the number 23
March 14, 1985: I am born, three weeks early. They put me in an incubator.
March 14, 1986: I turn one. Please don't expect me to remember details.
March 14, 1987: I turn two. See above.
March 14, 1988: I don't remember this one, either, although apparently I was three.
March 14, 1989: I am four. My mom likes to tell me about the super special carrot cake she bought for me this year every time we pass that bakery, which is just scarce enough that she doesn't remember she's told me a million times before.
March 14, 1990: The Little Mermaid is about all I remember from this entire year. Really, I must have been a moronic child.
March 14, 1991: I was in kindergarten. Hmmm, that's all I got.
March 14, 1992: Hurrah! A memory! My mom planned this super-special party with a scavenger hunt all over the neighborhood but it just so happened to be the one day that Arizona chose to allow itself to be rained on out of the entire 365 it could have chosen from. My scavenger hunt is ruined. Instead, we make lame t-shirts.
March 14, 1993: Being as my parents made up this rule that we were only allowed to have a birthday party every two years so we wouldn't become spoiled, there isn't really much to tell about this one. We probably had dinner at Olive Garden, which was my favorite restaurant.
March 14, 1994: My American Girl birthday party. Everybody had to bring their American Girl doll and dress up like her. I was Kirsten and my mom had her seamstress friend make the dress out of some calico that looked just like her. I was so proud. Nobody else's costume even came close, except maybe my friend Mandy's. Come to think of it, maybe this is where my obsession with Halloween costumes came from.
March 14, 1995: My first year in Florida; no birthday party. Probably had dinner with the fam and my neighbor Kristen, who, sidenote, turned out to be kind of crazy.
March 14, 1996: Dinner at Olive Garden with my family and my crazy friend Alessandra. I actually have memories of this birthday. I got Celine Dion's CD, Falling Into You, and Alessandra was wearing the shirt from the concert, which she wore on purpose to annoy me because I didn't get to go and she did. I also got the Chronicles of Narnia series. I probably read all of them in less than a week.
March 14, 1997: A come as you are party. I invited everyone to a party at 1:00 but then we picked all of my friends up at the butt crack of dawn and made them come to Denny's in their pajamas. I, of course, looked stunning. Alessandra's hair was the biggest I've ever seen it, and we couldn't even get my friend Monica out of bed.
March 14, 1998: First year back in Arizona. This one was during my painfully awkward stage, and unfortunately, I have video to prove it. Dinner at, you guessed it, Olive Garden, with my family and my friend Shawna who'd I'd kept in touch with while in Florida. Also of note, this is the birthday that I got my very first Backstreet Boys CD.
March 14, 1999: I can't remember for the life of me who came to this dinner. I know my friend Kate must have been there, but I can't remember if the other person was Julia or Breanne. There was such friend-drama that year, it was unbelievable. God, I hated 8th grade.
March 14, 2000: Besides being newly enlightened by the first three Harry Potter books over a Flu-soaked Christmas, this birthday is notable however as being memorable solely because my friends thought it would be funny to pretend they'd forgotten my birthday and I showed up at school that day (fragile ninth grader that I was) expecting the customary flowers and balloons and candy from my friends (it was like a competition on birthdays to see who got the most shit), and NOTHING. I tried to play it off like it was cool, but then I spent twenty minutes during second hour in the bathroom crying and when I showed up at lunch and all my cool crap was there and they were laughing, I just couldn't contain it and I burst into hysterics. They never tried that shit again.
March 14, 2001: Sweet sixteen! My actual birthday was spent in Ireland, where I kissed the Blarney stone and got lost in a castle for half an hour and I ended up crying, until I found my friends in a pub down the street. Also, first birthday party since the come as you are party. I made everyone go cosmic bowling, where I made enemies with the DJ, who would later turn out to be a serious boyfriend of Kate's all throughout high school, because he wouldn't play my song. Vivid memories of doing the Macarena on top of the counter. Then we went back to my house to play games and where everyone decided to throw me into the pool fully clothed. Awesome.
