nine // public post

[napaealms]

Coming home from work was AWFUL AWFUL today. I had self-heating gloves on and layers and layers of clothes, looked like one of those baggy old cat ladies, all swaddled up in hobo clothes, but still! Still, I crawled through the doorway half-dead! How is that even fair?

-- and it doesn't help that Varkins always demanded I bet at work at INHUMANE

Comments

[lungfucked]

hey toooooooonks. 'least you didn't step in frozen dog turds.

not like i did

...

[napaealms]

. . . I bet it's still on your boots.

You are like a little boy who gets let out on his own and comes home SMELLING, I swear.

[lungfucked]

pffft, i got more class that that you dildo.

no way dude, i smell hardcore, like smokes and booze and piss. chick's dig it...no really!

tonks give me a bath

[napaealms]

I'M A CHICK AND I DON'T DIG IT.

You do not, you smell like an old sofa that's sat on for too long by an old video game playing fat man, okay. I know this. I've smelled you. OFTEN. Mostly while you were sleeping, but . . . .

No, big boy, you can take a bath ALL. BY. YOURSELF. Okaaaaay?

[lungfucked]

haha.ah.uh -- yeah well, you're a dyke.

O-OI! look if you just wanna hop into bed with me...you could just ask ya'know, show you a good time and all that jazz

no fuck you i'm going to piss all over your door

[napaealms]

OH THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY WE MACKED ON EACH OTHER AS LITTLE KIDS ALL OF THE TIME

BECAUSE YOU LOOK SO GIRLY

WITH THE HAIR

hey no i am the one with all the sexual prowess in this relationship, okay?

I'll turn you into a hairbrush if you do that, I swear.

Hey, are we doing Christmas together? The blizzard's stopping me from going home to the family this year.

[lungfucked]

............

............

shut up balloon-tits and don't turn me into something you brush your pubes with, weirdo.

yeah alright, oi, i'll come to your place, my oven is fuuuuucked. some freaky albino creeper and handcuffed me to the handle thing and i had to break it off, so yeah.

[napaealms]

Oh, you're so crude, don't eveeeeeeeeeeen. And why would I brush any of my hair, stupid, I can just morph it. Pfft.

Bring him, too. We will all be one warm, happy family! And I will tell him not do such kinky things to dear, pure Baddy-Bou. Because that is my job.

[lungfucked]

then why the shitdicks would you turn me into a brush jeez

wha -- wait! why the hell do we gotta bring that guy! fucking cock almost made me blind and crap

[napaealms]

I was using it as an example! I'll turn you into, mm, a shirt instead. Or something.

Wait, what -- seriously? What he'd do to you?

[lungfucked]

...

awesome, a shirt. my dreams have finally come true.

he threw a fucking flash grenade in my place and punched me and fucking handcuffed me to the oven! christ...was kinda shitting myself, thought he was gonna give me a striptease or something

[napaealms]

Oh, wait, that would put you up close to some poor girl's titties -- no, er. A JOCKSTRAP. TURN YOU INTO A JOCKSTRAP.

-- what -- I'll beat his ass. No bloody little pissant can do that to my friends -- where's he's living, I'll charge him so quickly with battery and assault, he won't know what hit him.

[lungfucked]

i'm gonna punch you in the vag

uhhh, i kinda forgot...

[napaealms]

You won't, you're a gentleman. And besides -- you wouldn't do that to your favorite person ever!

What's his name? I'll find him. Throwing around flash grenades does not fly.

[lungfucked]

OF COURSE I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO MR. SQUIGGLE ARE YOU CRAZY!?

uhh -- haine something....um, haine ramm-something something my asshole

[napaealms]

. . . you named my vagina?