The Only Exception
» The Only Exception. Kyumin, Sungmin-centric. Romance. 2446 words.
Sungmin never believed in love, until Kyuhyun showed up.
A/N: I love how much I've been writing lately.
SONG: "The Only Exception" - Lea Michele
There comes a point in one's life where you come across a turning point, where you realize that there's this one person who you can't live without. They're a vital part of your life, like oxygen, maybe water. They're your absolute everything, they're part of you.
Honestly, I found that to be a load of shit. True love wasn't real, didn't exist.
My parents divorced when I was nine, splitting my brother and I up. Perhaps this is why I'm more...erm, feminine than most -- my brother went to stay with my father while I was with my mother. Regardless of whether or not this had an effect on my femininity, it definitely taught me one important lesson; love never lasts. Or at least, that's what my poor mother tried to tell me without outright crushing my dreams of a happy ending. She burned all of the memorabilia of my father, every last picture and item of clothing he bought her and every letter from his stint in the army. Gone in an instant, engulfed by dancing flames in front of my nine year old eyes.
But of course, that's not to say that I didn't believe in sex. By the age of fifteen, sex was something I was very, very familiar with. I lost my virginity in my eighth grade year, to an older girl -- I feel horrible saying this, because I can't even remember her name. Regardless, it happened, and from then on I was stuck. I was just so caught up in the whirlwind of it all, I just felt this insatiable need for it, much more than the need to eat or sleep.
And it wasn't like it was limited, oh no. No, my...services, as I began to call them, were for everyone; man or woman. It wasn't like I was getting paid or anything, considering I never slept with anyone who was out of high school, but perhaps maybe I'd get a bowl of soup or some sort of snack before I went home.
Of course, with my graduation from high school, I also graduated onto bigger and better things...sort of. No longer was I forced to play around with high schoolers.
Then I came to be in Super Junior, and things had to change. With this new "idol status" that was being thrust upon me, I could no longer go out prowling the bars and clubs for a quick lay. I could no longer take home a cute boy or girl and call them mine for the night; I had to be good.
It was a hard adjustment. Knowing that I could no longer have my fun, I started becoming (gradually) interested in quite a few of my new roommates -- first being Ryeowook. He was so fragile and feminine, I just couldn't not want him.
Then there was Donghae, but that was short-lived when I saw the way that he used Eunhyuk as an oxygen tank.
I pretty much bounced from one member to the next, hanging on them like a little lost puppy, and most of the time that resulted in my getting absolutely nothing. There were only a few members I stayed away from, one of them being Kyuhyun.
But why, you're probably wondering. Why? He's cute, he's funny, he's extremely talented. For some reason, though he just never caught my eye.
He kind of annoyed me, actually. He got drunk too much, he played too many video games. He was too sarcastic, too loud when he laughed, he was just...too much.
The annoyance started off with little things. "Hyung," He would say to me, his eyes glued to his laptop as if it were hypnotizing him. "Make me some soup."
"No," I would say, flipping through channels on the television. "I'm busy."
"Hyung," He would whine. "Make me some soup!"
Or the fact that he would always leave messes strewn about the apartment -- a sock here, a shoe there, a shirt here, some pants there. It was such a turn-off, how disorganized and disorderly he was, and it just put me right off of him. I couldn't help it.
Gradually, though, we did become friends. We shared a room, so it was hard not to get along, especially with his...infectious personality. He spent a lot of time on his laptop, out of my way for the most part, but he still had a very noticeable presence in the room. We would discuss an assortment of things, but mainly work. Starcraft was another common subject; he even tried to teach me how to play, but that was like teaching a fish how to breathe out of water -- impossible.
"Hyung," He would say to me, laughing. "Do you even know how to turn on a computer?"
It was this kind of humor that gradually brought us closer.
Pretty soon, his company was something I actually enjoyed. I would notice when he was gone, and it was like something was missing. He was becoming something important to me, something I relied on during the day to help everything run smoothly.
It was a frightening discovery, when I realized that without him around, I was horribly lonely.
I wouldn't admit that something was growing between us; there was just no way. For Christ's sake, I'm Lee Sungmin. Lee Sungmin does not feel any sort of attachment to people, it's just understood.
But something was growing between us, and quickly so. Everyone noticed, too, by the way Kyuhyun would slap my arm playfully, or I'd bump his leg ever so gently at the dinner table. But we never spoke anything of it, he and I; it was just something we did.
