amused snort before Martin said, “Okay, even though it might be humiliating for you, don’t you wanna tell me what’s going on with the two of you over there?”
Dan groaned as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. How was he going to say this?
“Look, don’t laugh at me, okay?”
“Too late. But go right ahead.”
“I’m just… I’m just really sure that I think we had sex.” Dan blathered unsurely, as if he couldn’t convince even himself.
And non-surprisingly, there was a short, bemused silence. “You’re really sure that you think?”
“Yes. I’m glad you caught that.”
“And what makes you only think and not know?”
“About a dozen rounds of beer, a bottle of Absolut, some champagne, then Bacardi, oh, and we sparked a couple sticks of spliff, there were jell-o shots, body shots, tequila shots, I think, but I lost count of those,” Dan recited best he could but he could only trail off in the end.
“Now that’s impressive. Point is, you were too drunk to remember?”
“I remember! Parts.”
“Fuck, Dan, can you stop beating around the bush and just spill the beans already?!” Martin yelled now, his patience obviously wearing thin.
“Look, I can just see it in my head. Like, kissing him and touching him and god, fucking him - it’s not clear but it’s too vivid to be something I just imagined. I could see his face, his skin, his body.”
Dan sighed, heavy with longing and withheld desire.
“And let me guess - Fernando’s denying it?”
“He’s acting like nothing happened. Which is just seriously throwing me off - I don’t know if he’s just pretending or…”
“Not wanting to burst your bubble here, but he’s probably not,” Martin said even without sounding gleeful. “If you were so drunk that you have trouble remembering stuff, then you probably couldn’t get it up anyway.”
Dan gasped. “Excuse me but I can get it up!” he yelled loudly.
There was some clatter of plates from inside the kitchen, and as Dan looked in Fernando’s direction he saw the blond staring at him incredulously. “Who the hell are you talking to?”
Dan waved him off irritably. “Go back to your chores, Cinderella.”
“Fuck you too. And whatever it was you were talking about,” Fernando fumed back at him, “you most likely couldn’t get it up.”
Dan didn’t bother pressing his phone against his shoulder - he wanted Martin to hear this.
“Oh, I can get it up. You would know, I’m sure.” Dan smiled deviously.
“Are you still talking about your wet dreams?” Fernando threw back over his shoulder at him, already having turned back to the counter. “Grow up already.”
Oh, that was it. Dan marched up to Fernando, and placed his hands heavily on the Spaniard’s shoulders. He felt the boy jump in shock under his touch.
“I’m not talking about wet dreams or your little foray into jacking-off in the Jacuzzi either. I’m talking about that night we went out,” he said tauntingly.
The shoulders under his hands were tense before Fernando made a move to shrug them off. “What about it?”
Dan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know - I was kinda… indisposed for most of the time. Why don’t you help me out? Jog my memory a little bit?”
“You’re on the phone already,” Fernando reminded him as he cleared the last of the dishes away without insomuch as looking at him. “I’m not talking to you until you hang up.”
Dan smiled as he brought his mobile back to his ear. “Martin, did you hear that?”
“Every word,” his friend snickered. “But before you cut me off to try your luck with Cinderella again, I just want to state that one way or another, you lost your bet.”
“You heard the boss, Martin,” Dan said, winking at Fernando. But as his stepbrother turned around to hang up the dishtowel, Dan whispered quickly, “Hang tight.”
When he turned back to Fernando, he was still pointedly ignoring him, but from every of his moves, Dan - who could be aware of his surroundings if he just wanted to - could see how tense he still was, like a drawn bow ready to be either be released, or break.
“Why are you so tense?” Dan whispered, coming closer to him again and reaching out to massage Fernando’s shoulders, and the blond flinched slightly at first. But after another second he sighed and relaxed just a little.
“I’m not, okay?”
Dan experimentally drew up his fingers, first to knead at the flesh of Fernando’s nape then combing his fingers through the ends of where Fernando’s hair was now growing too long and curling above his collar, and then slowly caressing the skin lightly.
“What… what are you doing?” the blond protested, even though it sounded a little half-heartedly.
“Your hair’s getting too long,” Dan murmured absentmindedly, not really stopping - Fernando wasn’t making him stop.
“I was going to cut it when we get home.” He really wasn’t imagining this, Fernando’s shoulders were still tense. But he wasn’t moving away either.
He dug his fingers into the hunched shoulder blades in Fernando’s back, working at the knots, and Fernando’s breath hitched loudly.
“You’re still stressed,” Dan took the risk and nuzzled his nose in Fernando’s mop of blond hair. “Easy there.”
And as his fingers kneaded another knot, a brief sound spilled from Fernando’s lips - and damn it, that sounded close to those held-back moans he kept remembering. Or just thinking he did so.