March 14, 2002: This birthday is notable in that my mother and sister were both in California for a cheer competition (Nationals...bah!) and missed my birthday. Memories from this year include, but are not limited to: going to see The Time Machine by myself (and lying to my father about someone meeting me there) and missing the crucial part of the movie that makes you understand what the fuck is going on and then ending up crying in the bookstore after I can't get a hold of any of my friends. Also, I came home to find out that my cousin had been killed in a car crash. Yeah.
March 14, 2003: Branching out...ready for it? Dinner with Kate and Breanne and the fam at...Buca di Beppo! Olive Garden? What's that?
March 14, 2004: Okay, wtf happened to this year. I have no idea. Freshman in college....? The only thing I'm coming up with right now is that my friend Mike gave me my life-sized Aragorn cutout and when Breanne walked into our room she was so freaked out that she just walked right back out again. I also took great pleasure in putting him so that his face was the first thing she saw when she woke up. Top bunk, you know. God, I miss the screaming. (Edit: My dear friend Lauren has just informed me that I had a murder mystery for this one, too. It was Halloween themed. I can't believe I forgot about that.)
March 14, 2005: The only thing I remember about this one is that I got my first iPod.
March 14, 2006: Twenty-one!! Was dating this guy named Jeff at the time. He bought me the entire Indiana Jones trilogy for my birthday and then I broke up with him three days later. I'm such a bitch, sometimes. Spent actual birthday having a five month late turkey dinner that my mom cooked, and then had a party with my friends a week later. Incidentally, that was the first time I ever touched alcohol. Go me! (Also, the first birthday I spent without my father.)
March 14, 2007: Murder Mystery dinner! Small, but fun. It was Old West themed and I got to dress up as a Madam named Elvira N. Fection, in a public place. I also turned out to be the murderer. As for my actual birthday...LAME.
March 14, 2008: Spent the day being kicked and screamed at, until Liam went down for a nap, Sweet Jesus. Then Trinity put on a show for me and I made nachos. Now, I am getting ready to go to BJ's for some dinner and hard cider, and then 4th Ave. here I come. Also, I'm having a party in a month so if any of you want to come, let me know. It's gonna be Office themed, and it's gonna be good. Three words: Hooters, Yankee Swap.
March 14, 1986: I turn one. Please don't expect me to remember details.
March 14, 1987: I turn two. See above.
March 14, 1988: I don't remember this one, either, although apparently I was three.
March 14, 1989: I am four. My mom likes to tell me about the super special carrot cake she bought for me this year every time we pass that bakery, which is just scarce enough that she doesn't remember she's told me a million times before.
March 14, 1990: The Little Mermaid is about all I remember from this entire year. Really, I must have been a moronic child.
March 14, 1991: I was in kindergarten. Hmmm, that's all I got.
March 14, 1992: Hurrah! A memory! My mom planned this super-special party with a scavenger hunt all over the neighborhood but it just so happened to be the one day that Arizona chose to allow itself to be rained on out of the entire 365 it could have chosen from. My scavenger hunt is ruined. Instead, we make lame t-shirts.
March 14, 1993: Being as my parents made up this rule that we were only allowed to have a birthday party every two years so we wouldn't become spoiled, there isn't really much to tell about this one. We probably had dinner at Olive Garden, which was my favorite restaurant.
March 14, 1994: My American Girl birthday party. Everybody had to bring their American Girl doll and dress up like her. I was Kirsten and my mom had her seamstress friend make the dress out of some calico that looked just like her. I was so proud. Nobody else's costume even came close, except maybe my friend Mandy's. Come to think of it, maybe this is where my obsession with Halloween costumes came from.
March 14, 1995: My first year in Florida; no birthday party. Probably had dinner with the fam and my neighbor Kristen, who, sidenote, turned out to be kind of crazy.
March 14, 1996: Dinner at Olive Garden with my family and my crazy friend Alessandra. I actually have memories of this birthday. I got Celine Dion's CD, Falling Into You, and Alessandra was wearing the shirt from the concert, which she wore on purpose to annoy me because I didn't get to go and she did. I also got the Chronicles of Narnia series. I probably read all of them in less than a week.
