"My aunt has four thumbs."
Hey dudes! You can blame a combination of work and my brother for my absence, because he gave me a copy of Canis Canem Edit (that's Bully to you non PAL region guys - they renamed it here for some damn stupid censorship reason). It's kind of like Grand Theft Auto, but set in a school, without the gratuitous death and with a protagonist who cannot yet drive.
The main character's name is James Hopkins (AKA 'Jimmy'), a boy who's mother has recently remarried to a rich fat old bastard. Jimmy does not approve, and has demonstrated his disapproval through actions that have gotten him expelled from seven successive schools. The last one he actually set fire to, and now every other school in the state refuses to take him - except for Bullsworth Academy, the toughest, harshest, most unashamedly cruel place of learning that is not in fact a military school (it tends to turn out lawyers and politicians). The aim of the game is to get through school without getting expelled and curry favour with the various cliques, through doing errands and the occasional burst of unmitigated violence.
There is something unexpectedly cathartic in beating the snot out of jocks.
But! I don't like it just for the beating. It's lots of fun (though not very deep), and there's a whole lot of brilliant dialogue and interesting characters. (Like Gary. God bless you, Gary, you strange and hilariously smarmy sociopath.) The music is excellent, and the art is nice.
I can't believe I'm saying this about a Rockstar game, but it's actually pretty cool. Fucking Rockstar.
(Also, I am sure many of you will be pleased by the fact that you can kiss both girls and boys for bonus health. It's okay, I am too. Also, I'll bet you my next paycheck that somebody, somewhere has written either Gary/Jimmy or Gary/Pete happy sparkly boysex. This knowledge saddens me.)
Also: BACO BACO I GOT YOUR PACKAGE! Your letter made me giggle and was actually not as rambly as the one I undoubtedly would have included, had I sent such a package. Kingdom Come does indeed have lovely art, but I only picked one Watchmen reference. Does that mean I have to hand in my geek license?
The main character's name is James Hopkins (AKA 'Jimmy'), a boy who's mother has recently remarried to a rich fat old bastard. Jimmy does not approve, and has demonstrated his disapproval through actions that have gotten him expelled from seven successive schools. The last one he actually set fire to, and now every other school in the state refuses to take him - except for Bullsworth Academy, the toughest, harshest, most unashamedly cruel place of learning that is not in fact a military school (it tends to turn out lawyers and politicians). The aim of the game is to get through school without getting expelled and curry favour with the various cliques, through doing errands and the occasional burst of unmitigated violence.
There is something unexpectedly cathartic in beating the snot out of jocks.
But! I don't like it just for the beating. It's lots of fun (though not very deep), and there's a whole lot of brilliant dialogue and interesting characters. (Like Gary. God bless you, Gary, you strange and hilariously smarmy sociopath.) The music is excellent, and the art is nice.
I can't believe I'm saying this about a Rockstar game, but it's actually pretty cool. Fucking Rockstar.
(Also, I am sure many of you will be pleased by the fact that you can kiss both girls and boys for bonus health. It's okay, I am too. Also, I'll bet you my next paycheck that somebody, somewhere has written either Gary/Jimmy or Gary/Pete happy sparkly boysex. This knowledge saddens me.)
Also: BACO BACO I GOT YOUR PACKAGE! Your letter made me giggle and was actually not as rambly as the one I undoubtedly would have included, had I sent such a package. Kingdom Come does indeed have lovely art, but I only picked one Watchmen reference. Does that mean I have to hand in my geek license?