“… okay… I think I lied. Ouch.”
Dan rolled his eyes. Trust Nando to be completely asexual about this. He placed his hands on Fernando’s hips and twirled him around - “So, what were you going to tell me?”
The Spaniard, very obviously taken by surprise, stared at him wide-eyed. “What?”
Dan just stared at him expectantly.
As if he only now became aware of their close proximity, Fernando tried to shift Dan away from him. “I wasn’t going to tell you anything. You were right, I must have slept in a wrong position last night or something.”
And that really got to Dan. He grabbed Fernando tightly by his forearms. “No, you were going to tell me about that night we went out. Remember?”
“Are you insane?! Let go of me,” the blond tried to wriggle out of the grip. “We already talked about this!”
“No, we haven’t,” Dan said, gritting his teeth and caging Fernando even more. “I don’t understand why you’re being so dismissive.”
“I’m not being dismissive, you’re being insufferable about nothing!”
“Why are you being violent?” Dan smiled.
Now Fernando actually stopped struggling to stare at Dan in disbelief. “Excuse me? You’re the one who’s got a vice-like grip on my arms.”
Dan loosened his grip but didn’t let him go. “You’re the one who started thrashing first.”
In return Fernando closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Because I don’t have a clue what it is that you’re so keen on talking about.”
Dan frowned at the determination on Fernando’s features.
“Fine,” he said, stepping back and letting Fernando go. He picked his phone up from the counter and left the kitchen without another word nor a backward glance, even though he just knew the dumbstruck look Fernando would be sporting right now.
Dan waited until he was well out of earshot before he raised his mobile back to his ear. And he could already hear Martin laughing.
“Oh God, you’re like Rhett and Scarlett. Or Han and Leia. Or…”
“Who the fuck are Rhett and Scarlett??”
That only prompted Martin to laugh harder.
***
The low drone of the engines was the only sound on the plane that was just crossing the Atlantic Ocean, carried on the winds far above the sea, a tiny dot before the night sky between countless of stars.
Fernando had adjusted his comfortable business class seat so that he was lying almost horizontally, the thin blue blanket covering him, his head lying on the small pillow that had already been on their seats when they had boarded. The lights were mostly dimmed as almost every passenger had decided to catch some sleep, including all those around them. And even though he had wanted to do the same, Fernando had been too restless until now.
He sneaked another glance over at Dan who was in the seat next to him.
Dan had ignored him throughout the entire flight - only once had he talked to him, and that was just to say ‘excuse me’ but that didn’t really count because the Dane had already been half-climbing over Fernando’s legs to get to the bathroom.
The blond sighed a little. During that whole week, there had been certain moments where Dan had started to sulk and wouldn’t talk to him, but those had been brief. Sooner rather than later had he gone back to either arguing or trying to flirt with him - which could both be irritating enough, but right now Fernando was just bored to death. And he didn’t like being ignored.
He adjusted his position until he was lying on his side, cheek resting against the pillow, and he could study his stepbrother for a moment before quietly asking, “Dan?”
Dan sighed and glanced at him irritably, still not speaking up.
“When did you move away from Denmark?”
Dan’s face softened in mild surprise at the question.
“When I was around twelve, I think. Dad said most of his businesses got transferred to the States, but I think it’s because Copenhagen reminded him too much of Mum,” he answered with a shrug, averting his gaze - he didn’t answer this question often.
“What about you?” Fernando asked, keeping the conversation a low murmur as to not wake up the other passengers. “Do you miss her?”
Dan shifted uneasily in his seat, and for a moment Fernando regretted his question. He had only really begun talking to Dan to pass time (or to gain his attention again). But now, he felt he sincerely wanted to know.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to…” Fernando began but Dan cut him off with a soft sigh, answering, “I… I don’t know.” He sighed softly. “Maybe. Yes.”
Fernando felt his eyes widen at the - what was the word for it? - vulnerability in Dan’s tone. Dan half-snickered to himself before answering more steadily, “I haven’t seen her since we left Denmark years ago.”
Fernando really thought about if he should continue with his questions, but Dan hadn’t told him so much about himself since that fight they’d had in the ski lift. It was a decent conversation, and he didn’t want to stop.
“Why didn’t you stay with her?”
Dan took a longer time to answer this. He reached out and played with the sleeve of Fernando’s striped cardigan, smiling to himself as he jogged back his memories.
“Actually, my mom is kind of like Flori. She’s very nurturing, very motherly.” He glanced at his stepbrother to make sure he was fine with the comparison. “But you know, I was a teenager and I wanted my own life. I loved that my dad was never home, let me do whatever I wanted.”
Fernando saw Dan’s forehead furrow deeply as he continued. “She asked me to stay with her, and I said no. I flew with dad to New York and… And I guess you could say it’s also my fault we never talked anymore.”
