discouraged
I finally got into a psych yesterday after waiting since augest.
He put me on strettera. its read alot of good and terrible things about it.
I talked to him and my case worker whos been fucking me around and made it pretty clear that i need professional help with my eating. but they hardly said anything about it. I told em both i need osme therapy. But like no one asked any questions, discussed any treatment options or anything. I fucking feel like im insane. like im making this all up,. but i fucking cant think straight right now, its RULING my miserable life and every thought i think. I am sick.
i am totally hopeless, as i was walking out of there with so much hope going down the drain, all i could think about was which terrible route i can take to become not addicted to food; Punishment, drug addiction, bulmia. the only answers i know now anymore. What the fuck can i do to make this go away? I am going to fucking die if i am not less than what i weight by my birthday in june. i fucking swear to god, i need some fucking help getting there or i am going to be a miserable, self loathing person.
am i fucking insane? am i making this up? doesnt any one in the fucking world have any idea what misery i am going though??? why do i feel so fucking alone!!!!???????????? Why is there no answers?? why cant anyone help me????????????????? i am losing my fucking mind.
i have no one to call, no one to talk to, i have no one who understands. ''
I should be inpatient right now.