Trust
My biggest fear is something happening to my son. Either he is harmed in some way or even worse I think someone taking him away from me. You have to understand that in my life so far I have done very few if anything right. I could have done so much more with my life I know that. But now above all else I have Joshie. He is everything to me and I would give up everything in this world to make sure he is safe and happy, and right now I fear more then anything him being taken away. This is a actual possibility now. My own brother the man I trust more then anything in this whole world has put me in the position to loose my son. There is a whole lot to the story that its only right for him to tell but the part that involves me is Joshie got out of the house. Not once but twice while Z was suppose to be watching him while I worked. Both times the police brought him home. Now the first time I almost get Dad left for work Z was sleeping Deanna was suppose to keep an eye on him and she feel asleep and Josh followed Dad out of the house on his way to work. From our figuring he was only outside moments but due to living super close to the police station they caught it and really I am greatful cause had they not god only knows how long he would be outside. Z is in a bit of trouble due to it and there was pot and parifinallia around the house as well and the cops took that and thats included in the child endangerment charge. That happened a week ago. Then today Joshie gets up Z is asleep and Joshie goes outside. Now I get that I have done something wrong there Josh does not gt that he cannot go out by himself I suppose I failed there. But its never really come up. If he wants to go outside we go so I guess he just doesnt get that its not safe by himself and I need to correct that. But today we have no idea how long he was gone and the police found him in the street in the god damn street a block up from Steves house. If you ask Josh he says that he was going to the bank. But how is it possible that I put my faith in him and he fails like that with the safety of his only nephew twice in a week. If I die Z is suppose to be the person that will be responsible for Josh for the rest of his life, but if I cannot leave him alone with Josh for 8 hours without something like this happening how can I trust him with Joshie forever. Then today I geet a call from Children Services, and they want to meet with me. In my experience once you are in their system they dont let up. They are like a dog with bone. I am a good mother but due to someone elses actions they have the power to take my baby away from me. I would do anythign for him and its entirely possible that the one thing they ask if for me to keep Josh away from his uncle. This is so complicated. I have no idea how to express into words how scared and sad I am. damn him