3.01 SPOILERS
I am working on about four different things for you all right now, including the second half of HP & tBfL, and two or three different pieces of meta that, come to think of it, are all kind of about the same thing. But since it's the thing to do, let's react to 3.01! I only have a few actual points, but here they are:
First of all, the simple things: Mercedes, you break my heart. You go right on being the only member of the glee club to ever date outside of show choir no Santofsky doesn't count. (Even Puck was only allowed to date Lauren while she was in ND.) You are fierce and awesome and the fact that your BFF is now doing your secret handshake in cars with other girls...go love your boyfriend, because he knows you're amazing.
Quinn, how are you so hot. UNF. Somehow a summer has turned her from 'extraordinarily pretty' to 'the girl I would keep surreptitiously staring at all night at a concert and not daring to approach'. Oh Quinn. (And Rachel, for cutting right through to the heart of things: "I'm sorry you're so sad." Oh Quinn.)
Oh Finn, who only got about five lines all episode, four of them about not knowing who he is except as a be-slushied glee club total loser and one about being afraid Blaine is going to sweep in and 'rockstar' away all his solos. We apparently get him in the garage with Burt next week, and I am so, so happy for that. Burt, do your 'best dad TV has ever seen' magic with him, please?
Will, you are a despicable person. Emma, if he frightens you enough to be wearing that much yellow all the time, why do you stay? Emma's therapist: get on that.
AND THE KLAINE.
UNPOPULAR REACTION TIME. Oh my god, that is the unhealthiest relationship. Oh my god. Somebody needs to say it, because most of the internet isn't, so I will: Blaine's transfer was not cute or romantic or a sign of a loving, stable relationship. Blaine's transfer was a sign of some serious massive codependency issues that have me so, so worried for our boys.
Let's start by saying that I believe firmly that they are completely in love. Their love is pure, etc. etc., Blaine only has eyes for Kurt, ever, and even though years of living in a warzone have trained Kurt to keep one eye on his surroundings at all time, he mostly devotes the other one to looking back. They're not with each other because they think they ought to be, or have to be, or any of that. They are so in love.
And they are so bad at it.
You know, we had a conversation, as a fandom, last spring, about those "I love you"s and why Blaine's seemed so much more natural and heartfelt than Kurt's. I always argued that Kurt's was just as honest, but the way Kurt's brain works, processes love, etc, is different than how Blaine's does it. See above re: 'only has eyes for Kurt' vs 'one eye constantly peeled for danger or any number of other problems/opportunities just on instinct'. Kurt doesn't express love via houndish loyalty. He expresses it with a mix of mothery/controlling affection (see: critiques on Mercedes' wardrobe, "You're such a boy" as he approaches with a moist towelette, everything with Burt S2 ever), a definite possessive streak, and the occasional rampant disregard for the other person's feelings that comes from actually being able to trust that they care about what Kurt wants and will go along with it.
In other words, Kurt actually thinks wheedling and pressuring his boyfriend to transfer from his prestigious private school with a no-bullying policy and actual academic standards is the right thing to do. The fact that it isn't doesn't mean he loves Blaine any less. In fact, the coffee shop scene in 3.01 was what solidified for me that Kurt really does love Blaine exactly as much as Blaine loves him back. If he didn't, he wouldn't need so very badly to have Blaine there, right with him. Possessive and controlling streak, remember?
Kurt doesn't have any good models for what a healthy relationship should look like for him. He doesn't really have all that many models for what a healthy relationship should look like for anybody, tbh, but Burt and Carole are at least a pretty good start. But this is the first boy Kurt has ever kissed. He's the first boy who ever held Kurt's hand. He's the first boy who ever returned flirty eye contact. Kurt has no practice in what he's supposed to be doing here. Oh, he's pushed people too far and been bitten for it before, but that was Finn. Finn was never going to want him back whether Kurt decorated a Moroccan brothel or the inside of a football stadium. Neither was Sam. The lesson Kurt learned with Sam wasn't 'don't steamroller people', it was 'don't come on too strong with straight boys'. And Blaine isn't. Blaine will let Kurt do all the things that are needy and insecure and possessive and controlling (because this is the first time he's ever even been allowed a hope at love, of course he's insecure, it's terrifying) because Blaine has no idea what he's doing either.
