Life without Katie; Naomi/Emily, Katie (first attempt)
My first attempt at fanfic. I know it's not great, but comments (inc. constructive criticsm) would be appreciated :) This could be the beginning of something; will probably continue it at some point but would like some feedback before I do!...thanks in advance :)
"Jesus, Ems, what the fuck?" Naomi approaches her in her usual blunt manner, but there's an unusual gentleness to her tone that's becoming increasingly frequent these days. They're beginning to feel like a real couple, as opposed to a dirty little secret. and in becoming much closer they've sort of...blended together, a bit. They're still very different characters - Naomi's still a strictly no-nonsense, people-hating political loudmouth and Emily's still sweet and clingy and a bit of a pushover but Naomi's become a lot less brash - at least towards Emily; Katie, and anyone else who dares to stand in the way of her or, even worse, Emily, is a different matter - and rude, while Emily's finally learning to stand up for herself a bit more. And, of course, they have their issues, like everyone does, but for the most part it's actually rather fucking fantastic and Emily wouldn't want that to change, wants to hold onto it forever and never let it go.
But now....Emily can't think straight, her head spinning. She clutches Naomi's for support, steadying herself, willing herself not to pass out, not now.....
"Emily?" She can hear the concern in her girlfriend's voice, and any other time it'd make her happy, unbelievably, overwhelmingly happy. But not now.
What the fuck is she doing here anyway? she wonders, suddenly feeling unbelievably stupid. Naomi and Katie were - are; she needs to stop thinking of Katie in the past tense like this, because she's going to be fine, because she's Katie fucking Fitch, the strong twin and there's nothing she can't do - not exactly the best of friends. Emily feels an overwhelming rush of guilt as she remembers how she felt torn between them; how she chose Naomi, became more and more detached from her sister, barely even noticing that the Katie Fitch the world knew was slowly disappearing. She'd never guessed how much the rock had affected Katie, which was fucking stupid, really, because she'd nearly died, hadn't she? And now she still might. Killed by Effy fucking Stonem. Effy should be the one feeling guilty; the one being left to pick up the pieces, but where was she? Fuck knows. Probably off fucking Freddie, or Cook, or pretty much anyone for that matter, because Effy makes even Katie look practically fucking virginal.
"Emily?!" Naomi grabs her hand, drags her inside the house and looks at her with big, blue, pleading eyes, "Please, Ems. What is it? Just tell me."
Emily can see the utter love and fear in Naomi's eyes, and despite everything she can't help but feel a slight rush of pleasure. She pushes this feeling to the back of her mind, forces herself to press on, though all she really wants is to collapse into her girlfriend's arms and forget all about the world outside, all about her sister - her feisty, glamorous, brilliantly bitchy sister, strong and tough and utterly undefeatable - lying in a hospital bed, unable even to breathe without a machine doing it for her.
She feels a massive lump begin to rise in her throat, and swallows it down furiously. Katie's not there to be the strong one, so she's going to have to be strong for once, isn't she? She's been getting better at it lately. Not as good as Katie, but she wouldn't expect that, not when she's spent her whole life living in Katie's shadow. She's been trying to break free of it for so long, and then, when she finally gets close, Katie has to go and do something really fucking stupid, something Emily could've stopped if she'd tried, if she'd cared enough, but she didn't; she was much too caught up in her own little bubble of her and Naomi to realise that Katie was hurting, breaking, fading...
"It's Katie," she spoke finally, her voice coming out a hoarse whisper, "She's...there's been an...an...accident." She looks up at Naomi, with big, pleading eyes. "Come with me...please?"
Naomi can't really protest - not with Emily in the state she's in - but she does question her all the way to the hospital; what kind of accident, how bad is it, what happened. Emily answers in monosyllables but Naomi persists, eventually causing Emily to break down and admit the truth; the truth that she had come home from Naomi's, bright-eyed and full of the joys of spring, just a couple of hours earlier, to find Katie in the bathroom, wearing nothing but an old nightgown, her limp, seemingly lifeless body - only then did Emily realise just how thin Katie had got; she was practically skeletal, her bones jutting out at awkward angles - propped up against the bath. An empty packet of fuck knows what kind of pills lay on the floor beside her. After the initial shock, Emily had gone into auto-pilot; calling the ambulance, telling her parents, and going to the hospital, where she stood outside, declining the offer to go inside, not wanting to see Katie again; not in that state. She had slipped off to get Naomi - convinced herself that her presence would somehow make it all alright - and it was only when she was standing outside her house in the pouring rain, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, that what had happened really set in, and that the guilt and pain and worry really started to set in.
Naomi holds her, caresses her in her arms; she's so gentle, more soft and safe than the old Emily, in the old days of wistful staring, ever imagined she could be; and for a second it's almost alright; but soon enough the moment's over and reality sets in again, clouding her mind with hopeless, desperate, empty worrying thoughts that she can't seem to escape.
The woman at the hospital takes a long time to find Katie's name, and for a horrible moment Emily starts to fear the worst; that maybe Katie's...she can't quite bring herself to say it, or even to think it, but it's there, that horrible, lingering doubt that won't leave her alone. Eventually, though, the woman finds the name and sends them off in some direction that Emily doesn't hear because she's too busy fretting, but luckily Naomi is a little more organised and heads them off in what Emily can only assume (or hope, at the very least) is the right direction. They come to a small, individual room; Katie's skeleton of a body lying totally still on the bed, looking possibly even further from alive than when Emily first found her, slumped on the bathroom floor. And she's all fucking wired up; Emily doesn't know the technical term, all she knows is that the shell of her sister and a load of breathing apparatus is all that remains of her sister at that moment, and the idea that the real Katie, the Katie she knows and sometimes hates but mostly loves, because she's her fucking twin, and it's not like she's got any choice, might never return...it just makes her so unbelievably sad, the very concept of life without Katie, that she can't bring herself to even consider it. Their parents stand at the side, looks of utter disbelief spread across their face. Like Emily, it seems they too were completely oblivious to Katie's pain, too caught up in mantaining the reputation of the oh-so perfect Fitch family to notice that one member of it was slowly wasting away. James isn't there; it's apparently "too upsetting", and so he's been sent off to Gordon Macpherson's for the day, with barely even an explanation given as to where Kate had gone (she'd had "a little accident" - Emily thought her parents were fucking ridiculous, treating him like he was 5 when he was actually 12, and had a right to know what was going on).
Rob and Jenna look up briefly when Emily walks in, giving her only a very vague nod of acknowledgement, but Jenna does a double take when she sees Naomi close behind, her eyes practically popping out of her head. In other circumstances Emily might have laughed. As it is, she just wants to cry.
"Look, just fucking leave it, okay?" she says, when her mum opens her mouth to complain, "I need her here right now. I just fucking need her." She hears her voice crack, and prays she won't start crying. A brief look of anger flashes across Jenna's face, but is soon replaced by one of sad weariness; the expression of someone very old and tired, who has been fighting so long that they've almost forgotten what it is that they're fighting for.
"Fine," she sighs, "Your - your friend can stay. For now."