i dont know what im going to do
i hate this so much.
yesterday:
school (suuucks, but our presentation kicked ass)
drivers ed (only two more classes left!)
dance (almost rectial time :P)
alis house (mucho fun. jim came over and we had a great time together as always.)
today:
woken up by ali and lindsy squirting me with the watergun
tried to kill our assassin victims-- but failed
the whole day in school was a blur
came home... then spent the rest of the day with the girls.
noww- i decided to come home because i really need some sleep and im having a bit of an emotional breakdown.
my mom just told me that she feels like she doesnt no me anymore. i dont think she ever knew me. i hate her and i hate this home and i want to leave forever. im not who she wants me to be and i cant live by her rules. shes decided that im out of control, doing drugs, staying out too late, emotionally unstable, disrepsectful, unhealthy... i cant even keep going bc it hurts too much to think that my own mother sees me this way. i dont know what im going to do.
whats going on with me?
im going to be finishing the year off-- focused on school and doing what i need to do
i scheduled my road test and ill be getting my liscense (hopefully) in june.
i have the best friends in the whole world who i spend alot of my time with
im struggling to keep a healthy state of mind and physical well- being... i think im doing really well.
my new relationship has brought with it such a new perspective on the world. im blessed.
what is going on at home?
my phone was canceled
im being drug tested
im cursed at, repremanded, and given ultimatums every second my mom gets to talk to me
im not being given a cent-- literally. i needed a bottle of water the other day for dance class, and my mom wouldnt give me a dollar to get it.
i hate this... am i not seeing things the way they are or something? am i really a mess up like she thinks? what am i doing to do- all i no is i cant live like this. i need to leave here. and what i hate most is that im not understood. like i just begged her to talk to me. to sit down and just figure this shit all out. and she wont. so i sit here in tears at 11 on a friday night typing in a journal bc i cant even be civil with my own parent. IM LEAVING. and when i dont come back... i hope shes sorry.
yesterday:
school (suuucks, but our presentation kicked ass)
drivers ed (only two more classes left!)
dance (almost rectial time :P)
alis house (mucho fun. jim came over and we had a great time together as always.)
today:
woken up by ali and lindsy squirting me with the watergun
tried to kill our assassin victims-- but failed
the whole day in school was a blur
came home... then spent the rest of the day with the girls.
noww- i decided to come home because i really need some sleep and im having a bit of an emotional breakdown.
my mom just told me that she feels like she doesnt no me anymore. i dont think she ever knew me. i hate her and i hate this home and i want to leave forever. im not who she wants me to be and i cant live by her rules. shes decided that im out of control, doing drugs, staying out too late, emotionally unstable, disrepsectful, unhealthy... i cant even keep going bc it hurts too much to think that my own mother sees me this way. i dont know what im going to do.
whats going on with me?
im going to be finishing the year off-- focused on school and doing what i need to do
i scheduled my road test and ill be getting my liscense (hopefully) in june.
i have the best friends in the whole world who i spend alot of my time with
im struggling to keep a healthy state of mind and physical well- being... i think im doing really well.
my new relationship has brought with it such a new perspective on the world. im blessed.
what is going on at home?
my phone was canceled
im being drug tested
im cursed at, repremanded, and given ultimatums every second my mom gets to talk to me
im not being given a cent-- literally. i needed a bottle of water the other day for dance class, and my mom wouldnt give me a dollar to get it.
i hate this... am i not seeing things the way they are or something? am i really a mess up like she thinks? what am i doing to do- all i no is i cant live like this. i need to leave here. and what i hate most is that im not understood. like i just begged her to talk to me. to sit down and just figure this shit all out. and she wont. so i sit here in tears at 11 on a friday night typing in a journal bc i cant even be civil with my own parent. IM LEAVING. and when i dont come back... i hope shes sorry.