I'm going to be immortal. I f-cking swear it.
Lately, some friends of mine have been telling me that I never act my age. It's a strange thing, really: half of these friends insist that I have the mentality of a seven-year-old, whereas the other half think me to be "wise beyond my years." For some reason, I can't help but to feel uncomfortable with the second opinion; whether it's forced modesty on my part or honest disbelief I can't say for sure, but seriously, look at me. I'm a guy who, at random, answers his phone by going "Pika-pikachuu!" or "Garden House! You like fry rice?" Does that sound anything remotely like someone "wise beyond his years"? I mean, Jesus Chrysler, some of my crowning achievements in life include winning a 52-minute Tetris Attack round and drinking a bottle of Sunny Delight in under seven seconds. The reason for my excessive youthfulness: so that old age won't affect me as harshly. In that, by the time I'm in my forties, maybe then I'll finally have grown up.
All I know for certain is that above all else, I'm going to be immortal. I f-cking swear it. I refuse to die. That whole line from Family Guy, where Stoned Stewie tells Equally Stoned Brian that we only die because we accept it as an inevitability? Absolutely true. If I remain steadfast in my belief, I'm certain I'll remain immortal. If anything, David Copperfield recently claimed to have found the Fountain of Youth, and you all know how much I love water.
For the record, heavy metal isn't dead. It's sleeping. Loudly.
All I know for certain is that above all else, I'm going to be immortal. I f-cking swear it. I refuse to die. That whole line from Family Guy, where Stoned Stewie tells Equally Stoned Brian that we only die because we accept it as an inevitability? Absolutely true. If I remain steadfast in my belief, I'm certain I'll remain immortal. If anything, David Copperfield recently claimed to have found the Fountain of Youth, and you all know how much I love water.
For the record, heavy metal isn't dead. It's sleeping. Loudly.