Fic: "Lilac Wine" [written for deancas_xmas; NC-17, Dean/Cas]

[nanoochka]

TITLE: Lilac Wine
AUTHOR: nanoochka
RATING: NC-17
WORDCOUNT: 10,100
WARNINGS: Heavy angst, references to (canon) character death, drug use (after fashion)
SPOILERS: Up to 7.06 but with a reference to 7.09
SUMMARY: “I made wine from the lilac tree / Put my heart in its recipe / It makes me see what I want to see / and be what I want to be / When I think more than

Comments

[bakuhatsubutsu]

Part of the way through I started believing that Dean was going to overdose and put himself in the dream state forever, and I was gripped with the knowledge that Castiel does in fact come back, and that he wouldn't be able to have him then, if he was locked in his illusion... (almost like when Romeo drinks the poison thinking Juliet dead, only to have her wake up and see what has happened to him? Did I just relate Dean and Cas to Romeo and Juliet? I think I did...)

But I realized quickly that Dean would, for one, not give up on the possibility of seeing Cas again (as evidenced by his keeping the trenchcoat), and that Dean is stronger than that, knows that no matter what, he belongs on earth where things are real and tangible. That's why the last little bit about the "scent of pine and wet earth" was probably the most vivid to me because it stood out so from the abstract, dream-ness of the dream home, and even the sort of otherworldliness of the witch's shop. By abstract, I supppose I mean vague, that is, non-specific - the home you described in Dean's dream could be anywhere, which made it all the more romantic and allowed us, as someone commented above, to become "hypnotized" by the illusion, but also, for me, gave me the constant suspicion that it was fake, that it was going to dissolve at any moment.

The story is tragic indeed, because of "what could be", the possibility of a romantic relationship being cut short, but to me, the ending was not so tragic. It was rather hopeful. Dean "getting on with things" is something he's never able to do - throughout the whole series Dean lacks the ability or oppurtunity to move on, and even when he tries to (see: Lisa), he keeps getting pulled back into his past heartbreaks. So the ending I found rather hopeful, actually, and not cruel at all. It would be more cruel to let him live a in a lie forever.

As one person above commented, I was also impressed with your ability to switch between tenses was subtle enough as to not be confusing, but obvious enough to draw a strict contrast between the dream-world and the real world. Interesting that Dean's dream you made present-tense, like it is happening perpetually and now, while the past-tense made the real world appear linear and finished - one thing ends and then another, while in the dream world things can happen all at once. I suppose that's what made the dreaming so convincing. Excellent portrayal of dreams.

Looks like I just wrote you part of an essay there, sorry! Reading good writing inspires me to write! It changes my very language into (something resembling) that of an intellectual!

I was pleasantly surprised clicking on this story, which appeared on a recommendation list on tumblr. It was a lovely read. Skillful writing and a very impressive vocabulary (I admit there were a few words I had to look up, which made me very happy!); I'm excited to read more of your work!