Life is a Precious Gift... and a Miracle for Some
In 1980, an 18-year-old girl found herself in her first year of college. She had come from an imperfect family (don't we all?) with parents who had basically ignored her for most of her life. Drugs and alcohol became a coping mechanism, and yet she still managed to earn a Presidential Scholarship and found herself in a whole new world. Because of much childhood pain and basically feeling hopeless (for many reasons I won't go into here) in that fall of her life, she began to feel despondent. She had few friends there and basically lost interest in everything. The pain was very great and although she didn't think of dying per se, she just didn't want "to be" anymore. She chose to overdose on drugs and just sleep until she was no more. She did that on November 8, 1980. For some reason, though, she awoke unscathed - completely - on November 9th. Unfortunately, the feelings were still there so she walked to the drug store, bought more drugs - anything that said "don't take too much because it causes drowsiness" and took them all. She went to sleep to again try to escape the pain and emptiness. On November 10, she again awoke with no ill effects from the drugs she had consumed. This could not be! but there was no one to talk to about this - so she bought ANOTHER bottle of sleeping pills and took it. She put on her favorite song - Christopher Cross's "Sailing" and finally, mercifully fell asleep.
And someone found her. She did not die, but was taken to a hospital, where the college decided that she needed to see a counselor. And she did. That was twenty-eight years ago today. By her senior year in 1984, she had earned a BA, been elected to student gov't every year, sang in numerous concerts, been in plays and earned the prestigious "Student-to-Student Award" that is voted on by the student body. She later married and had two wonderful sons and a career in social services serving hundreds of families. She adopted a teenage girl who had run out of chances. She made many, many friends; sang many, many songs; danced many, many dances. She has laughed and loved and been overwhelmed at the beauty and laughter and love of those around her.
That girl (as you no doubt have figured out) was me. I know that many people feel that emptiness and pain, and not everyone is as blessed as me to have such a miracle as to live through it. Sometimes I forget just how much of my life is a gift and I seek forgiveness for forgetting all that I could have lost if I'd had my way that day. Thank you, God, for the miracle of my life. Please give me the strength and courage to do wonderful things with it - to celebrate it - to use it to help others, even when I may feel tired - and to laugh and dance until YOU decide it's time for me to die. I love You.
And someone found her. She did not die, but was taken to a hospital, where the college decided that she needed to see a counselor. And she did. That was twenty-eight years ago today. By her senior year in 1984, she had earned a BA, been elected to student gov't every year, sang in numerous concerts, been in plays and earned the prestigious "Student-to-Student Award" that is voted on by the student body. She later married and had two wonderful sons and a career in social services serving hundreds of families. She adopted a teenage girl who had run out of chances. She made many, many friends; sang many, many songs; danced many, many dances. She has laughed and loved and been overwhelmed at the beauty and laughter and love of those around her.
That girl (as you no doubt have figured out) was me. I know that many people feel that emptiness and pain, and not everyone is as blessed as me to have such a miracle as to live through it. Sometimes I forget just how much of my life is a gift and I seek forgiveness for forgetting all that I could have lost if I'd had my way that day. Thank you, God, for the miracle of my life. Please give me the strength and courage to do wonderful things with it - to celebrate it - to use it to help others, even when I may feel tired - and to laugh and dance until YOU decide it's time for me to die. I love You.