The Price of Happiness
Fandom: Tsubasa
Rating: PG for mentions of blood.
Pairings: Tomoyo/Sakura, hints of Kurogane/Fay.
Warning: Spoilers up to chapter 168. Slight AU, because I was struck by a plot-bunny that wouldn't go away until I wrote this.
Summary: Sakura's future is her greatest concern.
She has always been happiest seeing the happiness of others.
The future bears many cruelties; always has. Tomoyo has seen them all, watched the painful lives of the ones she loves beforehand, knowing that she eventually will have all her visions come into fruition, but she never tries to avoid them. Pain is necessary for growth, and happiness tastes so much sweeter when it has been fought for.
No, Tomoyo does not wish for those precious to her to never experience sorrow, but she always asks herself: how will it end? She cannot bear an unhappy ending, because then, all the pain along the way would be in vain.
One of the first visions she can remember is that of a child whose future is washed away in blood. She knew she could not prevent his pain and she never tried to, but nevertheless she took action - all for the sake of saving that future and hope for a happy ending for that boy. So she took him under her wing, soothed his grief best she could and dared to hope that he would find the strength to build a new future for himself.
She is happy to see that she was not wrong.
As Kurogane lies on the bed he no longer has eyes for his princess: instead, he appears unable to drink himself unthirsty of the newfound hope in his companion’s eyes - those blue eyes that, Tomoyo knows, have been cold and apathetic for so very, very long. They are glittering now, almost spilling over with laughter, and Fay’s hand rests on Kurogane’s and they could be alone in the world.
Tomoyo smiles, for he is no longer bound to the future that she has seen and feared. He has changed it, all by himself.
She needs no thank for helping him out, at least in the beginning. She is part of his past now, and after all, her happiness has always been that of others.
Tomoyo quietly leaves the room - she uses a tiny bit of magic as to not disturb the two men in their wordless communication - and shuts the thin sliding doors behind her. Mumbles a blessing over the two before moving on through the abandoned corridors.
Syaoran is lying in a small room to the far left; sleeping in exhaustion with Mokona cradled in his arms. Over the years, Tomoyo has cried so many silent tears over his fate that now, she finds she has no more to shed. Instead, she kneels before him and gently kisses his forehead, wishing that she could whisper to him that she knows what he has been through, trying to change the destinies of so many.
Because changing the course of time comes with a price, and heaven knows that this boy has paid.
Tomoyo will do anything to prevent the sorrowful ending that she sees in her dreams to become reality, even pay that which is most precious to her. She moves on to the biggest room in the corridor, one she seldom has entered before, because it has always reminded her of what is to take place there.
Kurogane’s childhood may be one of her earliest memories, but the very first one is that of a girl.
Whenever Tomoyo would awake from dreaming about Sakura, she would always silently compare her to the idea of an angel, and find that Sakura was far more beautiful, far lovelier.
They are all among her most treasured memories, even though she has not experienced them herself; Sakura smiling, laughing, Sakura’s hair fluttering in the hot desert wind. No one knows better than her the small jerk of her head that Sakura does when she is being stubborn; no one loves the way that she brushes her hair out of her eyes more than Tomoyo does. And yet, it has never been more than a dream to her.
Sakura’s future is her greatest concern. For that, she was willing to sacrifice her own happy ending, because Yuuko always keeps her promises.
Tomoyo sits by the other princess’s bedside, quietly, even when she knows the girl will not awaken no matter what she does. She takes Sakura’s ice-cold hand in hers, squeezing it gently. Sakura looks nothing like in her dreams: she looks not an angel, not a princess, not even a rootless travelling girl.
She looks dead.
Tomoyo could steal her first kiss right here - it would not matter. Even if she wanted to, it could never count as a kiss. Without even touching her face, she knows Sakura’s lips are as cold and listless as those of a corpse.
She allows her head to sink down into the cool silken covers of the bed, holding Sakura’s hand in hers all the while. She never realised that it would hurt this much. Still, she has chosen it herself, by her own free will, for something that is infinitely more important.
She only wishes that it would be enough to actually ensure that Sakura’s journey will not end in misery, but no one, not even the Dimensional Witch, has that kind of power. It is Sakura that must determine her own fate, and Tomoyo has faith that she will be able to do it. After all, she too has consciously suffered in order to prevent a future seen in a dream.
Sakura will find her happiness. She has so many people who care about her who will never allow her body to meet its end. Before long, they will leave this world, her fellow travellers, and they will take her with them. They will stop at nothing to retrieve her soul, that beautiful, strong soul that will not give up, no matter how long it must wander the realms of somebody else’s dream. Sakura’s ending will be happy. Tomoyo is happy knowing that.
But still, it pains her to never be able to hear her voice. Never to laugh with her or hold her hand, never even as only a friend, one among many that she has made during her journey.
Tomoyo will never see Sakura smile. That is her price, but it is all right, because even if it hurts her, even if she will only regard Sakura from afar in her dreams, Tomoyo does not mind pain, as long as it somehow ends in happiness.