March 14, 1997: A come as you are party. I invited everyone to a party at 1:00 but then we picked all of my friends up at the butt crack of dawn and made them come to Denny's in their pajamas. I, of course, looked stunning. Alessandra's hair was the biggest I've ever seen it, and we couldn't even get my friend Monica out of bed.
March 14, 1998: First year back in Arizona. This one was during my painfully awkward stage, and unfortunately, I have video to prove it. Dinner at, you guessed it, Olive Garden, with my family and my friend Shawna who'd I'd kept in touch with while in Florida. Also of note, this is the birthday that I got my very first Backstreet Boys CD.
March 14, 1999: I can't remember for the life of me who came to this dinner. I know my friend Kate must have been there, but I can't remember if the other person was Julia or Breanne. There was such friend-drama that year, it was unbelievable. God, I hated 8th grade.
March 14, 2000: Besides being newly enlightened by the first three Harry Potter books over a Flu-soaked Christmas, this birthday is notable however as being memorable solely because my friends thought it would be funny to pretend they'd forgotten my birthday and I showed up at school that day (fragile ninth grader that I was) expecting the customary flowers and balloons and candy from my friends (it was like a competition on birthdays to see who got the most shit), and NOTHING. I tried to play it off like it was cool, but then I spent twenty minutes during second hour in the bathroom crying and when I showed up at lunch and all my cool crap was there and they were laughing, I just couldn't contain it and I burst into hysterics. They never tried that shit again.
March 14, 2001: Sweet sixteen! My actual birthday was spent in Ireland, where I kissed the Blarney stone and got lost in a castle for half an hour and I ended up crying, until I found my friends in a pub down the street. Also, first birthday party since the come as you are party. I made everyone go cosmic bowling, where I made enemies with the DJ, who would later turn out to be a serious boyfriend of Kate's all throughout high school, because he wouldn't play my song. Vivid memories of doing the Macarena on top of the counter. Then we went back to my house to play games and where everyone decided to throw me into the pool fully clothed. Awesome.
March 14, 2002: This birthday is notable in that my mother and sister were both in California for a cheer competition (Nationals...bah!) and missed my birthday. Memories from this year include, but are not limited to: going to see The Time Machine by myself (and lying to my father about someone meeting me there) and missing the crucial part of the movie that makes you understand what the fuck is going on and then ending up crying in the bookstore after I can't get a hold of any of my friends. Also, I came home to find out that my cousin had been killed in a car crash. Yeah.
March 14, 2003: Branching out...ready for it? Dinner with Kate and Breanne and the fam at...Buca di Beppo! Olive Garden? What's that?
March 14, 2004: Okay, wtf happened to this year. I have no idea. Freshman in college....? The only thing I'm coming up with right now is that my friend Mike gave me my life-sized Aragorn cutout and when Breanne walked into our room she was so freaked out that she just walked right back out again. I also took great pleasure in putting him so that his face was the first thing she saw when she woke up. Top bunk, you know. God, I miss the screaming. (Edit: My dear friend Lauren has just informed me that I had a murder mystery for this one, too. It was Halloween themed. I can't believe I forgot about that.)
March 14, 2005: The only thing I remember about this one is that I got my first iPod.
March 14, 2006: Twenty-one!! Was dating this guy named Jeff at the time. He bought me the entire Indiana Jones trilogy for my birthday and then I broke up with him three days later. I'm such a bitch, sometimes. Spent actual birthday having a five month late turkey dinner that my mom cooked, and then had a party with my friends a week later. Incidentally, that was the first time I ever touched alcohol. Go me! (Also, the first birthday I spent without my father.)
March 14, 2007: Murder Mystery dinner! Small, but fun. It was Old West themed and I got to dress up as a Madam named Elvira N. Fection, in a public place. I also turned out to be the murderer. As for my actual birthday...LAME.
March 14, 2008: Spent the day being kicked and screamed at, until Liam went down for a nap, Sweet Jesus. Then Trinity put on a show for me and I made nachos. Now, I am getting ready to go to BJ's for some dinner and hard cider, and then 4th Ave. here I come. Also, I'm having a party in a month so if any of you want to come, let me know. It's gonna be Office themed, and it's gonna be good. Three words: Hooters, Yankee Swap.