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i decided today i want to be a pharmacist. which is odd because i hate what im doing now with all this anatomy bullshit. i know pharmacy school would be really hard, especially for me cuz i'm lazy, but i think it would be worth it. pharmacists are always in demand, and they make like 100 thousand a year. and because theyre so in demand, lots of time they get sign on bonuses which can be up to an extra 20 grand just for agreeing to work for a place for a year. i think i'd like to do that and then also study nutrition and herbs and maybe have my own practice. i think modern medicine is good, but i also think that a lot of medications give bad side effects, and then people are prescribed more pills to treat those side effects and i just don't think it would be very good for one's health to ingest so many chemicals. i think i'd like to be able to help people pick out which medications are necessary, and find herbal remedies to help with the side effects. i don't think anything like that has really been done before.
i told mandi what i wanted to do, and she might want to do it with me. i'm also kind of trying to convince ricky to do it with me or at least go to school with me. my parents want me to try to go to TSU because if you're white, you can pretty much go there for free. i'd like to go there with someone i know to protect me from all the black guys =[
i'm torn as to how i want to spend my time. i don't really like school and i don't think i'm mature enough to put forth the effort to do really well. there are so many other things i want to do. i'd like to be able to go to school in a year or two or whenever i think i can handle it and i'm willing to make the sacrifices. all i want to do now is create things. thats all i've ever wanted to do. all day, i dream of things to make, or look online and get inspiration or learn how to do things. but i think now would be a bad time to invest in a business venture because of the economy. i should spend my time learning how to sew and studying for school. i'd also like a job so i'd have money to make things, but there's not enough hours in a day to go to school, study, do home work, work on projects, and have a job. not to mention i have friends, a new cat, and a boyfriend i'd like to spend time with. i think i just need to schedule my time more wisely. i spend too much time online or at rickys instead of doing my work. if i just did a little bit of school every day and just studied for a little bit, i wouldn't be so stressed about tests and projects being due because i always wait to the last minute. like right now, i have an anatomy exam on tuesday that i havent studied for, but i'm writing a stupid blog instead.
rickys been really awesome lately. i know i get depressed a lot and feel like i dont feel as strongly for him or whatever, but those feelings always go away. i just seem to feel them at night sometimes. night time has always been a struggle for me. i guess its because thats when i feel i'm the most alone. he's getting his income tax money soon, and he says it should be about a grand. i asked him if we were doin anything for V day and he started asking me about limos and if i wanted to get one with khrys and james and go out. i think its sweet he wants to do stuff for my friends. and he also asked me what kind of lap top i want, so i'm pretty sure he's gonna get me one cuz i need one for school and i'd like to have one to put my games and stuff on for when i travel. so, that'd be super awesome if he bought me one cuz i totally deserve something expensive and my parents cant afford to get me a laptop. he tries so hard to keep me happy and impress me and do things for me. i love him so much.
i'm also really excited about my party. ive talked to a lot of people i havent seen in a while that have said they'd come, but i doubt it. i hope it has a good turn out and isnt too crazy and loud. i hate that shit. and i totally dont want to deal with cops if cops show up.
even tho shit is crazy and i'm confused as to where my life is goign and all that, i'm happy. my mom and grandma support me in my new career venture; bill just yelled about it and said what a failure i am. i know i dont put forth an effort with a lot of things and have always been naturally smart so i never really had to study, but i need to change that and i need to strive for better things for myself because no one else is going to give them to me. i already got a good man, now i just want a good career that will support me and my future business endevours.
i told mandi what i wanted to do, and she might want to do it with me. i'm also kind of trying to convince ricky to do it with me or at least go to school with me. my parents want me to try to go to TSU because if you're white, you can pretty much go there for free. i'd like to go there with someone i know to protect me from all the black guys =[
i'm torn as to how i want to spend my time. i don't really like school and i don't think i'm mature enough to put forth the effort to do really well. there are so many other things i want to do. i'd like to be able to go to school in a year or two or whenever i think i can handle it and i'm willing to make the sacrifices. all i want to do now is create things. thats all i've ever wanted to do. all day, i dream of things to make, or look online and get inspiration or learn how to do things. but i think now would be a bad time to invest in a business venture because of the economy. i should spend my time learning how to sew and studying for school. i'd also like a job so i'd have money to make things, but there's not enough hours in a day to go to school, study, do home work, work on projects, and have a job. not to mention i have friends, a new cat, and a boyfriend i'd like to spend time with. i think i just need to schedule my time more wisely. i spend too much time online or at rickys instead of doing my work. if i just did a little bit of school every day and just studied for a little bit, i wouldn't be so stressed about tests and projects being due because i always wait to the last minute. like right now, i have an anatomy exam on tuesday that i havent studied for, but i'm writing a stupid blog instead.
rickys been really awesome lately. i know i get depressed a lot and feel like i dont feel as strongly for him or whatever, but those feelings always go away. i just seem to feel them at night sometimes. night time has always been a struggle for me. i guess its because thats when i feel i'm the most alone. he's getting his income tax money soon, and he says it should be about a grand. i asked him if we were doin anything for V day and he started asking me about limos and if i wanted to get one with khrys and james and go out. i think its sweet he wants to do stuff for my friends. and he also asked me what kind of lap top i want, so i'm pretty sure he's gonna get me one cuz i need one for school and i'd like to have one to put my games and stuff on for when i travel. so, that'd be super awesome if he bought me one cuz i totally deserve something expensive and my parents cant afford to get me a laptop. he tries so hard to keep me happy and impress me and do things for me. i love him so much.
i'm also really excited about my party. ive talked to a lot of people i havent seen in a while that have said they'd come, but i doubt it. i hope it has a good turn out and isnt too crazy and loud. i hate that shit. and i totally dont want to deal with cops if cops show up.
even tho shit is crazy and i'm confused as to where my life is goign and all that, i'm happy. my mom and grandma support me in my new career venture; bill just yelled about it and said what a failure i am. i know i dont put forth an effort with a lot of things and have always been naturally smart so i never really had to study, but i need to change that and i need to strive for better things for myself because no one else is going to give them to me. i already got a good man, now i just want a good career that will support me and my future business endevours.