(no subject)
R.I.P. JACK
last night I went to the club. I was in an odd mood. like i was in a hurry and felt very rushed. I get there and my brother offers to buy me a drink. We walk over to the back bar to everyones favorite bartender, Jack, only to see he was not there. I asked if he was working tonight or not, and then bam. I get hit with the news he passed away last week. I stood there with my jaw dropped and in shock. Jack was the biggest sweetheart. the whole night from then on was odd, I danced a lot, didn't socialize much though there was a ton of people i knew, and got my bf mad at me. Fixed the situation on ly to feel odd about things in my life at that moment.
i've never really dealt with death much. most I've encountered have been people I never really knew or even spoke to ever. And though Jack was a pure social club aquaintance, It had been a mainstay in my life, Jacl would always be there, we'd always joke around and have fun. And for the first time I had death put in my face.
Frightening me about my own mortality. i feel the need to get healthy. To stop doing all this bullshit, and try to fix myself up. I can no longer not care and end up in an early grave.