Blaine is the neediest little puppydog McKinley High has ever seen, and it's adorable, it really is, until you start looking closer. I find it increasingly hard to actually take Dom!Blaine/sub!Kurt fic seriously the more I watch, because honestly: Blaine does anything Kurt asks of him. Anything. He walks into situations that terrify him. He makes massive decisions about his life and future that all other factors indicate are really bad decisions. That boy would walk into hell itself with a grin, a song, and a set of hearts for eyes if Kurt told him to. In fact, he kind of just has.
crown_of_weeds and I have talked some about Blaine having no center. There is a core of inner Blaineness somewhere deep down in there, but it's blanketed in so many layers of a pathological need to just be whatever people want/expect him to be that I don't think even he realizes it exists. There's an excellent piece of meta floating around somewhere proving this, but--you guys know how songs on Glee mean something way more than they don't? (actually they mean something every single time, but that's a discussion for another day.) Every time Blaine sings? He's singing for somebody else. No, seriously. Go rewatch Kurt's expression during 'Teenage Dream' and think about which one of them we've seen more often in skintight jeans, and then rewatch 'Misery'. At Prom he's singing about Finn (who else on the show can't dance?), from any number of possible perspectives (my personal favorite interpretation: from Rachel, who has been showing Finn how to properly romance his girlfriend all episode, to Quinn). Even 'It's Not Unusual'. Yes, it sounds like a happy love song dedicated to Kurt. Yes, the few lines even support that. But "when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry, I wanna die"? I really hope that's not meant for Kurt, in combination with "why can't this crazy love be mine?" Sounds a lot more like something that, say, Santana can't say to Brittany than something Blaine needs to say to Kurt.
So we have precise, insecure Kurt, whose entire life is made up of little control rituals to bring parts of the world back under his power, and clingy, insecure Blaine who is anything anybody ever wants him to be. And neither of them know enough to pull back here. Of _course_ it is a mess. Of course it is.
And the fact that it's a mess doesn't mean they're not so very in love, doesn't even mean I think they can't work through it without breaking up. But this is going to hurt.
And, just in case you think I'm making it all up:
I've been standing here for five minutes and you haven't even noticed I'm wearing your ring.
For someone who's as concerned with clothes as you are, you haven't even noticed what I'm wearing.
And we all know that relationship was built on a very foundation of puppies and honesty.
I have a lot of faith in Klaine. I do. But oh boys this is not the road of a healthy relationship. You matter, Blaine. You do. You just have to know that well enough to be able to remind Kurt, from time to time.
First of all, the simple things: Mercedes, you break my heart. You go right on being the only member of the glee club to ever date outside of show choir no Santofsky doesn't count. (Even Puck was only allowed to date Lauren while she was in ND.) You are fierce and awesome and the fact that your BFF is now doing your secret handshake in cars with other girls...go love your boyfriend, because he knows you're amazing.
Quinn, how are you so hot. UNF. Somehow a summer has turned her from 'extraordinarily pretty' to 'the girl I would keep surreptitiously staring at all night at a concert and not daring to approach'. Oh Quinn. (And Rachel, for cutting right through to the heart of things: "I'm sorry you're so sad." Oh Quinn.)
Oh Finn, who only got about five lines all episode, four of them about not knowing who he is except as a be-slushied glee club total loser and one about being afraid Blaine is going to sweep in and 'rockstar' away all his solos. We apparently get him in the garage with Burt next week, and I am so, so happy for that. Burt, do your 'best dad TV has ever seen' magic with him, please?
Will, you are a despicable person. Emma, if he frightens you enough to be wearing that much yellow all the time, why do you stay? Emma's therapist: get on that.
AND THE KLAINE.
UNPOPULAR REACTION TIME. Oh my god, that is the unhealthiest relationship. Oh my god. Somebody needs to say it, because most of the internet isn't, so I will: Blaine's transfer was not cute or romantic or a sign of a loving, stable relationship. Blaine's transfer was a sign of some serious massive codependency issues that have me so, so worried for our boys.
Let's start by saying that I believe firmly that they are completely in love. Their love is pure, etc. etc., Blaine only has eyes for Kurt, ever, and even though years of living in a warzone have trained Kurt to keep one eye on his surroundings at all time, he mostly devotes the other one to looking back. They're not with each other because they think they ought to be, or have to be, or any of that. They are so in love.
And they are so bad at it.
