Yeah... I'm a jerk
You never follow through one what you are going to do... Somehow I get the feeling that you view me as someone that takes for granted the things I have in this world. It's true that I seek something more than I have now... But it's something i once had. I don't care if you think I'm retarted for what I said. It's true. There are alot of fake people here.
Yeah, we're living for God the best we ever have... But does that mean that we stop there? You think just cuz we're doing good now, it means we need to be complacent? No... We shouldn't. We have to keep moving. So, I'm the jerk cuz I point out a flaw. Fine, be whatever you want to be. Be shallow, be empty. I don't care anymore.
Seriously, I'd considered leaving many times... But I was smarter than that. I knew what would happen if I did. At times I almost conviced myself that I didn't care about the consequences (And in a way I don't) but I'm still here. You seem to have mistaken what I said for some dumb ass rant about a kid wanting to be popular. If it was that shallow crap, I would have just "converted" to Preppyism and went on my marry way. Don't think for a moment I haven't had time to think of this... You know me... I have an analytiacal mind.
It pisses me of to think of the mindset we have. "Toad, you're just like them. You can make them feel comfortable." How dumb is that statment? Is it my job to make sure people of my similar background are comfortable? Am I only supposed to talk to those type people only? Am I the only one that can invite them? It's stupid ideas like that, that make cliques in the first place. Well, I'll only hang out with these people cuz they're just like me. If that was my mindset when I stepped into BCM. I WOULDN'T FREAKIN' BE HERE. Every time I hear that freakin' phrase " - You can make them feel comfortalbe" I feel like some kind of tool. As if the only reason I'm of any importance is cuz I'm from that background. I know that's not how you feel, but that's what it feels like.
Anywho... Don't think i hate any of you or anything. I love you. Alot. And I'm very aware there are alot of you that don't think this way. I'm also very aware that I sound like a jerk. If you can't look past this and see what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry. I suppose it's your problem.
Yeah, we're living for God the best we ever have... But does that mean that we stop there? You think just cuz we're doing good now, it means we need to be complacent? No... We shouldn't. We have to keep moving. So, I'm the jerk cuz I point out a flaw. Fine, be whatever you want to be. Be shallow, be empty. I don't care anymore.
Seriously, I'd considered leaving many times... But I was smarter than that. I knew what would happen if I did. At times I almost conviced myself that I didn't care about the consequences (And in a way I don't) but I'm still here. You seem to have mistaken what I said for some dumb ass rant about a kid wanting to be popular. If it was that shallow crap, I would have just "converted" to Preppyism and went on my marry way. Don't think for a moment I haven't had time to think of this... You know me... I have an analytiacal mind.
It pisses me of to think of the mindset we have. "Toad, you're just like them. You can make them feel comfortable." How dumb is that statment? Is it my job to make sure people of my similar background are comfortable? Am I only supposed to talk to those type people only? Am I the only one that can invite them? It's stupid ideas like that, that make cliques in the first place. Well, I'll only hang out with these people cuz they're just like me. If that was my mindset when I stepped into BCM. I WOULDN'T FREAKIN' BE HERE. Every time I hear that freakin' phrase " - You can make them feel comfortalbe" I feel like some kind of tool. As if the only reason I'm of any importance is cuz I'm from that background. I know that's not how you feel, but that's what it feels like.
Anywho... Don't think i hate any of you or anything. I love you. Alot. And I'm very aware there are alot of you that don't think this way. I'm also very aware that I sound like a jerk. If you can't look past this and see what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry. I suppose it's your problem.