One night, I couldn't sleep; it was the middle of May, and the air conditioning was broken. It was around three AM, and Kyuhyun was, of course, awake and on his laptop per usual, but he was in such a daze that I was sure he'd be using his keyboard as a pillow at any point. I tossed and turned in bed, unable to drift off, the heat wrapping around my like an envelope and causing my sheets to stick to me like a second skin. I couldn't breathe, either; the air was so thick with moisture that it was like that feeling you get when you get soap in your mouth in the shower and everything is all clammy. It was like having Kyuhyun in the room was too much; the shared oxygen left me with too little to sufficiently breathe.
"Kyuhyun," I whined, rolling onto my side to face his bed. "I can't sleep."
He turned to me and popped the headphones out of his ears. "Sorry hyung, what'd you say?"
"I can't sleep," I repeated, rolling my eyes.
Kyuhyun nodded and got up, coming over to the bed and taking a seat. "Scoot over," He said. I obliged, pressing myself against the wall next to me; he laid down as well, looking me dead in the eye. "Why can't you sleep, hyung?"
I tried not to look at Kyuhyun; he was far too close for comfort. I could feel his breath, bated and restrained, against my lips. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, my cheeks red.
"Too hot in here," I said, sighing. "Fucking air conditioner needs to work." Uncomfortable silence ensued for a few moments, the air only seeming to get thicker as it went on.
Suddenly, Kyuhyun's hand was on my arm, fingers sliding up and down as slowly as possible. He sighed, smiling at me before speaking. "Of course it's hot in here, hyung," He said with a sly smirk. "You're in here, after all."
"Shut up," I laughed, although something caught in my throat and it came out choked. He smiled and continued to rub my arm.
"Maybe I don't want to," He said, scooting a little closer. My eyes darted to him, and there was a look on his face I couldn't read. My breath hitched in my throat as he continued to close the distance between us; he rolled me onto my side so I could face him, and his breath was once again on my lips. My mind panicked, much like a mouse being hunted by an owl, frantic and disoriented.
"Wh--" I started, but paused. "What are you doing?"
His finger was suddenly on my lips. "Shh, hyung," He whispered, his eyes heavy and dark. "Just relax. I'll help you sleep."
He then closed the distance between us, and my first thought was that my lips felt like sparklers; there was an electricity there that I'd never felt with anyone else I'd ever kissed, and believe me, there were a lot of them. It was like the wind had been completely knocked out of me; I was relying on him to breathe, he was my oxygen tank. I ran my fingers through his hair slowly and gripped lightly, a moan coming from my lips.
But I stopped. Pushed him off and caught my breath as quick as I could. "Wh...No," I said sternly. "I - I can't. Too much." My brain still wasn't functioning correctly; I could hardly see straight.
Kyuhyun simply nodded, understanding. "Alright," He said, getting up. "Sleep well, hyung," He said, pressing a kiss to my forehead before going back to his laptop.
Needless to say, I had quite the hard time sleeping at all that night.
The following morning, the room was completely deserted; there was no sign of Kyuhyun anywhere, not even a messy bed like normal. His bed was completely made, there were no dirty clothes on the floor, and the nightlight that he insists on having (because he can't be tripping over his clothes in the night, he says) was gone.
Was it just a dream? I wondered, laying on my back. I counted the pockmarks in the ceiling and sighed, confused out of my wits. Did I make things awkward by pulling away last night?
Or what's worse, did it even happen? I couldn't be sure; it could have just been a twisted, fucked-up dream that my hungry conscience produced to throw me completely off-balance.
And if that was the case, it worked.
Weeks passed, and things didn't get any better. There were no signs that what had happened between us was anything other than a stupid dream, which got me thinking. Was I falling in love with Kyuhyun? Sure, he was cute. He was funny. He was talented to boot. But I didn't get the feeling in my chest like my heart was going to burst out of my chest when he was around. Sure, I got a little tongue-tied, and I really missed him when he was gone, but that didn't mean anything.
So I decided to talk to the only person who I knew would understand what I was going through.
She slurped her Passion Tea Lemonade and crossed her legs, flipping her hair -- freshly dyed a nice light shade of blonde -- over her shoulder.
"So," Sunny said, grinning at me. "Give me the scoop."
"I think I'm getting feelings for Kyuhyun," I said, sighing. "But I don't want to."
