icon request

[funkyturtle]

I have no skill with images so I have come to you awesome people, not with icons that I made, but a request.

I am writing my nano entirely via tarot cards (I'm picking one at random each day and using it as a writing prompt).  I also love lolcats.

I'd love either a tarot-ish or lolcat-ish nano icon or something that says any of these things:

I'm killing you in my novel.  (someone made me an awesome version of this last year with happy bunny - it ruled)
All good writers are liars and thieves.
William Shakespeare was a hack and so am I.
When my characters bore me, I make them bleed.
There is no problem so great that summoning Cthulhu won't make it go away. 
When in doubt, add tentacles.

Thanks in advance for anyone willing to help me out!