Even if that happiness is not her own.
Rating: PG for mentions of blood.
Pairings: Tomoyo/Sakura, hints of Kurogane/Fay.
Warning: Spoilers up to chapter 168. Slight AU, because I was struck by a plot-bunny that wouldn't go away until I wrote this.
Summary: Sakura's future is her greatest concern.
She has always been happiest seeing the happiness of others.
The future bears many cruelties; always has. Tomoyo has seen them all, watched the painful lives of the ones she loves beforehand, knowing that she eventually will have all her visions come into fruition, but she never tries to avoid them. Pain is necessary for growth, and happiness tastes so much sweeter when it has been fought for.
No, Tomoyo does not wish for those precious to her to never experience sorrow, but she always asks herself: how will it end? She cannot bear an unhappy ending, because then, all the pain along the way would be in vain.
One of the first visions she can remember is that of a child whose future is washed away in blood. She knew she could not prevent his pain and she never tried to, but nevertheless she took action - all for the sake of saving that future and hope for a happy ending for that boy. So she took him under her wing, soothed his grief best she could and dared to hope that he would find the strength to build a new future for himself.
She is happy to see that she was not wrong.
As Kurogane lies on the bed he no longer has eyes for his princess: instead, he appears unable to drink himself unthirsty of the newfound hope in his companion’s eyes - those blue eyes that, Tomoyo knows, have been cold and apathetic for so very, very long. They are glittering now, almost spilling over with laughter, and Fay’s hand rests on Kurogane’s and they could be alone in the world.
Tomoyo smiles, for he is no longer bound to the future that she has seen and feared. He has changed it, all by himself.
She needs no thank for helping him out, at least in the beginning. She is part of his past now, and after all, her happiness has always been that of others.
Tomoyo quietly leaves the room - she uses a tiny bit of magic as to not disturb the two men in their wordless communication - and shuts the thin sliding doors behind her. Mumbles a blessing over the two before moving on through the abandoned corridors.
Syaoran is lying in a small room to the far left; sleeping in exhaustion with Mokona cradled in his arms. Over the years, Tomoyo has cried so many silent tears over his fate that now, she finds she has no more to shed. Instead, she kneels before him and gently kisses his forehead, wishing that she could whisper to him that she knows what he has been through, trying to change the destinies of so many.
Because changing the course of time comes with a price, and heaven knows that this boy has paid.
Tomoyo will do anything to prevent the sorrowful ending that she sees in her dreams to become reality, even pay that which is most precious to her. She moves on to the biggest room in the corridor, one she seldom has entered before, because it has always reminded her of what is to take place there.
Kurogane’s childhood may be one of her earliest memories, but the very first one is that of a girl.
Whenever Tomoyo would awake from dreaming about Sakura, she would always silently compare her to the idea of an angel, and find that Sakura was far more beautiful, far lovelier.
They are all among her most treasured memories, even though she has not experienced them herself; Sakura smiling, laughing, Sakura’s hair fluttering in the hot desert wind. No one knows better than her the small jerk of her head that Sakura does when she is being stubborn; no one loves the way that she brushes her hair out of her eyes more than Tomoyo does. And yet, it has never been more than a dream to her.
Sakura’s future is her greatest concern. For that, she was willing to sacrifice her own happy ending, because Yuuko always keeps her promises.
Tomoyo sits by the other princess’s bedside, quietly, even when she knows the girl will not awaken no matter what she does. She takes Sakura’s ice-cold hand in hers, squeezing it gently. Sakura looks nothing like in her dreams: she looks not an angel, not a princess, not even a rootless travelling girl.
She looks dead.
Tomoyo could steal her first kiss right here - it would not matter. Even if she wanted to, it could never count as a kiss. Without even touching her face, she knows Sakura’s lips are as cold and listless as those of a corpse.
She allows her head to sink down into the cool silken covers of the bed, holding Sakura’s hand in hers all the while. She never realised that it would hurt this much. Still, she has chosen it herself, by her own free will, for something that is infinitely more important.
She only wishes that it would be enough to actually ensure that Sakura’s journey will not end in misery, but no one, not even the Dimensional Witch, has that kind of power. It is Sakura that must determine her own fate, and Tomoyo has faith that she will be able to do it. After all, she too has consciously suffered in order to prevent a future seen in a dream.
Sakura will find her happiness. She has so many people who care about her who will never allow her body to meet its end. Before long, they will leave this world, her fellow travellers, and they will take her with them. They will stop at nothing to retrieve her soul, that beautiful, strong soul that will not give up, no matter how long it must wander the realms of somebody else’s dream. Sakura’s ending will be happy. Tomoyo is happy knowing that.
But still, it pains her to never be able to hear her voice. Never to laugh with her or hold her hand, never even as only a friend, one among many that she has made during her journey.
Tomoyo will never see Sakura smile. That is her price, but it is all right, because even if it hurts her, even if she will only regard Sakura from afar in her dreams, Tomoyo does not mind pain, as long as it somehow ends in happiness.
Even if that happiness is not her own.