Dear Noah,
I know this is your first appearance in the novel so far this year, so you're probably feeling a little bit woozy and confused (don't worry - we all are,) but I'd appreciate it if you would get a little more into character. Your giant guilt trip over crossing Veruca's boundaries earlier really doesn't fit with the roguish, well meaning ne'er do well you're supposed to be. Also, you're up to something shifty, (which is great, as you're supposed to be, so keep that up, eh?) but I need to know what it is, or we're going to have a whopper of a problem soon. I like writing you, so let's communicate, shall we?
Hopefully,
Your Loving Author
PS: Thank you so much for being an introspective babbler.
9726 / 50000 words. 19% done!