Forgot one
I am a big fan of SakuraXLee. Okay, so I just like any pairing with Lee in it. I get so excited when I see a story for the pairing, but I'm always disappointed. It seems like all SakuLee stories go like this:
See Sakura. See Sasuke and Naruto. See Sasuke and Naruto kiss. See Sakura's jaw drop. See Lee. See Sakura decide Lee is the next best thing. See Lee not care that he's only chosen because Sasuke is playing for the other team. See Sakura and Lee fuck like crazed weasels 2 pages later.
I obviously have issues with this.
Issue 1 - Why does Sasuke always have to be gay?
First off, I love slash, so the issue is not with having a gay character. The issue I have is with the ONLY reason authors seem to have for Sakura to love Lee is to have Sasuke be madly in love with Naruto. This makes Sakura amazing one dimensional.
I would love to see Sakura make a conscious decision to pursue Lee for other reasons. Like, for example, the fact that Sasuke has been nothing but a mean, rude, selfish SOB to her. Maybe she decides that Sasuke just can't be in a relationship until he gets his revenge. Or maybe she decides that his obsession with revenge scares her. Perhaps she finds he hasn't changed after he got his revenge. Anything.
If the "Sasuke is gay and can't return her affections" is brought in as well, that's all fine and good. But having it be the only reason just makes Sakura seem rather shallow.
Issue 2 - Lee is never upset that the only reason he was chosen was because Sasuke was gay
Sure Lee would be overjoyed that Sakura-san was loving him, but don't you think that he might be just a little hurt that Sasuke's bout of tonsil hockey with Naruto was the only reason Sakura changed her mind. Personally, I would be rather pissed that I was the "next best thing" and only chosen because the top choice was more interested in what kind of underpants Naruto was wearing.
But, of course, Lee never thinks about any of this. Lee may be enamored with Sakura, but the kid isn't stupid or unfeeling.
Issue 3 - Relationship proceeds at the speed of light
Lee and Sakura have just gotten together 2 pages ago, why did Sakura just toss Lee down to ride like a quarter pony? Must they fuck on the first night?
Lee doesn't strike me as the kind to jump into bed. Maybe this is just my vision of him, but he seems a bit more naive. Not to mention the fact that a good majority of couples don't take their relationships from "Hey, I finally realized I like you" to "OHMYGODFUCKMENOWOOOOOHBABY!" in minutes/hours/days. Some do, but they're usually not the cautious types.
It also creeps me the fuck out when it's pre-time skip SakuLee and they're what? 12-14? When I was that young I wasn't asexual, but I wasn't humping people's legs either. Sure its a squick for me to see really underaged sex, but I'm talking more about the idea of two young ones just casually bumping uglies like that. Can't they wait a few weeks at least?
I'm all up for of age SakuLee smutfests, but let's give them some time people.
Issue 4 - All that and you've also managed to sodomize Gai-sensei with the wrong end of the clue hammer
We've said it before, we'll say it again: While Gai is used as comic relief in the show on occasion, he is also used for dramatic purposes. You too can use the character both ways.
Gai is not stupid. He's silly, dramatic and weird, but he's not an idiot. Stop making him one just so you can use him for probably unneccessary comic relief.
Gai is at least 26 years old depending on when your story takes place. He is not going to bust in on Lee buried pubic-hair deep in Sakura because he thinks Lee is being brutally murdered. He may knock on the door and ask if everything's alright or make a comment, but he's not idiotic enough not to know what the squeaky bed and moaning means.
A better use of Gai as comic relief would be him teasing the two. Or bitching to Kakashi about them keeping him up. Maybe he could embarrass Lee the next morning by giving him a box of condoms. Hell, just the usual Gai gushing over Lee would be enough amusement for most people. Anything but making Gai an complete moron.
Gai can ALSO appear earlier in the story. The man knows everything about Lee. He actually occasionally spies on him. Don't you think he'd notice that his pet student was head over heels? Wouldn't Lee say something to his idol?
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Alright, I'm done. Does anyone have a tissue, I seem to have made a mess of myself and Gai-sensei ain't here to clean me up.