My lanyard
So, today during my supervision my sup was talking with me about the importance of not waiting until the last minute to respond to a referral because if we go over the assigned time and they get hurt , we failed to check in with them within the prescribed timeframe it's our ass on the line, which in all honesty is fucking hilarious because all week I have been champing at the bit to go out and get this shit moving but they have been holding me back trying to get me to go out with a senior worker or a coach to oversee my interviewing skills. Well I just kinda went on one of my autistic rants on her and asked her if she see my lanyard. She said yes and I told her I fucking hate the walking dead, but I wear this thing to remind me to treat every case like a life is on the line.
Back when I was transitioning into my job at a therapist at the foster care residential program there was one kid who was just doing his own thing and didn't give a single fuck about the rules and the program expectations. The outgoing therapist even discouraged my attempts to build rapport with him citing that he would be on his way out due to non compliance, and I called him out on that bullshit attitude. I told him. I don't give a fuck if he is here for a day or a year, I wanna convey to him that there are people in the "system" that genuinely care for him and just because he acts like a ln asshat we can divorce behavior from the person and still value them for the person they are. I wanted this kid to still feel like people care and can help him wherever he ends up and it's not just a bunch of carless mooks out for a paycheck wherever he land and hopefully connect with a future service provider. Anyway this kid up and left and wound up purposely ODing on pills in his next placement and this tacky fucking lanyard if what he gave to me the last day he was at that program as a gift. He died and what I did wasn't enough, but I tried. I knew I gave it the best fucking God damn effort I could. It stings knowing all that I tried was not enough. I questioned my worth and my abilities, but I shook it off and focused that energy on growing and learning. I feel the drive to better myself and hopefully improve the outcome of the next lost soul teetering on the brink of self-destruction I come into contact with.
So I summarize this for my supervisor and tell her this is a reminder that we are dealing with people's lives and to take everything seriously and not let anything slip through the cracks. This weight on my shoulders, literally, holding up my credentials is a reminder to just fucking do my best for everyone I serve.
Back when I was transitioning into my job at a therapist at the foster care residential program there was one kid who was just doing his own thing and didn't give a single fuck about the rules and the program expectations. The outgoing therapist even discouraged my attempts to build rapport with him citing that he would be on his way out due to non compliance, and I called him out on that bullshit attitude. I told him. I don't give a fuck if he is here for a day or a year, I wanna convey to him that there are people in the "system" that genuinely care for him and just because he acts like a ln asshat we can divorce behavior from the person and still value them for the person they are. I wanted this kid to still feel like people care and can help him wherever he ends up and it's not just a bunch of carless mooks out for a paycheck wherever he land and hopefully connect with a future service provider. Anyway this kid up and left and wound up purposely ODing on pills in his next placement and this tacky fucking lanyard if what he gave to me the last day he was at that program as a gift. He died and what I did wasn't enough, but I tried. I knew I gave it the best fucking God damn effort I could. It stings knowing all that I tried was not enough. I questioned my worth and my abilities, but I shook it off and focused that energy on growing and learning. I feel the drive to better myself and hopefully improve the outcome of the next lost soul teetering on the brink of self-destruction I come into contact with.
So I summarize this for my supervisor and tell her this is a reminder that we are dealing with people's lives and to take everything seriously and not let anything slip through the cracks. This weight on my shoulders, literally, holding up my credentials is a reminder to just fucking do my best for everyone I serve.