Make em say unhhhhhhh...na na na na.
well i lost one of my favorite crystals today on the max. i dont know if i lost it or if it liberated itself or what. all i know is it is no longer with me. dont really matter though. ive been meaning to simplify my game and it was a little outdated. ive been gettin rid of more and more...feelin fresher and fresher. i have found out that if i constantly watch everyone around mes back at the same time, i dont have to pay a fucks attention to what im doing...i will be protected. i dont have to think. its all just automatic. haha i fell of my skateboard on the way back from downtown...and i did a front flip off and landed safely...way badass. and on the way home on the max...my ticket was more than an hour expired, and the inspector asks me for my transfer. i pull it out and hand it to him...he looks at id, hands it back and says "thank you." nuff said...thats just swell. i saw an old friend that i went to high school with on the max...she didnt look very happy with her life at the moment. i tried cheerin her up...but i think there is something locked up inside some women that they are just dyin to let out but cant quite muster the i dunno...its like you know if you told me what was making your life a living hell maybe it wouldnt be so bad anymore. i feel that way with most of the women i talk to. lol. whatever though. i dunno. it seems that people are starting to realise its me. or im starting to open up and let them realise its me again and not be scared. thats pretty cool. tonight was a very wonderful night. too bad i work at 6 in the am. and still dont have one friend that i can name. who needs friends when the creator is on your side huh. then everyone is your best bud. even if nobody is specifically your best friend. it just sucks im kind of stuck in like a seperate entity state. i dont know. im like a neutral party. im just like that thing in the background that nobody pays attention to. that thing that fills in the cracks. im that "what the fuck was that thing" when you jerk your head tryin to catch a glimpse of whatever it is you saw...the keeper of the beat. open channel. let your voice be heard. i pass information from one to the other...just a bridge between worlds. bridge between the sexes. i will absorb your pain and put it to constructive use. i will help you manifest your hopes and dreams. let your voice be heard. i will share my youth and beauty and creativity with each thing i encounter. i will stand up and make myself known most importantly. i have been gathering for so long...just sitting in the shadows absorbing information like mad. remaining hidden at all times. i have decided that now is my time to open the doors. by not judging or assigning labels to anything i encounter, i am completely free of such things. whatever i put in motion is whatever will come back to me. i am ready to stand up and be a member of the human fucking race. finally lol. i was for a short while, and then for a year and a half i just wasnt right for some reason. i had somethin i needed to find for myself. anyhow. its really nice. no matter what comes my way i am always prepared. and still something about spiders. the spider is just a machine (following a veeeery extended metaphor...) i dunno some kid told me to make the spider explode. printed that in a huuuuge way. was like a fucking war zone in my head. like a damned atom bomb. certain people were trying to do me harm...still i survive. dont need your mindfuck bullshit. goodnight all. fall and winter are where its atttttt. time to come alive for damned sure. i can feel it all around me. this is only just beginning to get good. first had to find balance...and my last thought...who knew it would be so difficult to find people to toke free organic smoke?! what the fuck is wrong with you portlanders...act like im gonna bite or something. im trying to be generous with my favorite thing on the face of the fucking planet...kind of not your every day stuff...and people look at me like im dumb...until they try it. then its OOOOOOOOOOOOOH. yeah oooh is right. duh i tried to tell you!!! ha