Title: Antique Locket
Author: narknon
Fandom: ST XI
Word Count: ~1680
Characters/Pairings:Winona Kirk, K/U, past S/U, G/W
Rating: PG-13 for lang.
Warnings: Het, probable tense shifts
Summary: It's a long road this time, but the Kirk locket is always part of the journey to love
Original Prompt:
At Between Love and DutyDisclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. In writing this, I mean no harm to the owners of Star Trek.
A/N: Sorry this has taken so long. Spock and Kirk were NOT cooperating with me. They are still not really cooperating, but I am posting this anyway, so please tell me if you hate it or think its too out in left field.
Chapter 2 Winnie’s message freaks Jim right the hell out. What self-respecting man wouldn’t be shocked that his mom knew what had happened without him telling her? Who would tell her?
After a bit of hyperventilating, Jim calms down enough to call his mom back. “Ma, what the? How’d you know?”
“She called me about the locket, Jim. You know she and Mr. Spock never got married? Anyway, I’m sending her a box of stuff that helped me after your father…” Winnie trails off at the mention of George. Lord, she’d loved him. Hated losing him, hated Jim and Sam for a while afterwards because they were there and George wasn’t. Those were dark times, though, and she wouldn’t think of them.
“Ma? Uhura and Spock aren’t bonded? Ma? Ma, are you ok?”
Jim’s waving his hand across the screen at her, trying to get Winnie’s attention when she snaps back to the present. “Sorry, Jim,” she says, suddenly tired. “Nyota didn’t say much, but she’s been through hell. I expect you’d better keep an eye on her, or at least tell McCoy to. I- I’d better get back to the horses.” With that, she terminates the call and shakes her head, trying to clear it of the ghosts of her past.
Out in space, Jim’s trying to make sense of the information his mom’s just given him. He knows there more to it than she’s said, there always is when she gets that shadowed look on her face, the one he remembers from when he was little. For a moment, Jim’s absorbed by his own memories. Then the door chimes and there’s Spock and chess and Jim puts his past back in the box where it belongs.
They’re about halfway through the second match of Tri-D chess when Jim finally manages to nut up and ask Spock about his relationship with Nyota. “I uh, talked to my mom today. She said something about you and the Lieutenant that didn’t make sense to me. She said the two of you never…you know what, it’s none of my business. Nevermind, Spock.”
Spock is as placid as ever when he replies to Jim. “If your mother was inferring that the Lieutenant and I are not bonded, your mother is correct, Jim. I am curious as to why you are asking now. You habitually avoid talking about the Lieutenant.”
“Igaveherthelocket.”
“Fascinating. Am I right in my conjecture that you do not discuss the Lieutenant because of your romantic inclination towards her?”
Jim nods, once. In all the years they’ve served Starfleet together, all the years since Nero that’s made them nearly as close as Spock Prime had indicated they would be someday, Jim’s never talked about Nyota. Not with Spock. It seemed somehow wrong to say anything about the woman he loved to the man who held her heart. “How- how did you know?”
“You display many of the documented signs of attraction towards a romantic partner when in the Lieutenant’s company. Your body turns towards the Lieutenant when she is in your line of sight, you stay near her on missions without appearing to be close to her, you look away from her when she is near me, you provoke her with juvenile banter. Need I continue?”
Jim, shake his head slightly, “No, Spock. You’ve made your point. I just hope I haven’t been so obvious to the rest of the crew.”
“My observations indicate most of the crew does not suspect anything more than your usual antics. The Lieutenant herself does not, or rather did not suspect that you harbor true romantic feelings for her. I do believe I have you in check, Jim.”
“I’m surprised you don’t have me in checkmate, Spock.” Jim is beginning to relax, but he’s still tense. His game reflects that, and Spock puts him in checkmate in another three moves.
“A third round, Jim? I do not wish to violate the Lieutenant’s privacy by relating the entirety of our relationship, however, I find myself in need of additional insight with regards to her current state of mind that I do not believe I can gather from direct observation or communication with the Lieutenant herself. Since the termination of our relationship, her behavior has been… atypical. My study of human relationships led me to believe that she would go through a period of grieving followed by a gradual recovery. She does not appear to have followed this pattern.” Spock is already resetting the chessboard as he says this.
“I don’t know, Spock. It’s been a long day.” Jim’s ruffling his hair with unease.