“Oh.” It was all Fernando could think of for the moment, but seeing that look on Dan’s face made his heart hurt a little for him. And despite what he had thrown at his stepbrother two weeks ago, he suddenly felt the urge to reach out and comfort him somehow, because just now he looked like a little boy, and to hug him or draw a hand through his hair would just be what an older brother would do.
Wasn’t it?
Still he swallowed down the urge - Dan would probably punch him or something if he acted like he was a little boy - and just touched his shoulder briefly.
“It’s never too late for that though.”
Dan smiled faintly, then just shook it - the mopey atmosphere, Fernando’s hand on his shoulder, the topic altogether - all off. “I don’t think about it anymore,” he dismissed.
After a moment Fernando withdrew his hand, curling back up on himself and lowering his gaze to the armrest of his seat. The sudden change in the mood had left a sinking feeling of disappointment in him.
“Okay then…” he trailed off, not daring to ask more.
Dan coughed. “So, uh, did you enjoy Switzerland?”
He started playing with the hem of his blanket so he didn’t have to look at his stepbrother. But the corners of his mouth still twitched weakly as he replied. “… I didn’t throw myself off the mountain, did I?”
Dan laughed. “I didn’t throw you off the mountain either, so we must have done something right.”
“Miracles do happen, I’ve been told,” Fernando grinned, only now raising his eyes again. It was true though, in some ways, they had gotten along - even though he’d still describe their holidays as overall uncomfortable. With a few exceptions.
Dan just laughed harder. He gazed at Fernando with more openness now. “You should go to sleep if you want to avoid jet lag.”
“I guess I should. What about you?” the blond yawned, cuddling into his pillow. Now that Dan had talked to him again, he really was more at ease, for some very strange reason.
“I’ll doze off in a while. Just ride off that last can of Coke I shouldn’t have chugged down an hour ago,” Dan kidded lightly, letting Fernando settle under his blankets again.
With a small smile the blond closed his eyes, ready for some short hours of sleep now. He listened to the ever-persistent drone of the plane and Dan’s occasional shifting his position, letting himself be lulled in by the steady sounds.
His thoughts trailed off, remembering some parts of their holiday, of spending time with his mother and Marcus, of sitting in front of the fireplace at night, of the Jacuzzi and the narrow alleys of Zermatt, the snow glinting on the mountaintops, of watching Dan on his snowboard and skiing down the slopes. The more he drifted off towards sleep, the more blurred and mixed his thoughts became. He remembered his father, how he had learned how to ski when he was ten… no, five, how did that thought get in? There was something else he had wanted to tell Xabi and Sergio about…
He remembered rolling around in knee-deep snow, laughing and then… no, that didn’t fit. He’d never been kissed in the snow.
But it was warm and gentle, and reminded him of something else, even though it tasted unfamiliar…
Fernando stirred - his eyes were still heavy and just the slightest bit struggling to open, and what little he could see was blurry. The sounds were still muted around him and he didn’t know if he was just dreaming or the plane had just gone really quiet or he had gotten used to the sound of the engine running or Daniel’s constant tossing and turning.
Wait. Daniel?
That idea just faintly ebbed in his mind, almost a stark contrast to the pressure on his lips. He couldn’t connect the two, not now, not in this state, not when that kind of felt soft and good and he was pushing right back at it.
Fernando was definitely waking now and Dan - if that was Dan - was drifting away. In as quick as Fernando could push open his drooping eyelids, Daniel was already back in his reclined seat as unperturbed as ever. He was propped up on one elbow, turned to his side facing Fernando. He made no effort to hide his playful smirk as Fernando just stared at him, wide-eyed and dumbstruck.
Fuck. Fuck.
Dan had not just kissed him.
Fernando’s muddled mind was in no state to process his thoughts quickly enough, so he could just stare at him for another few moments, his heart wanting to beat out of his chest.
Dan just grinned even wider, then asked ever nonchalantly, “Still up?”
Oh God. He had.
“Why did you do that?” Fernando could only ask weakly, his chest tightening.
Dan pretended to frown. “Do what?”
Okay, so Fernando obviously wasn’t the only one who could play the oblivious card. He struggled to get out from underneath his blanket, feeling like if he wouldn’t get away now, he’d panic, and as he had untangled himself he hurried down the narrow corridor between the seats until he had reached the toilet and closed the door securely behind him.
Fernando closed his eyes and leaned against the door, breathing deeply. His throat was dry, his heart still beating heavily, and he knew that he wouldn’t dare to leave the enclosed space for quite a while.
In his head curses were running in endless circles but, if he was honest with himself, it wasn’t the fact that Dan had kissed him while he had almost been asleep that somehow terrified him.
It was the fact that, instinctively, he had kissed him back.
~ TBC in Chapter 5~