(no subject)
So, this morning I had 8:30 writing class...but REALLY wasnt in the mood to go. So I called Jake but he had to be in school by 9:15 and didnt have time to get breakfast or anything...so I wound up sitting in the Cumberland Farms parking lot playing drums on my steering wheel to Streetlight and Blink 182 for a good half hour...then I figured I'd go check the waves. So I drove down to avon and sat on the boardwalk thinking and looking at the sunrise...it made me feel really weird about life. Like, the ocean seemed so pure and awesome...and here I am at this fucking enormous crossroad in my life not knowing where to go, screwing up so much, and just having no purpose...
So I sat there from like...9:30 til 10:30 just contemplating life and stuff...and I realized that I'm a complete floater...not having any direction in my life with what I want to do, but still having small interests that I'd like to pursue. I also realized that I dont appreciate my family as much as I should, and pretty much ever since I was un-punished I've dwindled away from them, and that hurts. I dont know...I just sort of feel empty inside and I need to fill that with SOMETHING...it seems like I dont really care about anything in the world, and I NEED to care about something...otherwise I have nothing to live up to.
I dunno, I just needed to get some thoughts out...its been awhile since I actually used this thing for what it was meant for.
And on that note,
So I sat there from like...9:30 til 10:30 just contemplating life and stuff...and I realized that I'm a complete floater...not having any direction in my life with what I want to do, but still having small interests that I'd like to pursue. I also realized that I dont appreciate my family as much as I should, and pretty much ever since I was un-punished I've dwindled away from them, and that hurts. I dont know...I just sort of feel empty inside and I need to fill that with SOMETHING...it seems like I dont really care about anything in the world, and I NEED to care about something...otherwise I have nothing to live up to.
I dunno, I just needed to get some thoughts out...its been awhile since I actually used this thing for what it was meant for.
And on that note,