... not again.
yes, i went home today. it was only for today, as i am happily back at the dorms. and it was all in the hope that i would be okay. i even took pokeymegchan along.
and it was really fun.
and it was really great.
and i ate a lot of food.
and i still cried anyways.
i'm really trying not to loose confidence in myself right now. i haven't been studying like i should, i've started touching my face a bit again, i don't go to sleep any time early, i'm not in control of my emotions, i haven't stayed on top of the really important things like housing for next year, i haven't sewed enough, and i'm not cleaning. i'd like to say i'm running away from everything, but i tired to run today, and found out that i can't. yeah, my knees have gone from worse to horrible in about 0.03 seconds flat.
i need to stop this right now, but whenever i go anywhere for any type of help, the answer i always get is something akin to "sorry, i can't help you" or "i don't understand what the problem is" or "did you know you knees aren't working? because that's all my ten years at college/doctor school taught me about knees. so, darling, you are screwed. have a nice life!"
i just have to keep remembering i start my job tomorrow, have my last final the day after, and have my first appointment with the knee doctor/therapist/knee specialist on tuesday.
nt (has gone) out (to hide in her hole now)
and it was really fun.
and it was really great.
and i ate a lot of food.
and i still cried anyways.
i'm really trying not to loose confidence in myself right now. i haven't been studying like i should, i've started touching my face a bit again, i don't go to sleep any time early, i'm not in control of my emotions, i haven't stayed on top of the really important things like housing for next year, i haven't sewed enough, and i'm not cleaning. i'd like to say i'm running away from everything, but i tired to run today, and found out that i can't. yeah, my knees have gone from worse to horrible in about 0.03 seconds flat.
i need to stop this right now, but whenever i go anywhere for any type of help, the answer i always get is something akin to "sorry, i can't help you" or "i don't understand what the problem is" or "did you know you knees aren't working? because that's all my ten years at college/doctor school taught me about knees. so, darling, you are screwed. have a nice life!"
i just have to keep remembering i start my job tomorrow, have my last final the day after, and have my first appointment with the knee doctor/therapist/knee specialist on tuesday.
nt (has gone) out (to hide in her hole now)