Fic: Joker/Harley or Generic Batman Song Drabbles.
So, thanks to everyone that voted and helped me make this desicion. WHICH WAS NO ONE BUT brilliant_snark who voted for things I haven't even written yet!! I shouldn't reward this behavior. But I will, because I love you guys. So here's round one of the song drabbles. I wrote these on the train back and forth from NYC a week or so ago, so thank callmylawyer , since I was on the train to see her.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything within, not the songs, not the character, nada. Don't sue, I don't have the money for lawyers.
A/N #1: Some of these are a pretty hard R. Nothing explicit, per se, but I leave nothing to the imagination of what these two are up to.
A/N #2: Leave my music out of this. I listen to some crazy shit, end of story.
JOKER/HARLEY or GENERIC BATMAN.
1.) Drumming Song - Florence + The Machine 3:43
Arkham was lonely for Harley when the Joker wasn't around. Regardless of how much fun it was to see Ivy and Hat Guy and Lizard Man and all her other friends, she missed him. It was a physical presence, her longing for her Mr. J, a constant, deafening thrum of want. If she sat very still and very quiet, she could hear his laughter mixing with her own heartbeat, as though one needed the other to go on.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she thought back to a time before she'd belonged to the Joker. To try to remember what it was like NOT to miss him. Once in a while, she managed to bring that feeling back, the feeling of belonging to herself. Not having to worry whether her actions would please or provoke.
It never lasted long though, and it took only the smallest thing to remind her that without the Joker, she was nothing.
She was his vessel, to be filled how he saw fit, and heaven help her if she tried to escape his hold.
2.) Beautiful Disaster - Kelly Clarkson. 4:13
Most people thought only of the Joker as the insane Clown Prince of Gotham, a villain without soul or conscience. And for the most part, they would be right. He had no morals besides his own pleasure, and human life was as meaningless to him as the law itself.
Harleen Quinzel knew all these things, having grown up on tales of him, the nearly-immortal specter of evil whom even the Batman might fear.
But that didn't stop her from thinking there might be more to the story.
When she finally met him, the man behind the laughter, she thought she'd finally found someone who understood her, and was shocked when she began to find he felt the same. She had dreams of rehabilitating him, saving him from himself, and showing him a life without pain and madness.
But the Joker's greatest weapon was the trust of an innocent, and before she could stop it, he'd taken Harleen Quinzel, the pretty Jewish psychologist who'd never even killed a rat, and made her into something else, someone dangerous and broken, just like himself.
But still, he was so beautiful.
3.) Snitches and Talkers Get Stiches and Walkers - Fall Out Boy. 2:50
The worst part of being the Batman, Bruce Wayne thinks, is not the villians, the constant fight against death, or the shifting perception of Gotham's public.
No, it was the kids.
The kids who wanted to be like him, who wanted to be the next Batman, take on evil and plunge themselves into ridding Gotham of bad guys.
If he had his way, he would ban every kid under 18 from even mentioning his name. They were too vulnerable, too starry-eyed to see that, deep down, everyone secretly hates the do-gooder. Everyone wishes the Good Samaritan would just mind their own business.
Even Bruce Wayne hates the Batman sometimes.
4.) Happy Girl - Martina McBride. 3:27
At her heart, Harley is a simple girl. She doesn't need diamonds or furs or expensive perfume. She'd never been one for designer fashions, and she'd always been the first to hunt out a bargain.
No, really what made her happiest were the simple things.
The way the lawyer's splattered guts looked a little bit like a kitty cat.
That delightful squish noise someone's stomach made when her heavy hammer connected with it.
The way Mr. J laughed with delight when she kicked her pointy shoes into some cop's temple.
And the way her own blood tasted when the Joker's lips teased over the split his fist had made.
5.) Totally Fucked - Spring Awakening. 3:18
"Well, fuck." The Joker muttered. Between the (paltry) might of the Gotham police force and the (goddamn) Batman, him and Harley found themselves at the other end of a one-way alley.
