I'll be old in just 3 days...does life BEGIN at 30??
old, old old old, lol! I'm seriously fucking old, lol.
Really though I joke about it butI am really looking forward to my 30's.
Time for me maybe??
I can't really sit and whine about my 20's...although most of it was spent feeling 40-*sigh*
If i could redo my 20's I would...live before getting married, write more, worry less, learn more, give up less, expect more, want less. Would I do them over again? Hell no-no way-not in a million years. Do you know how much stress I have had in the last 10 years?? OMG-from worrying about how to pay our bills, to dealing with endless doctors and having loads of crap shoved up me and pulled out of me just to have a family. family guilts and pressures, dealing with kevin's car accidemt ad aftermath, hoping and praying EVERY SINGLE day that Josh will someday talk and that Isabella's heart murmer closes and that Hannah being colour blind won't limit her ability to do anything....erghhh I drive myself crazy!! And people think their teenage years are rough!! HA!!
I was thinking about accomplshments and how I didn't actually have any in my 30 years...and then-they hit me..small to others maybe, but huge things when you look at my life...
~I am still alive...there were times when NOT being alive was an option I had considered...but that was long ago and I was a different person-or I like to think I was.
~I no longer throw up after every meal...I can't say I beat Bulemia because barely day goes by that I don't think about it-so really it's not gone. But it has been 5 years since my head last hung over a toilet bowl on purpose-i'm pretty proud of that.
~I've stayed married 10 years...beating most odds...and to a man I'm not sure i was ever really in love with.
~I learned to stand up for myself
~i withstood 16 hours of hard labour before screaming for the drug man to save me, lol.
~I became a mother-3 times.
~I am a good mother.
so no prize winning novel or trips around the world, no plaque on the wall with initials after my name, no acclimations-just peace and patience-I'll take that.
Really though I joke about it butI am really looking forward to my 30's.
Time for me maybe??
I can't really sit and whine about my 20's...although most of it was spent feeling 40-*sigh*
If i could redo my 20's I would...live before getting married, write more, worry less, learn more, give up less, expect more, want less. Would I do them over again? Hell no-no way-not in a million years. Do you know how much stress I have had in the last 10 years?? OMG-from worrying about how to pay our bills, to dealing with endless doctors and having loads of crap shoved up me and pulled out of me just to have a family. family guilts and pressures, dealing with kevin's car accidemt ad aftermath, hoping and praying EVERY SINGLE day that Josh will someday talk and that Isabella's heart murmer closes and that Hannah being colour blind won't limit her ability to do anything....erghhh I drive myself crazy!! And people think their teenage years are rough!! HA!!
I was thinking about accomplshments and how I didn't actually have any in my 30 years...and then-they hit me..small to others maybe, but huge things when you look at my life...
~I am still alive...there were times when NOT being alive was an option I had considered...but that was long ago and I was a different person-or I like to think I was.
~I no longer throw up after every meal...I can't say I beat Bulemia because barely day goes by that I don't think about it-so really it's not gone. But it has been 5 years since my head last hung over a toilet bowl on purpose-i'm pretty proud of that.
~I've stayed married 10 years...beating most odds...and to a man I'm not sure i was ever really in love with.
~I learned to stand up for myself
~i withstood 16 hours of hard labour before screaming for the drug man to save me, lol.
~I became a mother-3 times.
~I am a good mother.
so no prize winning novel or trips around the world, no plaque on the wall with initials after my name, no acclimations-just peace and patience-I'll take that.