She sighed, took another drawn-out sip of her tea. "Can I just ask what's made you so averted to the idea of being in love, Minnie?" She asked, tilting her head. "It's not like it's a bad thing, you know. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world."
I drank some of my green tea Frappucino before answering. "True love isn't real, Sunny Bunny. Love never lasts. My parents divorced when I was nine, and it made me realize that."
Sunny stared at me for a moment, completely dumbfounded. "You're serious." I nodded; she pushed aside her lemonade. "Listen, Min. If you love the guy, so what? From what you tell me, he clearly wants you too." She took my hand and smiled. "So just go for it. It's worth the risk, Minnie. If it doesn't work, you get back on your feet and you try again. Love is such an amazing feeling, and it'd be a shame if you missed out on it because you were scared."
The following day, Kyuhyun and I took a walk through Namsan. It was the end of May, warm, like expected; the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, yellow flowers littering the ground as we went.
"Hyung," He asked, speeding up a little bit so he could turn around to face me, walking backwards. "Why are we here?"
I swallowed; the question I'd been dreading. I sighed and stopped walking, and he did the same. "I guess...to talk?"
"Alright," He took a few steps forward, jammed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Shoot, hyung. What's on your mind?"
I stared at him for a few minutes, lips pursed and eyes stinging with what was possibly the urge to cry.
"I..." I started, then paused. "I think I'm growing a little too fond of you, Kyuhyun."
Kyuhyun's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"I think," I pursed my lips. "I think I'm falling in love with you." I waited a moment before continuing, so I could gauge his reaction; he didn't seem to be really understanding what I was saying. Either that, or he wasn't really too thrilled. "I'm just really scared, Kyu. I've never been in love -- I don't believe in it, you know that, and--"
He took my face in both his hands and pressed his lips gently against mine, his tongue sliding gently against my bottom lip. My knees went weak, and I literally had to wrap my arms around his shoulders to prevent myself from falling on my face. When he finally pulled away, I couldn't breathe.
He looked me in the eye, and that sly, heart-stopping smile spread across his lips. "Glad I can help you believe, then."
I never planned on being in love. It's just not worth the risk to have your heart completely ripped to shreds time after time, looking for the "one." True love just isn't real in my book.
But he...he's the only exception to that.
Sungmin never believed in love, until Kyuhyun showed up.
A/N: I love how much I've been writing lately.
SONG: "The Only Exception" - Lea Michele
There comes a point in one's life where you come across a turning point, where you realize that there's this one person who you can't live without. They're a vital part of your life, like oxygen, maybe water. They're your absolute everything, they're part of you.
Honestly, I found that to be a load of shit. True love wasn't real, didn't exist.
My parents divorced when I was nine, splitting my brother and I up. Perhaps this is why I'm more...erm, feminine than most -- my brother went to stay with my father while I was with my mother. Regardless of whether or not this had an effect on my femininity, it definitely taught me one important lesson; love never lasts. Or at least, that's what my poor mother tried to tell me without outright crushing my dreams of a happy ending. She burned all of the memorabilia of my father, every last picture and item of clothing he bought her and every letter from his stint in the army. Gone in an instant, engulfed by dancing flames in front of my nine year old eyes.
But of course, that's not to say that I didn't believe in sex. By the age of fifteen, sex was something I was very, very familiar with. I lost my virginity in my eighth grade year, to an older girl -- I feel horrible saying this, because I can't even remember her name. Regardless, it happened, and from then on I was stuck. I was just so caught up in the whirlwind of it all, I just felt this insatiable need for it, much more than the need to eat or sleep.
And it wasn't like it was limited, oh no. No, my...services, as I began to call them, were for everyone; man or woman. It wasn't like I was getting paid or anything, considering I never slept with anyone who was out of high school, but perhaps maybe I'd get a bowl of soup or some sort of snack before I went home.
Of course, with my graduation from high school, I also graduated onto bigger and better things...sort of. No longer was I forced to play around with high schoolers.
Then I came to be in Super Junior, and things had to change. With this new "idol status" that was being thrust upon me, I could no longer go out prowling the bars and clubs for a quick lay. I could no longer take home a cute boy or girl and call them mine for the night; I had to be good.
It was a hard adjustment. Knowing that I could no longer have my fun, I started becoming (gradually) interested in quite a few of my new roommates -- first being Ryeowook. He was so fragile and feminine, I just couldn't not want him.