Keeping still was not an options, seeing as there were bombs planted on the route to Arkham, and he didn't really fancy being mince meat, and there wasn't much chance of vanishing from this little scenario.
He glanced at Harley and felt a little stirring in his heart , (or was it loins? He was always getting those two mixed up.) His girl was giggling and taking off her harlequin hat, to revel... a pack of razor sharp throwing cards perched on top her her blonde head.
"Let's fuck 'em up, Puddin'!"
6.) Made for Each Other - Jack's Manniquen. 2:29
If you'd asked him, just over a year ago, whether he'd ever find himself curled around a skinny kid with blonde pigtails, rubbing his hands over her back as she panted into his neck, coming down from a (rather spectacular, if he was questioned) orgasm, he would have killed you.
Honestly, he'd kill you if you asked him right now, but that was just because he didn't like Harley's recovery time disturbed.
He wouldn't say he loved the girl, the word was foreign to him. But after all the work he'd put into her, making her just the way he liked, he had to admit, he would have been pretty pissed if she was taken from him.
7.) Your Arms Feel Like Home - 3 Doors Down. 3:44
(Continued from the previous)
Harley was working on getting her breath back, after being treated to a wonderful, mind-blowing orgasm at her Puddin's fingertips. She felt tingly and good, a little tired, but very happy. His cold hands were drawing patterns on her bare, red-stripped back, and he was chuckling to himself against her hair.
Looking up, she used the tip of one finger to trace his scars, and he smiled down at her, a rare non-malcious grin.
"Something on your mind, Harley-girl?" He questioned, palm of his hand pressing a little harder against one of the sorer weals on her back.
"Nope, Puddin'. Just thinkin' how cozy this is." She rested her head against his collarbone, grateful when he gathered her a little closer.
It was good to be home.
8.) Pedophiles - Dane Cook. 5:41
(Oh Jesus. Why am I doing this, exactly? What the fuck is wrong with me...)
Honestly, it was creepy, the way the Joker and Harley were together. It was much easier to fight them each separately, not only because it made his own strategies easier to employ, it was way less unnerving.
By his calculations, he and the Joker had been battling each other for five years now. The Joker was a bit older than he was, probably putting him at around thirty-six or thirty-seven.
By contrast, Harley Quinn couldn't be more than twenty-five.
Now, Bruce Wayne was no prude. They were both consenting, if disturbed, adults, and whatever time they spent being consenting adults was just more time they went without killing someone.
But if they were equal enough to be consenting, why in the hell did Harley have to call the Joker "Daddy."
That fact alone was enough to unsettle him, but then the Joker had to play along. If he had a dollar for every time he'd had to shake off one of the Joker's bizarre "Come on, Harley, Daddy needs your pretty ass alive for tonight." comments, he'd never have to worry about the trust fund again.
9.) Soon - LeAnn Rimes. 3:54
He wasn't coming. After two months she had to admit that to herself. Usually, after she'd been in Arkham two weeks, he'd show up, bored and needing her for something, breaking her out and getting back to business.
But not this time. This time she hadn't had so much as a whisper from the Joker, and it was killing her.
She tried telling herself he was just busy. He'd show up, when she least expected it, wipe her tears away and give her first crack at some goon who'd stepped over a line, just like always.
But the days ticked by, and her heart broke even more.
But she'd be over it soon. Soon, she'd be rehabilitated and free of him forever. She'd leave Gotham and Harley Quinn behind, and never think of the Joker again.
Never think of his soft green hair, or wide manic smile. The way his scars felt against her lips. The way his fist felt against her cheek. The way he looked at her sometimes, like she was his best girl, and always would be.
Yes, she'd forget all those things.
Or maybe dying would be easier.
10.) If I Can't Love Her (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast. 1:34
The Joker knew he'd never actually love Harley. Love was stupid, anyway, and there was no point to it. You couldn't sell it, you couldn't fuck it, you couldn't eat it, and you sure as hell couldn't use it to explode things.
