Boys.

[napchic]

Me: *rushes around bathroom like banshie try to dress for afternoon out with peeps*

We: are so fucking late

Me: *walks into bedroom*
"ARE YOU ASLEEP?!"

Spouse: *groggily* "What!? Never."

Me: "Have you just jacked off!?!?"

Spouse: "heh heh."

Effing Boys.