Mar 16, 2011 00:03
this spring break is So. Fucking. BORING!!!
ugh, well that guy i talked about in my last post did like me. he asked me out the day after & we went out for about 3 weeks. then we broke up. im not even sure why.
i never even kissed him. now im not sure wether to be glad about that or not. i mean i never kissed him so it shows he never really loved me like he said cause he wasnt willing to wait for me. & it also means that i still havent kissed a boy. :(
& i still remeber one of the things he told me in our last phone conversation. he said " i hope u find a better guy than me " or something like that. :'( im trying baby i really am. i know theres better guys oout there but u made me happy. u really did even though u would shut up about sex & was sometimes a jerk. whenever i hanged up i was smiling & everytime i thought about u I smiled. u made me smile. remebr when u told me u loved my smile? that it was one of ur favorite thing, hell even the most favorite thing about me?
now im crying. i wonder if i can cry ur memeory out. i read this thing on the internet that made me cry.
it went like this :
Honestly i dont even know what really happend. when i think about it, all i remember is that i tried & i tried really hard. but u didnt seem happy anymore no matter how hard i tried.so i called it quits. all i have ever really wanted is your mesmerizing smile ligthing up my life. & i was just not able to feel that. sorry if ever i have hurt you. but the only thing i wish for now is your happiness. if ever u realize that ur happiness is with me , then ur always welcome. I am & always will be here for u.but even if u happen to find it somewhere else, rest assured i will be the happiest for u. love u.
:'(
idk what to do anymore. i wanna forget him so bad. i havent been able too. it sucks like hell.
anyways i think that everything for now :(
-Naomi
im such an angsty teenager