It wasn't like he knew what he was missing. He'd never loved anyone. He didn't even love himself, and he was his favorite person in the world.
But sometimes, when she was there when no one else would have dared be, he wished love wasn't such a waste of time.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything within, not the songs, not the character, nada. Don't sue, I don't have the money for lawyers.
A/N #1: Some of these are a pretty hard R. Nothing explicit, per se, but I leave nothing to the imagination of what these two are up to.
A/N #2: Leave my music out of this. I listen to some crazy shit, end of story.
JOKER/HARLEY or GENERIC BATMAN.
1.) Drumming Song - Florence + The Machine 3:43
Arkham was lonely for Harley when the Joker wasn't around. Regardless of how much fun it was to see Ivy and Hat Guy and Lizard Man and all her other friends, she missed him. It was a physical presence, her longing for her Mr. J, a constant, deafening thrum of want. If she sat very still and very quiet, she could hear his laughter mixing with her own heartbeat, as though one needed the other to go on.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she thought back to a time before she'd belonged to the Joker. To try to remember what it was like NOT to miss him. Once in a while, she managed to bring that feeling back, the feeling of belonging to herself. Not having to worry whether her actions would please or provoke.
It never lasted long though, and it took only the smallest thing to remind her that without the Joker, she was nothing.
She was his vessel, to be filled how he saw fit, and heaven help her if she tried to escape his hold.
2.) Beautiful Disaster - Kelly Clarkson. 4:13
Most people thought only of the Joker as the insane Clown Prince of Gotham, a villain without soul or conscience. And for the most part, they would be right. He had no morals besides his own pleasure, and human life was as meaningless to him as the law itself.
Harleen Quinzel knew all these things, having grown up on tales of him, the nearly-immortal specter of evil whom even the Batman might fear.
But that didn't stop her from thinking there might be more to the story.
When she finally met him, the man behind the laughter, she thought she'd finally found someone who understood her, and was shocked when she began to find he felt the same. She had dreams of rehabilitating him, saving him from himself, and showing him a life without pain and madness.
But the Joker's greatest weapon was the trust of an innocent, and before she could stop it, he'd taken Harleen Quinzel, the pretty Jewish psychologist who'd never even killed a rat, and made her into something else, someone dangerous and broken, just like himself.
But still, he was so beautiful.
3.) Snitches and Talkers Get Stiches and Walkers - Fall Out Boy. 2:50
The worst part of being the Batman, Bruce Wayne thinks, is not the villians, the constant fight against death, or the shifting perception of Gotham's public.
No, it was the kids.
The kids who wanted to be like him, who wanted to be the next Batman, take on evil and plunge themselves into ridding Gotham of bad guys.
If he had his way, he would ban every kid under 18 from even mentioning his name. They were too vulnerable, too starry-eyed to see that, deep down, everyone secretly hates the do-gooder. Everyone wishes the Good Samaritan would just mind their own business.
Even Bruce Wayne hates the Batman sometimes.
4.) Happy Girl - Martina McBride. 3:27
At her heart, Harley is a simple girl. She doesn't need diamonds or furs or expensive perfume. She'd never been one for designer fashions, and she'd always been the first to hunt out a bargain.
No, really what made her happiest were the simple things.
The way the lawyer's splattered guts looked a little bit like a kitty cat.
That delightful squish noise someone's stomach made when her heavy hammer connected with it.
The way Mr. J laughed with delight when she kicked her pointy shoes into some cop's temple.
And the way her own blood tasted when the Joker's lips teased over the split his fist had made.
5.) Totally Fucked - Spring Awakening. 3:18
"Well, fuck." The Joker muttered. Between the (paltry) might of the Gotham police force and the (goddamn) Batman, him and Harley found themselves at the other end of a one-way alley.
Keeping still was not an options, seeing as there were bombs planted on the route to Arkham, and he didn't really fancy being mince meat, and there wasn't much chance of vanishing from this little scenario.
