gawd dayum.....
ok i havent updated this shit in fucking forever....i dunno i have been spending much time on tribe.net. My pro is http://people.tribe.net/desertstorm Check it out. join and add me as a friend if youd like. its much more interesting than LJ thats for sure. i dunno about this post. which way is it gonna go? is it gonna be an insane rant about all of my frustrations, or about all of the things that are going wrong or right...not sure yet.
what i am sure of though is I TURN 21 ON SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA fuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuuuu neeeeeegaaaaaah!!!!! i can get drunk with the legality now bitch! for my birthday i plan on buying myself an acoustic/electric bass, because nobody is gonna buy me anything. so i am gonna drop some fundage on a new instrument. i fixed my guitar that has been in need of repair for 6+ months. very nice. I have been goin out and starting to reintegrate myself into society, and to not be emotionally shut off/unavailable...and actually connecting and loving people once again. it was hard for a bit i forgot how to love. sounds weird, but thats pretty much what happened. on wednesday i went for a 7 hour hike with some guy id never met before, and it was fucking awesome. hes like in his 50s...an old hippy guy. it was nice to actually open up and talk to someone about my experiences in the past year and a half, without fear of being judged. it was really the first time i had told anyone any of this stuff. he had some very nice insights into my situation, and then we proceeded to talk about life and god and everything in between after that. a very nice time. it would be nice to be able to talk to them more, because i feel i have the words to describe my experience a bit better now, so people can understand what i am talking about. for the longest time i could not communicate any of the things i was feeling or seeing to anyone, and it was fucking driving me crazy. im really glad now that i have my mental state where it should be. its just hard when you lose yourself and nobody can bring you back. what do you do when you look in the mirror into your eyes and no part of what once was remains. scary fuckin shit.
Well i would like to hang out with either new or old friends...so if you have known me in one of my past lives, or are reading this, but have never hung out with me...please do so!!!!!! leave a comment, call me (503)-347-1376, or hit me on aim The Geogaddi I actually will be posting pictures of me after my birthday (cause i get a usb card for my camera)...i got some fuckin sexy pics of me. not to mention of my pit bull indica. shes really the sexy one. not me. but thats ok. im fine with living in her shadow.
Alright i could type on and on but im done for today. maybe more tomorrow; if youre lucky.
what i am sure of though is I TURN 21 ON SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA fuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuuuu neeeeeegaaaaaah!!!!! i can get drunk with the legality now bitch! for my birthday i plan on buying myself an acoustic/electric bass, because nobody is gonna buy me anything. so i am gonna drop some fundage on a new instrument. i fixed my guitar that has been in need of repair for 6+ months. very nice. I have been goin out and starting to reintegrate myself into society, and to not be emotionally shut off/unavailable...and actually connecting and loving people once again. it was hard for a bit i forgot how to love. sounds weird, but thats pretty much what happened. on wednesday i went for a 7 hour hike with some guy id never met before, and it was fucking awesome. hes like in his 50s...an old hippy guy. it was nice to actually open up and talk to someone about my experiences in the past year and a half, without fear of being judged. it was really the first time i had told anyone any of this stuff. he had some very nice insights into my situation, and then we proceeded to talk about life and god and everything in between after that. a very nice time. it would be nice to be able to talk to them more, because i feel i have the words to describe my experience a bit better now, so people can understand what i am talking about. for the longest time i could not communicate any of the things i was feeling or seeing to anyone, and it was fucking driving me crazy. im really glad now that i have my mental state where it should be. its just hard when you lose yourself and nobody can bring you back. what do you do when you look in the mirror into your eyes and no part of what once was remains. scary fuckin shit.
Well i would like to hang out with either new or old friends...so if you have known me in one of my past lives, or are reading this, but have never hung out with me...please do so!!!!!! leave a comment, call me (503)-347-1376, or hit me on aim The Geogaddi I actually will be posting pictures of me after my birthday (cause i get a usb card for my camera)...i got some fuckin sexy pics of me. not to mention of my pit bull indica. shes really the sexy one. not me. but thats ok. im fine with living in her shadow.
Alright i could type on and on but im done for today. maybe more tomorrow; if youre lucky.