Then there was Donghae, but that was short-lived when I saw the way that he used Eunhyuk as an oxygen tank.
I pretty much bounced from one member to the next, hanging on them like a little lost puppy, and most of the time that resulted in my getting absolutely nothing. There were only a few members I stayed away from, one of them being Kyuhyun.
But why, you're probably wondering. Why? He's cute, he's funny, he's extremely talented. For some reason, though he just never caught my eye.
He kind of annoyed me, actually. He got drunk too much, he played too many video games. He was too sarcastic, too loud when he laughed, he was just...too much.
The annoyance started off with little things. "Hyung," He would say to me, his eyes glued to his laptop as if it were hypnotizing him. "Make me some soup."
"No," I would say, flipping through channels on the television. "I'm busy."
"Hyung," He would whine. "Make me some soup!"
Or the fact that he would always leave messes strewn about the apartment -- a sock here, a shoe there, a shirt here, some pants there. It was such a turn-off, how disorganized and disorderly he was, and it just put me right off of him. I couldn't help it.
Gradually, though, we did become friends. We shared a room, so it was hard not to get along, especially with his...infectious personality. He spent a lot of time on his laptop, out of my way for the most part, but he still had a very noticeable presence in the room. We would discuss an assortment of things, but mainly work. Starcraft was another common subject; he even tried to teach me how to play, but that was like teaching a fish how to breathe out of water -- impossible.
"Hyung," He would say to me, laughing. "Do you even know how to turn on a computer?"
It was this kind of humor that gradually brought us closer.
Pretty soon, his company was something I actually enjoyed. I would notice when he was gone, and it was like something was missing. He was becoming something important to me, something I relied on during the day to help everything run smoothly.
It was a frightening discovery, when I realized that without him around, I was horribly lonely.
I wouldn't admit that something was growing between us; there was just no way. For Christ's sake, I'm Lee Sungmin. Lee Sungmin does not feel any sort of attachment to people, it's just understood.
But something was growing between us, and quickly so. Everyone noticed, too, by the way Kyuhyun would slap my arm playfully, or I'd bump his leg ever so gently at the dinner table. But we never spoke anything of it, he and I; it was just something we did.
One night, I couldn't sleep; it was the middle of May, and the air conditioning was broken. It was around three AM, and Kyuhyun was, of course, awake and on his laptop per usual, but he was in such a daze that I was sure he'd be using his keyboard as a pillow at any point. I tossed and turned in bed, unable to drift off, the heat wrapping around my like an envelope and causing my sheets to stick to me like a second skin. I couldn't breathe, either; the air was so thick with moisture that it was like that feeling you get when you get soap in your mouth in the shower and everything is all clammy. It was like having Kyuhyun in the room was too much; the shared oxygen left me with too little to sufficiently breathe.
"Kyuhyun," I whined, rolling onto my side to face his bed. "I can't sleep."
He turned to me and popped the headphones out of his ears. "Sorry hyung, what'd you say?"
"I can't sleep," I repeated, rolling my eyes.
Kyuhyun nodded and got up, coming over to the bed and taking a seat. "Scoot over," He said. I obliged, pressing myself against the wall next to me; he laid down as well, looking me dead in the eye. "Why can't you sleep, hyung?"
I tried not to look at Kyuhyun; he was far too close for comfort. I could feel his breath, bated and restrained, against my lips. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, my cheeks red.
"Too hot in here," I said, sighing. "Fucking air conditioner needs to work." Uncomfortable silence ensued for a few moments, the air only seeming to get thicker as it went on.
Suddenly, Kyuhyun's hand was on my arm, fingers sliding up and down as slowly as possible. He sighed, smiling at me before speaking. "Of course it's hot in here, hyung," He said with a sly smirk. "You're in here, after all."
"Shut up," I laughed, although something caught in my throat and it came out choked. He smiled and continued to rub my arm.
"Maybe I don't want to," He said, scooting a little closer. My eyes darted to him, and there was a look on his face I couldn't read. My breath hitched in my throat as he continued to close the distance between us; he rolled me onto my side so I could face him, and his breath was once again on my lips. My mind panicked, much like a mouse being hunted by an owl, frantic and disoriented.
"Wh--" I started, but paused. "What are you doing?"
His finger was suddenly on my lips. "Shh, hyung," He whispered, his eyes heavy and dark. "Just relax. I'll help you sleep."
