[Thread] Not Your Afternoon Tea [Aki, Kureno, Rin, Tsurude]

[yuuhi_kureno]

[[OOC: Following immediately after this thread.]]Kureno knew Rin had told him he needed to take it easy on his mind and body, mainly in giving them proper nutrition and rest. The nutrition part was easy, but not so much the resting. Taking more breaks during work hours was difficult, but so far Kureno felt he’d been doing a good job. He even

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[konoha_fifth]

Tsurude froze as soon as he saw the three women sasshaying their way over. It wasn't because they were beautiful or scantily clad. In fact, most normal men would probably be extremely happy to see something like that. The problem was, Tsurude was not a normal. He was the leader of the entire freaking village. He was Hokage.

And the Hokage had just walked into a brothel.

Holy shit, the Elder Council was going to castrate him when they found out. If he was really unlucky they'd just kill him out right and then he'd get to spend the afterlife trying to explain to Shodaime, Nidaime and Sandaime exactly what the hell he had been doing here.

An eternity of nagging....

He put down the sake cup and cleared his throat. "Ah, I think... perhaps Kureno-san was right about drinking so early," he mustered, putting a hand sheepishly to the back of his head.

But his hand didn't land on his head. It landed on something very soft. Two somethings that were very soft. Which illicted a giggle and playful smack from behind him.

Okay... an eternity of nagging and beatings it was then.

[dango_is_love]

Aki perked up when he saw the girls.

And then burst into laughter at their obviously enthusiastic greeting of Rin. The purple haired man leaned against the back of his seat still laughing heartily. It was just a very funny picture, seeing all those girls cooing at the quiet medic. Not to mention blackmail...

Aki paused in his laughter and looked at the three girls. He seemed to almost be coming up with some sort of deep, important thought, when he caught where the Hokage's hand had "landed".

...Oh hell with it. They were probably all in trouble by now. Izume, he was pretty sure, wouldn't appreciate all this. Bother. Although to be fair, Aki had forgotten about this part of the bar. He frequented so many and not all of them soberly.

[yuuhi_kureno]

Sure, now he was right after they were all in trouble. Perhaps it wasn't too late to create a pact to never speak of this ever again and keep this from reaching outside gossip.

...Which was kind of too bad though. The look on Kakami's face would have been priceless.

There were so many things to say at this moment. Something along the lines of "I told you so" to Hokage and a slew of teasing lines to throw at Rin involving phrases like "playing doctor", "physical", and "I bet Kakami would like to meet your friends".

But speaking presented the risk of having attention drawn to him and moving...well, Tsurude-sama had demonstrated what a mistake moving could be. This would have been an excellent time to put his genjutsu mastery to use and simply disappear, but Kureno was fairly sure there was some rule or law about abandoning the Hokage, even in situations like these. So instead of bolting like his instincts told him to, Kureno did what he was next best at.

He stayed very still and very quiet.

[medical_miracle]

If only Rin could adopt Kureno's tactic. Or kick Aki under the table for laughing. Or slam his palm over his face at Tsurude's wandering hands. As it was he had his hands full trying his utmost to squirm out the grip of the busty blonde affectionately doodling interesting patterns on his chest with her delicately manicured fingers.

Baaaad touchies. Oh no. This was not with the good.

"Uhm, no... stop it, need those buttons buttoned kay thanks, Kimi-san," he coughed, gently but firmly removing her hands best he could. Not easy. Not easy.

"So shy, Rin-sensei~!" she sing-songed ruffling his hair. "You know since you took such good care of us we'd love to do the same for you~~"

"Ahem, n-no... don't need any taking care of, thanks," he muttered, pretty sure he was blushing brighter than any of the bar's lamps. Oh god. He could normally do fine with all of this (he was a doctor after all, and he knew everybody, and hey, their job was their job - or so he told himself) but damnit he was a something-or-othered man now and... oh god, Kakami...

Think of the devil, Kimi, ever the tactile one, picked up on his tone and tugged curiously on the collar of his uniform turtleneck, peering at the side of Rin's neck.

"Oh, I can see that~" she murmurred in his ear, smirking at him as Rin tried his damndest to just die on the spot. "Well since you're off limits honey, what about your friends?"

[konoha_fifth]

Tsurude had been in more battles then all the people at the table had been in combined. He was a master tactician, an excellent leader, a medic without par. He had one sure win tactic in mind. One clear way to escape this and possibly maintain his integrity as Hokage.

"Limits!" Tsurude seized upon, slowly starting to slink down in his chair. "Limits are very good, very important, very much in place with everyone here." He started to sink further, slowly, slowly. "Everyone here is off limits, completely uninteresting, totally boring, no sex appeal at all..." His nose brushed against the edge of the table.

Okay, time to let go of the breast, man. It hasn't been that long.

...

More important things now. The Plan. The great PLAN. He dipped under the table and crossed under it, hands moving in rapid succession, boar snake boar dog dog horse... And then slowly he started standing on the other side. "Really just a bunch of celibate or whipped men. And poor! DIRT poor. Well... everyone except him."

Tsurude pointed at Kureno and all the female attention turned to him, eyes opening wide as they realized they had only one viable target.

At that exact moment, Tsurude turned on his heel and booked it. Horse, the final hand sign completed as he exited the door. And then his genjutsu shifted from Hokage to very old man, tottering down the road.

Tsurude survives again.

[yuuhi_kureno]

"........................................."

During a three-second silence, which was made very heavy with the sudden surge of three predatory auras, Kureno's mind decided that: yes, Tsurude-sama had just done that; no, murdering the Hokage was never the right answer; yes, I should stop thinking now and RUN.

It was every man for himself right now as far as Kureno was concerned. Time to make with that genjutsu master thing he was thinking about earlier and vanish into thin air--literally. And with some swift handseals of his own, Kureno did just that right before the brunette could pour herself over his chair.

Rin and Aki would survive. ...Most likely.

[dango_is_love]

Aki abruptly stopped laughing and straightened at Tsurude's words. His eyes got wide with Kureno's quick escape.

Just him and Rin. Aki didn't know, but he was pretty sure that somehow Kakami would figure out a way to blame him if something went wrong.

...And he really wanted to live to see his first date.

Rin's arm was grabbed, he was jerked up, and Aki instantly started moving and fast. All those years of ducking out of bills had really helped improve his speed.

[medical_miracle]

Apparently Rin was always going to be someone who needed rescued. From the enemy, from himself, from tumble-dryers, from his co-workers, from amourous and playful prostitutes, from life in general.

As he was yanked by the wrist out his seat, out Kimi's grasp and out the door - Rin found himself spectacularly grateful that it was Aki rescuing him this time and not Asuka or Kakami. Especially not Kakami.

He didn't think she'd find this as funny as Kureno and Aki did. He also didn't think he wanted to explain. As he and Aki gave each other one look, and then split for parts unknown to the other, Rin reflected that this was probably not the way to spend his days leading up to ensconcment in the village's most important holy site.

He also reflected that he was NEVER following Tsurude on a half-assed drinking expedition again.

________________

Meanwhile, back in the Zelkova...

Kimi and her companions smiled to each other with their prettily painted lips and skipped right into the abandoned seats of the ninja boys. With a bubbling giggle of pure congratulatory glee, the brunette, Keiko, lifted a hand for the bar staff and winked at her compatriots.

"Three new glasses for this sadly abandoned and very high class sake, please~"

And with that the trio knocked treated themselves to the Hokage's choice of alcohol... and that way at least somebody got a drink.