Bad things happening to good people in my life.
It's been nearly two weeks since the death of my friend of 45 years, Cokie. I know I shouldn't judge her decision to draw up legal documents against putting her back on dialysis, which would have saved her life.
She was determined to refuse that option, and has spoken vehemently about that issue for years now.
I guess it's her total lack of regard or validation of any feelings of grief or loss experienced by those few friends who remained loyal and tried to be close during this past year.
According to her, she had the right to decide, but we had no right to have needs or feelings about it, whatsoever.
The result is that my grief is complicated, and harder to bear, due to her insisting on no memorial service or event.
Still, my grief will heal and will pass in time. Last Friday was ten years since my dad, Tom, died. He was the same age at the time of his death, as I am now.
More crisis has struck people close to me, all during the same week, it seems. I did a three day training for crime victim advocates who work with domestic violence clients throughout the state of Michigan. It was run by Laura, and one of the participants who trained a group on both days, was a fformer Ear, now living in Ann Arbor, getting her master's in social work. I have known her for five years. She was an Ear for four. The day after she was here at the state training last week, she went back to Ann Arbor, and while at work, she was spotting for a fork lift, which ran into her, when the driver didn't see her until the last minute, and then mistakenly stepped on the gas instead of the break, crushing her between the fork lift and the shelf she was standing in front of.
Laura went to visit her in the surgical I.C.U. in Ann Arbor, while Laura was there for Josh's U. of M. orientation.
Julia has critical injuries to her vital organs, and had major surgery to remove her splean, her left kidney, 30 per cent of her pancreas, part of her intestines. Her heart and lungs were crushed and she's heavily sedated and on a ventilator, and she has broken ribs and broken vertebrae.
But, she is expected to survive, and she's making slow but steady progress, though still unconscious.
My friend Doug's mom had open heart surgery to repair a heart valve, at age 80, and is coming home from the hospital today. So, I have been supporting him by phone and by email, through the process.
Life is finite. Time and friendship is precious. Moments with those we love are special and cherished.
And, the resiliency of the human spirit in the face of adversity is remarkable and amazing.
She was determined to refuse that option, and has spoken vehemently about that issue for years now.
I guess it's her total lack of regard or validation of any feelings of grief or loss experienced by those few friends who remained loyal and tried to be close during this past year.
According to her, she had the right to decide, but we had no right to have needs or feelings about it, whatsoever.
The result is that my grief is complicated, and harder to bear, due to her insisting on no memorial service or event.
Still, my grief will heal and will pass in time. Last Friday was ten years since my dad, Tom, died. He was the same age at the time of his death, as I am now.
More crisis has struck people close to me, all during the same week, it seems. I did a three day training for crime victim advocates who work with domestic violence clients throughout the state of Michigan. It was run by Laura, and one of the participants who trained a group on both days, was a fformer Ear, now living in Ann Arbor, getting her master's in social work. I have known her for five years. She was an Ear for four. The day after she was here at the state training last week, she went back to Ann Arbor, and while at work, she was spotting for a fork lift, which ran into her, when the driver didn't see her until the last minute, and then mistakenly stepped on the gas instead of the break, crushing her between the fork lift and the shelf she was standing in front of.
Laura went to visit her in the surgical I.C.U. in Ann Arbor, while Laura was there for Josh's U. of M. orientation.
Julia has critical injuries to her vital organs, and had major surgery to remove her splean, her left kidney, 30 per cent of her pancreas, part of her intestines. Her heart and lungs were crushed and she's heavily sedated and on a ventilator, and she has broken ribs and broken vertebrae.
But, she is expected to survive, and she's making slow but steady progress, though still unconscious.
My friend Doug's mom had open heart surgery to repair a heart valve, at age 80, and is coming home from the hospital today. So, I have been supporting him by phone and by email, through the process.
Life is finite. Time and friendship is precious. Moments with those we love are special and cherished.
And, the resiliency of the human spirit in the face of adversity is remarkable and amazing.