tired
This is from my "regular journal" which can be found at darknesstodaylight.blogspot.com
I don't like myself when I'm tired. I think about the wrong things too much. I realized today that my daydreaming about an alternate universe Ashley is more destructive than daydreaming about triggery crush. So I did daydream about triggery crush, and its okay. I mean, I do dream a bit about him...him as someone who is a friend first, who tries to understand what he doesn't understand. Which is a bit like me admitting his biggest flaw, yes?
So, I took a long walk and it was fab, and then I walked through the park and felt okay with my thoughts. I skipped my last therapy appointment because of my work schedule. Of course, the time I rescheduled for doesn't work with my work schedule but I'm going anyway. I don't want to skip two in a row-once is fine, but two begins a pattern and its a pattern I don't need or want.
Next week is invantory at work, which I hate but thankfully its only once a year. My dad is laid up with gout-he's at the dr right now. I'm sort of meh and tired and meh. So I'm going to read and rest and later go to the pharmasy and pick up my meds.
I don't like myself when I'm tired. I think about the wrong things too much. I realized today that my daydreaming about an alternate universe Ashley is more destructive than daydreaming about triggery crush. So I did daydream about triggery crush, and its okay. I mean, I do dream a bit about him...him as someone who is a friend first, who tries to understand what he doesn't understand. Which is a bit like me admitting his biggest flaw, yes?
So, I took a long walk and it was fab, and then I walked through the park and felt okay with my thoughts. I skipped my last therapy appointment because of my work schedule. Of course, the time I rescheduled for doesn't work with my work schedule but I'm going anyway. I don't want to skip two in a row-once is fine, but two begins a pattern and its a pattern I don't need or want.
Next week is invantory at work, which I hate but thankfully its only once a year. My dad is laid up with gout-he's at the dr right now. I'm sort of meh and tired and meh. So I'm going to read and rest and later go to the pharmasy and pick up my meds.