(no subject)
This is a very good day. I am very much at peace and full of calmth. I owe this especially to Jelena, my good friend and hopefully, soon, new girlfriend. We're already in love, but we're both trying to be cautious and not make promises of which we can't be certain. But I am starting to see something precious in this relationship. With her, I can be like I really am, I needn't be afraid of my insecurities and weaknesses. And knowing that I am accepted like that, makes it easier to work on my insecurities and weaknesses, they go away much easier than when I present them to an unaccepting person. The thing is, I do have fears of rejection. The way Indira treated me, these fears were reinforced all the time. I was desperately needing trust, both trust given and trust received, and I got none from her, and could never really be assured in developing trust in her. But with Jelly .. there's a world between that old love to Indira and my new love for Jelly. There's so much more sincerity, so much more care, so much more desire to please the other, to help him or her through a difficult moment, to envelop each other in love, to supplement each other. I am simply safe with Jelly, our love is such that it can grow, that love itself can feel safe and sees no reason to leave us in a scare of what we want to do with it.
Thank you, Father, for giving me this wonderful girlfriend. Please take care of my old girlfriend Indira so that she doesn't perish in life. But please bless the love and the relationship I have with Jelena, and lead us both into marriage.
Thank you, Father, for giving me this wonderful girlfriend. Please take care of my old girlfriend Indira so that she doesn't perish in life. But please bless the love and the relationship I have with Jelena, and lead us both into marriage.