“You are apprehensive about our conversation? I assure you, Jim, I do not disapprove of your interest in the Lieutenant. I merely thought, as you are the person with the most experience with women in my acquaintance, that you would have additional insight. I find the Lieutenant’s current state of being is unsatisfactory, as she is, for lack of a better term, not herself. My observations lead me to believe she has not truly grieved, nor has she begun the process of recovery. I have not been able to help her.”
“Jesus, Spock. Where to begin? You know I had no idea the can of worms I was opening by giving her that locket.”
“Why did you give the Lieutenant the Kirk Locket?”
Jim rubs his face roughly and takes a deep breath before responding. As if the night hasn’t gotten uncomfortable enough. Jim fears that it’s about to get much, much worse. He takes a shaky breath, and then another and confesses, “I’ve always loved her. Ma basically ordered me to give her the locket. Told me I didn’t have to say what it was, just that I had to give it to her. Ma doesn’t - didn’t - know anything about her. I just, I guess I was sick of the family being all about regret.”
Spock knows what Jim is referring to - he and Bones have both been there the day after Jim’s birthday many times to help Jim with the aftermath - putting things away, using the dermal regenerator on him if he’d done anything stupid like break a glass or bottle, giving Jim a detox hypo… the list went on. Sometimes they’d found him still muttering over some artifact of his family. Bones would shake his head and do something - anything - else while Spock dealt with Jim. His eternally calm demeanor seemed to soothe Jim to the point that he could start down the path of his life again. All that said, Spock is unsure of how to proceed with this conversation with Jim. Sober Jim and family are not things that generally go together. He gives Jim a look and says, “I am unsure how to proceed, Jim.”
Suddenly, the tension goes out of Jim. It occurs to him that Spock has been just as uncomfortable as he was with this conversation. That perhaps Spock was just as concerned about the whole thing. “I can’t believe we’re just now having this conversation. It’s been the elephant in the room probably since before we met.” He flashes Spock a tired grin. “I can’t believe you didn’t marry her.”
“It is a fact I cannot deny. Many days I find it unsatisfactory. However, I do find peace in my bond with T’Pring. A peace that my observations lead me to conclude that the Lieutenant does not possess at this time.”
“I don’t have much personal experience with long-term stuff, you know. Mostly I fall into bed with them and then stumble home the next morning.”
“I am aware of this, Jim. However, you also have a near 100 percent success rate in navigating post-coitus encounters with your conquests, if not with their significant others.” Spock’s eyebrow does its quirk-thing at this, as if they are joking about Jim’s sex life instead of having a serious discussion about Jim and Uhura and Spock.
“Yeah yeah. I got you Spock.” He pauses for a moment, considering his romantic past and everything he’s ever seen or heard about romantic relationships and continues, “Sometimes you just need space. Bones and his ex will never, if the universe was ending never, patch things up, but when he’s out here and she’s on Earth, they can be civil. They can even get through picking up and dropping off Joanna without a fight these days, but that’s taken years. Or maybe she needs a reason to move forward. That’s how my Ma finally got over Dad. Or I don’t know. Women are complicated. I used to say each one of them different, each one of them a beautiful mystery, but ugh. I’ve been sick of doing that song and dance for a while now. Still gets me in their pants, though.” Jim tries and fails to crack a grin at this last bit.
Spock thinks this over for a moment. “Do you know of any additional sources of data I might have overlooked?”
“There are a lot of Terran break up movies out there. Bones might have some insight. I’d suggest Gaila if she was around, but you might be able to comm her anyway. Whatever you do, don’t ask Nurse Chapel, you’ll just wind up with a stalker.” Jim makes a face and lapses into silence as he thinks about it. “You know, Cupcake’s pretty good with that stuff. You’re strong enough that if he got mad and decided to kick the shit out of you it wouldn’t matter.”
“I believe I will ask Dr. McCoy and comm Gaila. The movies I have on holovid have proven less than useful and I prefer not to provoke our Security Chief.”
“Well, glad I could be of at least some use.” Jim’s got this look on his face. It’s one that Spock doesn’t see often; an odd mixture of puppy eyes and hopelessness and confusion. Spock launches into a discourse on the next mission as a distraction tactic to ease them through the end of the tri-D chess game. When the game is over, Spock wishes Jim a peaceful night and retires.