He glanced at Harley and felt a little stirring in his heart , (or was it loins? He was always getting those two mixed up.) His girl was giggling and taking off her harlequin hat, to revel... a pack of razor sharp throwing cards perched on top her her blonde head.
"Let's fuck 'em up, Puddin'!"
6.) Made for Each Other - Jack's Manniquen. 2:29
If you'd asked him, just over a year ago, whether he'd ever find himself curled around a skinny kid with blonde pigtails, rubbing his hands over her back as she panted into his neck, coming down from a (rather spectacular, if he was questioned) orgasm, he would have killed you.
Honestly, he'd kill you if you asked him right now, but that was just because he didn't like Harley's recovery time disturbed.
He wouldn't say he loved the girl, the word was foreign to him. But after all the work he'd put into her, making her just the way he liked, he had to admit, he would have been pretty pissed if she was taken from him.
7.) Your Arms Feel Like Home - 3 Doors Down. 3:44
(Continued from the previous)
Harley was working on getting her breath back, after being treated to a wonderful, mind-blowing orgasm at her Puddin's fingertips. She felt tingly and good, a little tired, but very happy. His cold hands were drawing patterns on her bare, red-stripped back, and he was chuckling to himself against her hair.
Looking up, she used the tip of one finger to trace his scars, and he smiled down at her, a rare non-malcious grin.
"Something on your mind, Harley-girl?" He questioned, palm of his hand pressing a little harder against one of the sorer weals on her back.
"Nope, Puddin'. Just thinkin' how cozy this is." She rested her head against his collarbone, grateful when he gathered her a little closer.
It was good to be home.
8.) Pedophiles - Dane Cook. 5:41
(Oh Jesus. Why am I doing this, exactly? What the fuck is wrong with me...)
Honestly, it was creepy, the way the Joker and Harley were together. It was much easier to fight them each separately, not only because it made his own strategies easier to employ, it was way less unnerving.
By his calculations, he and the Joker had been battling each other for five years now. The Joker was a bit older than he was, probably putting him at around thirty-six or thirty-seven.
By contrast, Harley Quinn couldn't be more than twenty-five.
Now, Bruce Wayne was no prude. They were both consenting, if disturbed, adults, and whatever time they spent being consenting adults was just more time they went without killing someone.
But if they were equal enough to be consenting, why in the hell did Harley have to call the Joker "Daddy."
That fact alone was enough to unsettle him, but then the Joker had to play along. If he had a dollar for every time he'd had to shake off one of the Joker's bizarre "Come on, Harley, Daddy needs your pretty ass alive for tonight." comments, he'd never have to worry about the trust fund again.
9.) Soon - LeAnn Rimes. 3:54
He wasn't coming. After two months she had to admit that to herself. Usually, after she'd been in Arkham two weeks, he'd show up, bored and needing her for something, breaking her out and getting back to business.
But not this time. This time she hadn't had so much as a whisper from the Joker, and it was killing her.
She tried telling herself he was just busy. He'd show up, when she least expected it, wipe her tears away and give her first crack at some goon who'd stepped over a line, just like always.
But the days ticked by, and her heart broke even more.
But she'd be over it soon. Soon, she'd be rehabilitated and free of him forever. She'd leave Gotham and Harley Quinn behind, and never think of the Joker again.
Never think of his soft green hair, or wide manic smile. The way his scars felt against her lips. The way his fist felt against her cheek. The way he looked at her sometimes, like she was his best girl, and always would be.
Yes, she'd forget all those things.
Or maybe dying would be easier.
10.) If I Can't Love Her (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast. 1:34
The Joker knew he'd never actually love Harley. Love was stupid, anyway, and there was no point to it. You couldn't sell it, you couldn't fuck it, you couldn't eat it, and you sure as hell couldn't use it to explode things.
It wasn't like he knew what he was missing. He'd never loved anyone. He didn't even love himself, and he was his favorite person in the world.
But sometimes, when she was there when no one else would have dared be, he wished love wasn't such a waste of time.