He then closed the distance between us, and my first thought was that my lips felt like sparklers; there was an electricity there that I'd never felt with anyone else I'd ever kissed, and believe me, there were a lot of them. It was like the wind had been completely knocked out of me; I was relying on him to breathe, he was my oxygen tank. I ran my fingers through his hair slowly and gripped lightly, a moan coming from my lips.
But I stopped. Pushed him off and caught my breath as quick as I could. "Wh...No," I said sternly. "I - I can't. Too much." My brain still wasn't functioning correctly; I could hardly see straight.
Kyuhyun simply nodded, understanding. "Alright," He said, getting up. "Sleep well, hyung," He said, pressing a kiss to my forehead before going back to his laptop.
Needless to say, I had quite the hard time sleeping at all that night.
The following morning, the room was completely deserted; there was no sign of Kyuhyun anywhere, not even a messy bed like normal. His bed was completely made, there were no dirty clothes on the floor, and the nightlight that he insists on having (because he can't be tripping over his clothes in the night, he says) was gone.
Was it just a dream? I wondered, laying on my back. I counted the pockmarks in the ceiling and sighed, confused out of my wits. Did I make things awkward by pulling away last night?
Or what's worse, did it even happen? I couldn't be sure; it could have just been a twisted, fucked-up dream that my hungry conscience produced to throw me completely off-balance.
And if that was the case, it worked.
Weeks passed, and things didn't get any better. There were no signs that what had happened between us was anything other than a stupid dream, which got me thinking. Was I falling in love with Kyuhyun? Sure, he was cute. He was funny. He was talented to boot. But I didn't get the feeling in my chest like my heart was going to burst out of my chest when he was around. Sure, I got a little tongue-tied, and I really missed him when he was gone, but that didn't mean anything.
So I decided to talk to the only person who I knew would understand what I was going through.
She slurped her Passion Tea Lemonade and crossed her legs, flipping her hair -- freshly dyed a nice light shade of blonde -- over her shoulder.
"So," Sunny said, grinning at me. "Give me the scoop."
"I think I'm getting feelings for Kyuhyun," I said, sighing. "But I don't want to."
She sighed, took another drawn-out sip of her tea. "Can I just ask what's made you so averted to the idea of being in love, Minnie?" She asked, tilting her head. "It's not like it's a bad thing, you know. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world."
I drank some of my green tea Frappucino before answering. "True love isn't real, Sunny Bunny. Love never lasts. My parents divorced when I was nine, and it made me realize that."
Sunny stared at me for a moment, completely dumbfounded. "You're serious." I nodded; she pushed aside her lemonade. "Listen, Min. If you love the guy, so what? From what you tell me, he clearly wants you too." She took my hand and smiled. "So just go for it. It's worth the risk, Minnie. If it doesn't work, you get back on your feet and you try again. Love is such an amazing feeling, and it'd be a shame if you missed out on it because you were scared."
The following day, Kyuhyun and I took a walk through Namsan. It was the end of May, warm, like expected; the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, yellow flowers littering the ground as we went.
"Hyung," He asked, speeding up a little bit so he could turn around to face me, walking backwards. "Why are we here?"
I swallowed; the question I'd been dreading. I sighed and stopped walking, and he did the same. "I guess...to talk?"
"Alright," He took a few steps forward, jammed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Shoot, hyung. What's on your mind?"
I stared at him for a few minutes, lips pursed and eyes stinging with what was possibly the urge to cry.
"I..." I started, then paused. "I think I'm growing a little too fond of you, Kyuhyun."
Kyuhyun's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"I think," I pursed my lips. "I think I'm falling in love with you." I waited a moment before continuing, so I could gauge his reaction; he didn't seem to be really understanding what I was saying. Either that, or he wasn't really too thrilled. "I'm just really scared, Kyu. I've never been in love -- I don't believe in it, you know that, and--"
He took my face in both his hands and pressed his lips gently against mine, his tongue sliding gently against my bottom lip. My knees went weak, and I literally had to wrap my arms around his shoulders to prevent myself from falling on my face. When he finally pulled away, I couldn't breathe.
He looked me in the eye, and that sly, heart-stopping smile spread across his lips. "Glad I can help you believe, then."
I never planned on being in love. It's just not worth the risk to have your heart completely ripped to shreds time after time, looking for the "one." True love just isn't real in my book.
But he...he's the only exception to that.