You know, we had a conversation, as a fandom, last spring, about those "I love you"s and why Blaine's seemed so much more natural and heartfelt than Kurt's. I always argued that Kurt's was just as honest, but the way Kurt's brain works, processes love, etc, is different than how Blaine's does it. See above re: 'only has eyes for Kurt' vs 'one eye constantly peeled for danger or any number of other problems/opportunities just on instinct'. Kurt doesn't express love via houndish loyalty. He expresses it with a mix of mothery/controlling affection (see: critiques on Mercedes' wardrobe, "You're such a boy" as he approaches with a moist towelette, everything with Burt S2 ever), a definite possessive streak, and the occasional rampant disregard for the other person's feelings that comes from actually being able to trust that they care about what Kurt wants and will go along with it.
In other words, Kurt actually thinks wheedling and pressuring his boyfriend to transfer from his prestigious private school with a no-bullying policy and actual academic standards is the right thing to do. The fact that it isn't doesn't mean he loves Blaine any less. In fact, the coffee shop scene in 3.01 was what solidified for me that Kurt really does love Blaine exactly as much as Blaine loves him back. If he didn't, he wouldn't need so very badly to have Blaine there, right with him. Possessive and controlling streak, remember?
Kurt doesn't have any good models for what a healthy relationship should look like for him. He doesn't really have all that many models for what a healthy relationship should look like for anybody, tbh, but Burt and Carole are at least a pretty good start. But this is the first boy Kurt has ever kissed. He's the first boy who ever held Kurt's hand. He's the first boy who ever returned flirty eye contact. Kurt has no practice in what he's supposed to be doing here. Oh, he's pushed people too far and been bitten for it before, but that was Finn. Finn was never going to want him back whether Kurt decorated a Moroccan brothel or the inside of a football stadium. Neither was Sam. The lesson Kurt learned with Sam wasn't 'don't steamroller people', it was 'don't come on too strong with straight boys'. And Blaine isn't. Blaine will let Kurt do all the things that are needy and insecure and possessive and controlling (because this is the first time he's ever even been allowed a hope at love, of course he's insecure, it's terrifying) because Blaine has no idea what he's doing either.
Blaine is the neediest little puppydog McKinley High has ever seen, and it's adorable, it really is, until you start looking closer. I find it increasingly hard to actually take Dom!Blaine/sub!Kurt fic seriously the more I watch, because honestly: Blaine does anything Kurt asks of him. Anything. He walks into situations that terrify him. He makes massive decisions about his life and future that all other factors indicate are really bad decisions. That boy would walk into hell itself with a grin, a song, and a set of hearts for eyes if Kurt told him to. In fact, he kind of just has.
crown_of_weeds and I have talked some about Blaine having no center. There is a core of inner Blaineness somewhere deep down in there, but it's blanketed in so many layers of a pathological need to just be whatever people want/expect him to be that I don't think even he realizes it exists. There's an excellent piece of meta floating around somewhere proving this, but--you guys know how songs on Glee mean something way more than they don't? (actually they mean something every single time, but that's a discussion for another day.) Every time Blaine sings? He's singing for somebody else. No, seriously. Go rewatch Kurt's expression during 'Teenage Dream' and think about which one of them we've seen more often in skintight jeans, and then rewatch 'Misery'. At Prom he's singing about Finn (who else on the show can't dance?), from any number of possible perspectives (my personal favorite interpretation: from Rachel, who has been showing Finn how to properly romance his girlfriend all episode, to Quinn). Even 'It's Not Unusual'. Yes, it sounds like a happy love song dedicated to Kurt. Yes, the few lines even support that. But "when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry, I wanna die"? I really hope that's not meant for Kurt, in combination with "why can't this crazy love be mine?" Sounds a lot more like something that, say, Santana can't say to Brittany than something Blaine needs to say to Kurt.
So we have precise, insecure Kurt, whose entire life is made up of little control rituals to bring parts of the world back under his power, and clingy, insecure Blaine who is anything anybody ever wants him to be. And neither of them know enough to pull back here. Of _course_ it is a mess. Of course it is.
And the fact that it's a mess doesn't mean they're not so very in love, doesn't even mean I think they can't work through it without breaking up. But this is going to hurt.
And, just in case you think I'm making it all up:
I've been standing here for five minutes and you haven't even noticed I'm wearing your ring.
For someone who's as concerned with clothes as you are, you haven't even noticed what I'm wearing.
And we all know that relationship was built on a very foundation of puppies and honesty.
I have a lot of faith in Klaine. I do. But oh boys this is not the road of a healthy relationship. You matter, Blaine. You do. You just have to know that well enough to be able to remind Kurt, from time to time.